Why do I keep going Back?

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

You know he’s wrong for you, yet you keep going back thinking he will be different this time.

When something is over, its over. No amount of returning to the scene of the crime is going to repair or change who he (or in some cases she is).  Doing the same thing over and over expecting different results is the definition of insanity.

He keeps breaking your heart and you keep returning. WHY?

You want to be loved. A relationship is always a reflection of how we feel about ourselves. This is a tough thing to take, but he is treating you the way you treat yourself. Be kind to you. Go out with your friends. But break this cycle, because each time you return will be worse than the last.

Not only do you keep getting your heart broken, but any amount of healing you have done goes out the window each time you go back. Meaning you have to grieve, feel hurt and begin to heal all over again. Remember the first time, when you were committed to no phone calls, FaceBook or texting? Stick to that. No contact.

This guy (girl) has already shown you who he is. Trust that. He is not going to change because you have given him “another chance.” In fact, the respect he had for you has diminished and each subsequent reconciliation may be great for one night. You are expecting him to be different, but he can’t be something he isn’t.  After the one night of bliss it will be much worse than the time before. He has no respect for someone who keeps allowing him to hurt, betray and lie to you. 

Think about it this way: If you got hit over the head every time you did something would you continue to do it? NO! 

This relationship is addictive. You are wanting a relationship so you will put up with whatever treatment to have one. If you could step outside of the relationship and see the energy pattern it would be a downward spiral of energy. Each time your self esteem gets lower and lower, which causes you to accept less and less for yourself. You have to break this energy cycle. Get some help. You can do this! You have whatever you need inside of you.

Here are 13 ways to break this cycle:

  1. Give yourself 3 weeks without contact. (no text, email, phone)
  2. Make new friends
  3. Do something different – take a class or go to a wine tasting
  4. Keep yourself busy.
  5. Focus on you, not him. 
  6. Turn your focus inward. Use the affirmations below.
  7. Be kind to yourself, nurture you, 
  8. Get moving. Exercise will help you feel happier
  9. Chance your scenery. Get out of your routine.
  10. Meditate every day. Use the link below.
  11. Eat healthy foods, this will help you feel more positive.
  12. Use a mantra that is positive. ” I LOVE ME.” “GOD LOVES ME.” this will raise your vibration and you will begin to feel better.
  13. Clear your energy field in a salt water bath and cut chords between you with your intention. Do this several times.
Positive Affirmations Access The Unconscious Mind

  1. I AM beautiful.
  2. I AM worthy.
  3. I AM lovable.
  4. I AM deserving.
  5. I AM unique.
You are beautiful. You are disrespecting yourself each time you have contact with this person. When you feel the urge to contact him, call a friend instead. Doing something different each time you feel the urge for contact will help. Going back to someone who is cheating, hurting, lying or in general not treating you as you deserve is not worth spending another breath on. He is showing you that you don’t love yourself. Hire a coach, begin to meditate. Do something for yourself that will help you to feel good about you. Use positive affirmations. Post them on your bathroom mirror and do them while you put on your makeup or shower. Use them several times a day. Getting an energy clearing will help to cut the energy in a powerful way. 

You deserve so much better. You are lovable. You will continue to attract others that treat you badly when you don’t love yourself compassionately.

Jennifer is a life, love and relationship coach that empowers women (and committed men) to love themselves fearlessly and compassionately. You can reach her via e-mail here: Divinehealingnow@yahoo.com

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