By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters
It is possible to go through a whole lifetime without self love. When we do we feel lonely, empty and often depressed. Isn’t it time for you?
If you aren’t happy with your life, your relationships and where you are, the issue lies within. It is not your job, your relationship, car or money that will bring you lasting happiness. Nothing material can fulfill you permanently. Lack of self love leads to a feeling of not being good enough, not having the success you feel you should and not having relationships that fulfill you. Humans spend most of their lives searching for what will bring them happiness and it is no further away than their own heart.
For years, I struggled with guilt, shame, lack consciousness and relationship issues. It wasn’t that I didn’t have relationships, I have had more than my fair share. I had the babies I dreamed of having after the weddings I dreamed of and still wasn’t happy. I was in my 50’s before it all came together miraculously.
It isn’t your weight, your job, your relationship or your children that will make you happy. No amount of trying to use drugs, thrills or sex will fulfill you, if you don’t love yourself. You like me, will feel fulfilled, have lasting happiness and joy when you do. Here are the steps I took to love myself. If it worked for me, I know it will work for you.
5 Steps To Self Love
- Put The Focus On You. Get to know yourself on a deep level. Write a description of who you are (come from your heart, not your intellect). What do you like about you? What do you not like about you? What do you wish was different. What do you LOVE to do? What makes you happy? What are you passionate about? Instead of looking at your partner when you get upset about something turn your focus inward. What does this situation remind you of?
- Forgive Everyone. The fastest and most profound way to forgive is to use the Ho’oponopono prayer. You don’t need an apology from the other person. This is all about you. Forgiving always needs to be done for you first. Then spend time saying the prayer for the other people, one at a time. The prayer is below. Forgiving others is not about the other person, but about you. Forgiving others will disengage you. It will stop the leaking of your precious energy to others. It helps to cut and repair the ties.
- Take Responsibility for Your Thoughts, Words, and Actions. Taking responsibility for yourself means you stop blaming others for your unhappiness. You take your power back by being responsible for yourself. No one else can make you happy but you. All you have to do is decide. Say YES! to yourself. Say YES! to be HAPPY.
- Be Positive. Beginning right now stop saying and thinking negative things about you and others. If God would not say those things to you, why do you? Like any fitness program, it takes diligence and practice. Believe me changing from negative to positive will change everything from your health to your relationships. Use a positive mantra or affirmation like, I LOVE ME, to replace the negative thoughts. You didn’t get here overnight, it will take time, but it is so worth it! This alone could save your life. Negativity can kill you. (It leads to disease and cancer in the body.) Resentment can kill you (it is the cause of cancer). Anger can kill you (it causes high blood pressure and heart disease).
- See The Gift In The Past. Each relationship we have had has taught us a lesson. Recognizing that the experiences we had were just lessons rather than mistakes help you recognize that you have not done anything wrong. Making yourself wrong or bad does not serve you. Instead lovingly accept that these experiences taught you something and as long as you are alive you will continue to learn more about you. You are a work in progress. Express your gratitude for the lesson learned. As soon as you can be grateful for what you have experienced your perspective about life shifts in a big way. Your whole purpose here on earth is to grow and evolve. We all do this by learning. Feeling shame or guilt about what we have done does not serve us or anyone else. Let it go. It was a lesson and a gift be GRATEFUL.
I am sorry
Please forgive me
I love you
Spend some time thinking about the things you have done to others and yourself before doing the prayer. Forgive yourself first. Spend about 20 minutes or more saying the prayers slowly. The thank you is expressing your gratitude for the lesson learned and the experience. It may not be something you THINK you need to do but it releases you powerfully from attachment to others. I gave this prayer to my daughter (15 at the time) to forgive her father. She had a lot of anger and resentment towards her Dad for not allowing her to live with me full time. She spent 40 minutes doing this prayer, cried, released a lot. She came out of her bedroom and told me her third eye (in the center of the forehead where we get visions through – opened). This is a powerful prayer. Meant to be done slowly. Allowing emotions to surface. Cry. Feel your emotions. They need to move. Stuck emotions cause depression and health issues.
Don’t beat yourself up about what you have done in the past. Do your best and know it is good enough. You are enough the way you are!