By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters
Great Sex? Read on……
As a self love coach, part of loving yourself is being authentic. Being fully who you are. I assist women come into loving acceptance of ALL that she is, her sexuality, her body and her relationship with herself. Part of loving yourself is being transparent, honest and speaking your truth. The buck stops here. The time for politeness is over. It is time for TRUTH, with a capital “T.”
75% of women never experience an orgasm through sex.
20% of women seldom have an orgasm
5% of all women NEVER have an orgasm
The above statistics have been compiled over 80 years of study
1 in 3 women have been molested
1 in 4 women have experienced sexual assault by a male
Everyone wants the same thing. Whether male or female, we all want to love and be loved. Yet the statistics of divorce tell another tale. Women are unhappy. There is an underlying reason why. We are not happy with our sex lives. Years of people pleasing leaves women feeling depleted and lost. The key is in getting in touch with their authentic self and being true to themselves.
If these statistics were true of men, something would have already been done about it. Case in point, men had difficulty having erections after age 50 and Viagra was invented. Women may be considered the fairer sex, but we are also the ones who have put up and shut up for far too long. Things are about to change. I am about to revolutionize relationships and sex for men and women. It has been tried before. Others have failed. Why will I succeed? Because I have God on my side. God loves win-win situations. Women have thought that men were the enemy for eons. Men have considered women demons, witches and enchantresses.
Women are the ones with the power. We are the ones that can give birth. We are the only ones that give life to our offspring. That in itself is magical and powerful. So why is it that we have suffered in silence for so long? Because underneath, it isn’t lady like to talk about sex. It isn’t ladylike to say we are not happy with our relationships because our sex lives suck!
We have attempted to be the people pleasers. In the process of trying to please others, we end up left out in the cold. We are unfulfilled and frustrated. Tell me please! If a man was to go to bed night after night unfulfilled and frustrated, would he continue to stay married to this person? I will let you answer that question. Relationships will be much happier and healthier with open and loving communication about what we want in and outside the bedroom.
Sexual abuse in childhood is one of the leading causes of sexual dysfunction. Remember where this molestation came from, most likely a male. Women have issues with trust in the bedroom. The more we trust you, the better sexual relations will be. We experience fight, flight or freeze in sexual abuse. When we freeze the pain and trauma is frozen within the cells of the body, particularly in the female sexual parts, the vagina. This can cause pain during intercourse, and sexual dysfunction.
10 Ways to improve your sex life
- Get to know yourself fully. Understand what you like, what you don’t like and learn the art of self pleasuring. How can your partner understand what you want, if you don’t even know.
- Be authentic. The more transparent you are the better. It is exhausting being something you aren’t. Don’t try to be who or what you think your partner wants. Be fully YOU!
- Faking who you are leads to faking elsewhere, which is not productive either.
- Be a good listener. Hear what your partner is saying to you.
- Communicate compassionately without blame, name calling or sarcasm. The better your communication is outside the bedroom the better it will be inside the bedroom.
- Learn to guide your partner with compassion and acceptance.
- Give complements about what works for you (in bed) first before asking for something to be different.
- Women need romance to get into the mood. We like flowers, dinner out, to be treated like a Queen. Don’t expect sex if you have told us we need to lose weight, made a crappy dinner or can’t clean well. (READ THIS TWICE!)
- Women need an average of 45 minutes of foreplay to have an orgasm. If you want more of this you have to comply.
- Know that what works for a man, does not necessarily work for a woman. Faster does not necessarily mean better! Ask and listen. Don’t let your ego be crushed to hear that you could do better. We all are works in progress. We are all learning what works best. Know that with appreciation, understanding and patience working together your love-making will get better and better.
Added: November 23, 2013. I have received a comment or two about the slant of this article. I will be posting an article in the next day or two that will reflect statistics with data about men.
Jennifer is a life, love and relationship coach. She is currently working on a manual to improve sexual relationships and help men and women be happier. This book will be out in February 2014.
She works with women to empower them to love themselves completely. Her work has been tested and proven to work. Jennifer is a healed healer having overcome trauma in her own childhood. To work with Jennifer or contact her for questions and further information her e-mail is: JenniferElizabethMasters@gmail.com