By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters
Conflict Resolution is the greatest issue in relationships….
Have you ever had an argument and wished you had not reacted angrily? I know that I have.
When faced with conflict, our defenses rise, we become angry or afraid. It is a natural animal response of flight, fright or freeze. Meeting someone’s anger with an equal or stronger emotion only causes more strife, and makes conflict resolution impossible. When we raise our backs up and become angry, nothing is resolved. We are acting out our animalistic auto response to aggression. Moving beyond that automatic programming can be challenging.
- Stop and think. Count to 10 slowly.
- Don’t react.
- Breathe in and out three times slowly while you count. Breathing helps you to become grounded and moves you out of an emotional reaction.
- Ask yourself: “Is this worth fighting about? Was this intentional, or accidental? Are you feeling emotions from an event long since passed unrelated to this moment now?”
- Most likely your reaction is being governed by events long ago, with NOTHING to do with what is going on right now.
- Remember you are NOT A VICTIM! No one is doing this TO YOU.
- If you are still feeling reactive breathe three more times.
- By now the angry response has subsided. Be present with your feelings. This is all about you, not the other person. Your feelings are coming up because you are feeling a reaction of a long ago issue.
- Spend some time reflecting on the button (trigger) being pushed. What was the thing that triggered you? A trigger is an invisible button that gets pushed. When you no longer have a button you have cleared the issue.
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Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is a self love coach. She empowers women (and men) to love themselves completely. When you love yourself completely, relationships become easy. You recognize your own responsibility in your life. You begin to let go of what doesn’t work, like fear, control, manipulation and anger. You find ways to move through your emotions easily without setting fire to your relationships with words and actions. Contact jennifer for your FREE Discovery session to find out if you are a good fit for her coaching programs. Divinehealingnow@yahoo.com