By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters
Nothing leaves you feeling more broken, dysfunctional and left out than having sex for hours without an orgasm. Yet for millions of women all over the world, orgasm continues to allude them. We have been damaged, raped, assaulted and molested. All of these transgressions have left their toll. From frigidity to not wanting to have sex at all, sexual dysfunction can leave you feeling something is really wrong with you.
I have been there myself. For years I had sex without orgasms with partners who got frustrated and left, saying, “Its just not fun for me.”
A New Study?
I find it quite humorous that after 60 years of study, a male urologist has researched the G-spot himself, and determined that it does not exist. “Without a doubt, a discreet anatomic entity called the G-spot does not exist,” said Dr. Amichai Kilchevsky, a urology resident at Yale-New Haven Hospital in Connecticut, and lead author of the review, published Jan. 12 in the Journal of Sexual Medicine. I would like to show him mine! How would he like it if a female urology resident told him that the prostate gland did not exist?
The G-spot (originally named for Dr. Ernst Gräfenberg), who described a 1-2 centimeter area on the vaginal wall in1950 set the wheels in motion for Western medicine to prove its validity. The Kamasastra and Jayamangala scripts dating back to 11th century India describe a similar sensitive area, according to the new study. Yet Dr. Kilchevsky could not locate it.
Could it be that the lab was not a place where a woman could get turned on enough for the G-spot to be in evidence? Or was it simply a matter of cutting out parts of the woman’s vagina that made the G-spot shrink like a shrinking Violet? To think he had to dissect a vagina to disprove its existence is barbaric and pathetic. I am appalled that this man continues to practice medicine.
If he had asked women who knew where their’s was and had experienced an ejaculation, like me, perhaps his study would have come to a very different conclusion. Some day I will meet this man who arrogantly turned back the hands of time to the dark ages for women with the stroke of his ignorant pen. Perhaps I will have the presence of mind, not to knee him in the groin, but I am not certain. Yes, this makes me angry!This is a case of a man not taking his head out of his ass long enough to or do the necessary background research to find out how long it takes for a woman to get turned on enough and under what conditions a woman will experience a G-spot orgasm. The answers my dear Watson are crystal clear.
Very and at least 20. A simple masturbation will barely begin to enlarge the area of the G-spot. This area will swell usually by the time the man is coming or already come. As the head of the penis swells at the point of orgasm within the vagina, the G-spot is beginning to respond. Usually a woman has to feel completely comfortable with their partner, have a deep and profound connection to experience a G-spot orgasm.
Once you have stimulated yourself to orgasm, that is the time to look for the G-spot. I would hazard to guess that the women in Dr. K’s study were shy, cold because they were under bright lights in a lab and barely turned on.
Understandably Dr. K would not have found the Shrinking Violet G-Spot. It needs lots of stimulation directly. If they could not even locate it, how could they directly stimulate it? Did he only pick women who had no clue where their’s was? Did he pick women who were non-orgasmic? If I had been his professor I would not have allowed this man to graduate. To think that he is practicing medicine! Does this give you faith in the medical profession? Or in the ability to train doctors about our lady parts?
Yes, every woman has a G-Spot. Feel along the upper wall of the vagina, approximately an inch and a half to two inches north (towards the navel). It takes a contortionist to reach this area. Most women are unfamiliar with it, partly because of the location is difficult to reach. Men rarely stimulate this area digitally. The G-Spot must be the focus rather than just thrusting a finger anywhere inside the vagina. Just as men have incredibly sensitive nerve endings at the tip of the penis, women have the G-Spot. It is thought to be the root of the clitoris, which explains its sensitivity.
When a woman begins to get really aroused this area will swell and feel ridged and spongy to the touch. The G-Spot is the size of a quarter, larger when aroused. Usually, the G-Spot swells when you are just getting ready to have an orgasm inside her. As the swelling penis begins to stimulate this area the G-Spot will swell naturally. That is usually when their partner is reaching an orgasm.
The first time the G-Spot is stimulated could be painful. It might make you feel you have to pee. Get up use the restroom and begin again. The urge to pee will eventually go away. If your partner has ever been molested, shamed for touching herself as a child, or traumatized sexually at all, this area will need some gentle and loving healing.
Why Most Women Never Have A G-Spot Orgasm
It takes patience and direct stimulation for it to swell. Women that don’t experience vaginal orgasms have very thin tissue in the G-spot, because theirs’ has not been directly stimulated – or they have a block from trauma in this area.
Pain from trauma stays frozen in the G-Spot and has shut down this area. One in three women have been sexually molested. Often they don’t even remember, as they were so young when it happened. Even shame from sexual touching in childhood can be enough to freeze pain in the G-Spot. If it hurts, most women don’t want to continue with touch in this area. They will shun stimulation avoiding the pain. Moving THROUGH the pain is what is needed. Until you heal the pain and trauma, there will be no G-Spot orgasm. The other side of pain is where the ultimate pleasure is.
Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is an author or Orgasm For Life, a woman’s empowerment coach energy healer and sex educator. For private coaching sessions: she can be reached at JenniferElizabethMasters@gmail.com