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For most of us, when we think of sex, it is with a smile remembering the last time we had a wonderful experience of pleasure and maybe even orgasm.
Sex can be painful if your partner has not taken enough time to get your vagina relaxed and aroused if you are under 50. Sex play is an important part of love-making. If your partner is not taking his or her time with you, speak up. Tell them what you need. Rushing sex for a man, may be pleasurable, but women probably won’t experience an orgasm this way and your partner is showing you a lack of consideration by not getting you ready for penetration. Slow down. Sex is so much better when it isn’t over in a heated rush. (Remember the Pointer Sister’s song?)
For post-menopausal women and some pre-menopausal women, sex is painful. When it hurts there is nothing a regular lubricant can do. The lower estrogen levels cause the vagina to shorten, become drier and the tissue to become fragile and extremely sensitive. Pushing forward will only increase the pain.
Eros and liquid silk can be effective at relieving this issue. For those who want a more natural method, practice, practice and more practice!
The best way to increase hormone levels is to gradually increase sex play. Be patient. As our bodies age, we need more time to raise our sexual energy. What used to happen within a few seconds, may take 20 or 30 minutes of foreplay before intercourse can take place. Focus on oral sex, or digital stimulation to raise hormonal levels. If even oral sex is painful, digitally stimulate your clitoris daily. Daily orgasms and raising your sexual energy will also increase the production of hormones. Be patient it will happen. Having sex once a month or less is not often enough to keep your hormones at their optimum level. As we age, our urges may diminish. However, regular sex play is the way to go to keep your vagina in shape for a healthy sexual relationship. Like anything else, if you stop exercising you gain weight. If you stop eating healthy you become ill. If you stop having sex, your vagina will shorten, and become fragile.
If you don’t use it, you lose it!
The key is regular sex play. Sex doesn’t have to include intercourse every time. There are many ways to enjoy each other’s body, snuggle, cuddle, stroke, massage, kiss and touch that can bring pleasure to the body. We all need touch. Most of us, do not get enough especially in long-term marriages. The key to having a vital happy relationship is to keep touching one another. To fondle, hold hands and kiss your partner when you walk by them. Let them know you love them with your eyes and your touch, not just your words.
- Dance and move your pelvis. Thrust the pelvis, up and down, to open up the sacral chakra. Not only will this increase sexual energy, it will also open you up to be more abundant financially as it opens up the second chakra.
- Become more unconventional with your sex life. Have sex in other rooms than just the bedroom and at different times. Sex does not always have to be at night. Afternoon can be a wonderful time to luxuriate naked with one another and take your time. You will feel less tired in the afternoon than the end of the day and have more energy.
- Daily stimulation with a vibrator or finger on the clitoris will not damage the vagina and will increase hormonal production and natural vaginal lubrication.
- Gently insert a finger into the vagina at least twice a week to stretch and get your body to remember what it naturally used to do.
- Get over any shame by looking at what is coming up for you emotionally. If you have a new partner, ask is this partner someone you should really be with? Are they kind, compassionate or more concerned about their satisfaction?
- Read erotica to get your mind turned on before sex. Women need their mind in the game for arousal to occur.
- Talk to each other about your sexual fantasies.
- Use dirty talk.
- Make sex a game. Really! Buy a sex board game and have some fun!
- Wear sexy lingerie.
- Buy something new for yourself that makes you feel sexy.
- Change positions and vary the type of play you perform.
- Introduce a feather, massage, or maybe a blindfold.
- Change it up.
- Sex does not have to be boring – use your imagination. Have some fun!
- Without the fear of pregnancy and children running around this could be a wonderful time of life for you both.
Jennifer is a life, love and sex coach. Her compassion and understanding coupled with empathy make her the perfect coach for your delicate issues. Jennifer has had her own. Check out her new website. Some issues are being worked on. So please bare with us. Visit Jennifer’ site now