What Is Erotic?

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters


Eroticism (from the Greek ἔρως, eros—”desire”) is a quality that causes sexual feelings,[1] as well as a philosophical contemplation concerning the aesthetics of sexual desire, sensuality and romantic love. That quality may be found in any form of art, including painting, sculpture, photography, drama, film, music or literature. It may also be found in advertising. The term may also refer to a state of sexual arousal[1] or anticipation of such – an insistent sexual impulse, desire, or pattern of thoughts.

As French novelist Honoré de Balzac stated, eroticism is dependent not just upon an individual’s sexual morality, but also the culture and time in which an individual resides.

I have been asked by Eric Jones and WRN radio show to discuss what is considered erotic for Wednesday’s show. I began to think about events in my life, visual experiences and art forms. Eroticism varies on personality, upbringing and sensibilities.


Subtleties rather than in-your-face pornography is my personal preference. But that is just the point. Each person may find different things erotic. Anticipation is a large part of eroticism. Waiting for what is to come, creates excitement. 

I have begun to write erotica. After hearing so many reports about 50 Shades of Gray and the quality of writing,
(by my mother who is now 92) I felt that a section in my book, Orgasm For Life would help my readers that needed their engines revved up to do so. Stories about lovers anticipating what is to come, can be extremely erotic.
Pornography although titillating for many, is too in my face, for my tastes. There is no relationship or deep connection in porn. Therefore, I find it repulsive and debasing. Respect for women is something our culture needs more of, rather than less. Don’t get me started!
I have compiled a list of my suggestions of erotic situations and pleasures. If you are still wondering what erotic really means.The key here is being subtle. Some guys don’t know what that means. Shoving someone’s head onto your throbbing member is not subtle. Subtle means gentle, a suggestion of possible pleasure at some point in the future, but you don’t know when. Anticipation is what excites. Slow, kisses on the back of the neck, like you have all day and the next week too. Take your time, enjoy the moment, rather than being the freight train that is done in two minutes. You might not get a second chance if you are the freight train. Women need slow, then fast, then slow. We need your gentle, slow touch, rather than a hasty finger in and out so you can stuff your half-hard penis inside us. No woman would appreciate that. 
Women are powerful. We don’t need you as much as you need us. So take care. Go slow. Act like you like us. Be honest, respectful, and we will return the favor if you please us. Attitude? You betcha! Great sex is not something that is fast and over-and-done-with. Great sex happens when you take your time, romance us, and care about how we feel. To be a great lover you have to be patient, caring, tender as well as strong, and want to please your partner. When you are selfish, ego-filled, you will not listen to our bodies, or pay attention to how we are breathing. All these are signs to how you are pleasuring your partner.They are important. All our senses need to be stimulated, beginning with our minds. Taste, touch, smell, sounds, sights all figure prominently in great sex. Find a way to excite all senses. Here are a few:
  1. Slipping naked into silk or satin sheets.
  2. Showering with your lover and having them buff you with their body.
  3. A beautiful feather stroking you from head to toe, slowly.
  4. Having your lover whisper in your ear in the morning what they want to do to you when they come home. Thinking about that whisper and their breath on your ear, all day long. Extremely erotic. 
  5. Having your lover wash your hair.
  6. Having your lover paint your toenails. Without expecting anything in return.
  7. Having your lover give you a long, slow all-over body massage with oil.
  8. Laying on a beautiful tropical island with your lover next to you and thinking about what you want to do to them while the sun beats down on your half-naked body.
  9. Sipping a cool drink lazily on this beautiful island in the shade, while your lover runs his hand slowly up your calf and stops at the knee, looking you in the eyes with a “I want to make love to you NOW!” look.
  10. Having your lover make love to you all day – without touching you, through texts, phone calls, loving glances and wonderful anticipation.
  11. A lingering kiss on the mouth, a longing look, and a sensual touch along your lower back, almost grazing your ass…….   the key here is subtlety guys. Right before you leave to go to work. This will keep us thinking about you all day long, wondering what will happen the next time we are together. Rather than the in your face “Give it to me because I am horny!” Such a turn off. Slow kissing, can be extremely erotic. Some people can orgasm through kissing alone.
  12. When you make it all about us, rather than you.
  13. When you give more than you receive.
  14. You taking the time to draw a bath, light the candles, with a glass of Perrier, with no expectations of anything more. 
  15. Having your lover drip honey onto your naked  body and then slowly lick it off. 
  16. Sexy talk whispered into your ear while making love. Each person’s acceptable vocabulary is different. Check with your partner first, before using foul language.
  17. Reading erotica together can be extremely exciting. My personal favorite is Lady Chatterly’s Lover. Published in 1928 by DH Lawrence.
  18.  http://www.amazon.com/Lady-Chatterleys-Lover-Wordsworth-Classics/dp/1840224886
Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is the author of Orgasm For Life: A no holds-barred guide to BLISS launching on May 20, 2014. This book is not just a book about sex. It is a light-hearted and often humorous look at ourselves. It bridges the chasm between men and women where we make each other wrong. It crosses the lines of hate, mis-understanding, bringing us closer to who we truly are. Self Love is the foundation for healthy, loving supportive relationships, SEX is the glue. 
Sex helps us to connect with another deeply through our mind-body and spirit to raise our vibration and bring us closer to God/Allah/ Source/ Higher Power. This is where BLISS is. Sex is not dirty or wrong it is spiritual. Sex was after all, created by God. 

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