Yesterday, I wrote a post about my mother, as a tribute to her for Mother’s Day. I left out the tales of woe, the difficulties and challenges in my life due to what my mother didn’t do to protect me. Everyone has issues and challenges in their childhood. As we mature into adults and even in adulthood, we continue to have issues surface that stem from what happened or didn’t happen in those formative years. It is what we do with those challenges that counts. How we deal with subsequent events, emotions that surface and situations, change us deeply.
After writing the post, I wanted to call my mother before I left my house. Holding my cell phone in my hand, I brought up my mother’s phone number. At the exact time as my index finger touched the screen, my son, Adam’s name came up on my phone screen as an incoming call. He was calling me to wish me a happy Mother’s Day. His incoming call pre-empted my call, to my mother, but his call vanished. I returned to calling my mother, and left a message when she was not at home.
When I called Adam back, (he is very Metaphysical awake and aware) he commented that that exchange with me was the most violent of phone calls we have ever had. Because of the energy in my finger tip and body after writing the post, it jolted the phone out of Adam’s hand. As he dropped the phone it hit his girlfriend, in her kidney as if stabbing her. (Kidneys have to do with being pissed off.)
All this energy in my body, along with Adam’s comments about it caused me to reflect on my true feelings of resentment, anger and hostility towards my mother I may have unconsciously been feeling. Each time I spoke to her, she made comments about how I have hurt her with my first book, that it wasn’t true and I should never write anything like that again.
I reflected on the resentment I had held for my mother and began to let go of what was coming up for me. I realized I was still holding onto some of the past events in my life. Yes, I had done tons of healing. I had cleared patterns many times. Although, I was not attached to the story and it did not define me any longer, there were still other aspects surfacing. As we heal one aspect, other pieces of the puzzle can surface later on as we shift. Recognizing that we are never done with our inner work is important. Thinking we are finished, complete or above more letting go is ego-driven and simply untrue.
I have met people who have also been enlightened, who have told me that they were done with their work here. My personal feeling and that of many others is, as long as we are in a physical body – there is more work to be done.
My mom and Dad
Standing at the bathroom mirror putting my makeup on for my busy day, I was being guided to forgive my mother some more. I said out loud to my reflection:
I forgive and let go of the fact that my mother did not protect me as I wished she had.
I forgive my mother for being emotionally unavailable to me when I was a child and afterwards – because it was all she knew to do.
I forgive my mother for not knowing how to heal herself.
I forgive my mother for not loving me the way I needed to be loved.
Whatever I felt a charge about, I spoke out loud and forgave myself and my mother. I did the Ho’oponopono Prayer:
I am sorry
Please forgive me
I love you
All of this being said, the early part of my morning emotions continued to bubble up, seemingly out of nowhere. I was teary a large part of the morning. When I finally got a chance to talk with my mother late in the day, our phone call was warm, loving and connected. There was none of the usual criticism from her, for anything I was doing or not doing. When I hung up the phone, I cried like a little girl wanting her mommy. Crying is healing. It allows our body to release emotions. Holding on to emotions, stuffing them causes depression and a build up of anger. Releasing emotions with crying also releases stress held in the body and allows you to feel more open, heart centered and loving.
Heart Centered More Loving
I would be remiss if I did not share the rest of my day with you. There is an underlying message here for us all. There is always more to forgive, there is always another layer in which we can love ourselves more. There is always another way you can soften, become more loving towards yourself and others. When we do this, we raise the bar for our lives. Instead of being just “Good enough, ” our lives become more connected, more open, and loving.
More Emotionally Available
I committed to continue to raise the bar in my life. To continue to open, let go of resentment, anger and anything else that was triggered in my body. I committed to have a higher love for myself and others. All this makes us more emotionally available to our pets, children and loved ones.
When I let go of more negative feelings, I am more present for my clients, children and friends. I become a better partner in my relationship. I hear more clearly when people speak to me. I become light filled, more powerful and certainly more of my true self.
Using this method for healing and becoming more heart-centered, look at those who have harmed you in the past. What feelings are you still holding on to? What resentment is still present that you have not noticed or addressed? Who can you forgive a little more to open your heart fully?
My guides were talking to me while I did the release work and told me I needed to write about this for you. They said others needed to hear that I am not perfect, or done with letting go. As long as we are in a physical body, we can grow, heal and love more deeply.
I love you. I appreciate all that you have gone through and are continuing to experience in your life. I send compassion to each and every one of you for your pain, suffering and growth. I thank you for reading my posts. I hope that you will share this blog with those you feel it will help. I am almost at 20,000 hits on my blog. Please share it and help get the message of self love, healing and being all we can be out into the world.
Jennifer is a life, love and sex coach, empowering men and women to love themselves more fully. She is awakened, self actualized and continuing to work on herself. May 30th, Jennifer is beginning a 6 week group coaching experience, this Love Yourself Fearlessly workshop includes 90 minutes of group coaching where you can be coached on the call for your own issues. This 6 week program is $397.00 per person. You will receive your own pdf workbook for each week, with homework that helps you dig down, get to know who you are so that you can fall in love with you. If you don’t love you, how can you expect anyone else to?
This workshop will empower you, fill you with love for yourself so that you feel happier, more confident and recognize your gifts, talents, passions and are generally happier with your life.
Jennifer has had many clients find not only love for themselves during this program, but also soul mates, Divine Partners and Beloveds that they had been searching for a lifetime. What women have found is that when you being to love and yourself fully, people that you had not noticed, are seen in a different light. Your partner may be in your midst right now, but you just haven’t noticed them. When you love yourself, you open up to people that you formerly shut yourself off to.
WEDNESDAY PODCAST FREE!
Jennifer had a FREE weekly podcast on Wednesday nights at 5:00 PM PST, 8:00 PM EST. You can call in for the podcast here:
CALL IN WEDNESDAY(605) 475-4000 PIN 939401#.
You can listen to the replay by calling:
REPLAY: (605) 475-4099 PIN 939401#
Each week the subject matter shifts. This week the subject is
EMOTIONAL HEALTH AND WELL BEING emotions held lead to illness, cancer and even death. Every illness has an emotional component. When we ignore the emotional component we end up getting sick, having pain and worse.