You Can’t Always Get What You Want

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Have you ever been in a situation where you had your own idea of what needed to happen, so you pushed to make it so? Even in the face of everything sacred, things just didn’t go as you planned. They usually don’t when we attempt to impose our will on others.

Life inspires me. When issues arise in my life, I share them with my readers. This week, I traveled with my daughter to Boulder, Colorado in her father’s truck on Monday. Our drive was good, easy and uneventful.

When we arrived in Boulder, we had paperwork to process and our own agenda. We had good intentions. We thought we could take care of her driver’s test, truck tags and ID card while in town. That was not to be. For every corner we turned, we were met with closed doors, wrong forms, no picture ID from California. The FedEx overnight package I spent $40 on, was returned without so much as a phone call by the North Dakota DMV, because I did not sign the paperwork the way they wanted me to. 

California uses a paper driver’s permit, that other states don’t recognize as a valid form of identification. Even California won’t recognize a learner’s permit as a valid ID. My daughter asked me if maybe she wasn’t supposed to be in Colorado. Intuitively, I knew that was not the issue. Both Ariel and I were challenged for different reasons when things did not go as we planned.  “If one more thing goes wrong, I think I will cry!” my daughter said.

For over a week Ariel and I talked about having banana cream pie from the Walnut Cafe in Boulder. We were delighted to find that they had it on their extensive pie menu when we arrived there on Thursday at lunch time. We always ordered pie as our first course. I love to eat desert first, it is one of my little indulgences when I am out of town.

When we arrived at our favorite breakfast and pie place, we watched in disbelief as, banana cream, was removed from the menu board before we could place our order. All I wanted was my daughter to get her driver’s license, and truck tagged so she could be independent and have transportation. If she couldn’t have that, at least we had banana cream pie! As we watched the banana cream pie vanish from the menu, it was me, who burst into tears, not Ariel. The things I wanted to accomplish were not being done. Doors were being closed at every turn.

It was her fear of driving without me. Although she had been driving every chance she could get, she was not ready to drive on her own as yet. Her mother being 900 miles away, did not make her feel warm and fuzzy driving. The Universe always and in every way works for our highest and best good. The Universe was protecting her from herself. She will be unable to get her permanent driver’s license till I return to Colorado in 20 days. We both were shown that our agenda was not in my daughter’s highest and best good. She had tremendous fear about driving alone. Fear behind the wheel could easily attract an accident. Neither of us wanted that to happen.

To some, when we have our agenda or will that pushes for our desires, we might feel that The Universe, or God is working against us. That is not the case, and could not be further from the truth. Just because YOU feel it is a good idea, doesn’t mean that it is. It does not mean no, it just means, not right now. There are so many possibilities in The Universe, we can only see what is immediately before us.

We all have our desires and will. When we attempt to impose our will on another, in a relationship we will find our partner can and often will apply equal pressure in the opposite direction. When our agenda doesn’t match our partner’s we can try to make things happen, the way we want them to. For women, this could mean trying to get someone to be exclusive, move in with us, marry us, or adopt our children. It could mean to have a man take a more active role in your children’s lives, when he isn’t interested. For men, pushing your agenda could mean trying to get the person you are dating to have sex with you, ahead of her schedule. 

When we push for something that goes against the grain, we become like salmon swimming upstream. We are pushing our energy, trying to make things happen. Things begin to fall apart. We could lose the relationship we have because our agenda does not match our partner’s, and The Universe will not support us in our manipulation.

Sometimes, women want men to move in with them, to make them feel more secure. Or women want to be exclusive with the person they are dating. When the relationship has not evolved to that point, your partner might feel pressured and wonder if you are the right person for them. You have to have a conversation about your individual desires. 

What does this mean? When things evolve naturally, they feel right. You don’t have to push. They just fall into place on their own. Pushing your ideals, will, or agenda could create the exact opposite of what your desire is. If the person you are dating is recently divorced and single, it is likely they are not interested in a serious commitment just yet. They haven’t gotten over their break-up. They have not healed and let go. So what do we do?

  1. Be in a state of allowing. Allow things to take their natural course. Don’t push your own energy to make things happen.
  2. Be present in the NOW. Breathe deeply. Focus on what is going on right now, rather than striving to bring what you desire into the present. Enjoy each moment rather than pushing for something different.
  3. Pay attention to your fears. What is your motivation? Are you in fear of losing your man, or woman? Are you trying to push them away? Are you afraid of intimacy? Or are you afraid you will never get married, and want to MAKE IT HAPPEN?
  4. If your partner says, “I’m not ready for a relationship.” Don’t try to push it. Listen to what they are saying. Trying to change another is manipulative and rarely works to your benefit. Let them go. 
  5. Talk to your partner about what they want. Do not read into what they are saying, “I am not ready to get serious, yet….” does not mean that they will want to move in with you and your children next month.
Pushing your own will on another could lead to disastrous results. Instead of being in a state of allowing in our relationship with a man or woman , we may cause it to explode and end because we are not being patient and allowing nature to take it’s course. 

When we are supported in our endeavors by The Universe, things happen and move forward with ease, effortlessly and easily. Check in with yourself. Are things difficult? Are you pushing your will on another? Stop, take a step back and breathe. Allow nature to take it’s own course, it will be infinitely more beneficial in the long run, with much more positive results. You may not always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you will get what you need. Take it away Mick!

Jennifer is the author of Orgasm For Life. This book is due out May 28th, available on She is an awakened healer, hypnotherapist and certified life coach. Sex, love and relationships are her focus. When you love being alone with you – others will want to be with you also! Jennifer’s website is:

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