By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters
Yes we all want love. We want to be adored, revered, accepted for who we are. Some people seem to have the market cornered on ease in relationship. This is how they live their lives.
- Be authentic. When we are totally transparent, true to ourselves, we show up in our relationship as deeply grounded and comfortable in our own skin. We don’t have to worry about what we said to whom, because we don’t lie, cheat or steal in any way. We are the same with the cashier at the supermarket as we are with our mothers, brothers and lovers. We don’t waste energy trying to please others. We are kind, loving and caring. We know who we are and are happy with ourselves.
- We are not defined by our past. The past was a learning experience and led us to be who we are today. Just because we were wounded or traumatized in childhood, or in past relationships does not mean that we carry jaded feelings about those events into our current life. Each event has been woven beautifully into our tapestry of life. The past was just an event that taught us more about ourselves.
- Be Confident alone. When we are self assured, we don’t need to be in a relationship to feel good about ourselves. We are happy no matter where we are, no matter whom we are with. We know ourselves and are happy with who we are. This confidence is not an arrogance, but is shown in how we carry ourselves, how we react to life events. Rather than being jealous we are comfortable and confident. Rather than being defensive, we will listen, take in what is said and decide whether we resonate with your comments or not. We are not affected by other’s insecurities. We don’t try to please to win friends – to feel better about ourselves. We give because we want to. We come to the table already filled, rather than looking for another to fill us up.
- Be Vulnerable. We are able to allow another to see deeply into the depth of our soul, without fear. This vulnerability is palpable and allows a deep connection and trust. It can’t be forced.
- Giving Without Expecting Anything in Return. Giving without expectations is a beautiful thing. Feeling confident, giving with an open heart, rather than looking for validation changes the playing field.
- Have a Sense of Humor. Being able to make your partner laugh is a great gift. When we are comfortable with ourselves, we are able to laugh about the silly things we do. We are also able to see the humor in every day life. Being able to make your partner laugh is a great gift.
- Non-Compete Clause. Instead of being in competition with our partners, we support them and inspire them. We allow our partners to be great in their own right. We don’t feel less than because they can do something better than we can. We know what our own strengths are and feel comfortable with you being able to do things better than we can.
- Don’t Keep Score or Hang Onto Anger. We can let go of the past and not hold a grudge.
- Don’t Try To Change Their Partner. You are okay as you are and are accepting of your partner.