Making Sex Sacred With Tantra

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

For most of us, the focus of sex is the culmination of expansive and exquisite energy surging upwards and thrusting us into states of ecstasy. An orgasm is all that and more. However, it

does not have to include ejaculation for orgasm to occur. Men can have orgasms without ejaculation with practice. This is the beginning of a series on the subject of Tantra. What it means and why you would want to practice Tantra.

Timing Is Everything
Both men and women can be disappointed in the length of the sex act. Men often feel self condemnation about the length of time they can prolong sex before reaching a climax. It is a natural occurring phenomenon for men to be driven to orgasm. It is programmed into their DNA. We were created to sustain life on this planet. One of those programs imprinted in men’s DNA was a drive to procreate. They can’t help it.

We Were Programmed This Way

Men generally, but don’t always have higher libidos than most women and are much more driven to ejaculate than women are driven to orgasm. In fact, when women reach an orgasm before the male, the inside of the vagina becomes more acidic killing precious swimmers. We have been programmed NOT to orgasm before the male. A woman that does not have an orgasm has a higher chance of becoming pregnant than one who does. Orgasm increases the acidity of the uterus which makes conception more difficult.  

On average most women need longer to achieve an orgasm than a man during intercourse. Most women need twenty to forty minutes of stimulation to have an orgasm. We can’t get angry about something that was programmed into us. Many men are often anxiously chomping at the bit, wondering when they can let go themselves, while waiting for their lady to climax. For mutual pleasure to occur, we need to find a work-around to have both partners collapsing on their pillows sweating and satiated.

Semen Retention?

Learning the art of semen retention, through Tantra can help men last longer, making love for an hour or more. Tantric sex was brought out of the dark with stories about 24 hour long sex, by Sting, the musician. 

What is Tantra?

Tantra is a Hindu or Buddhist mystical or ritual text which originated in India. It originated around the 5th century. It is the adherence to the doctrines of the principals of the tantras involving mantra, meditations, yoga and ritual. Tantric Sex combines meditations, yoga, breath, and shifting the focus of sex from end-result oriented to being in the present moment completely with your partner. Instead of a fast heated rush, it involves a deep and powerful soulful, body-mind-soul connection with your partner and a sacred, slow pace. Today Tantric sex is considered conscious love-making. Tantra brings the sacredness of our bodies and love-making together. Tantra includes revering each other and our joint blissful union. Tantra and yoga were one and the same in their original form. 

Tantra originated from a time when sex was denied. Spirituality and sexuality are joined together embracing the body as a divine temple. Tantra reveres the body and the sacred act of sex rather than seeing sex and the body as something sinful as so many religions do. The essence of Tantra is combining the heart, mind and spirit in the act of making love without attachment. Open heart, open mind. Everything is Divine.

Why Would You Want To Try Tantra?

45% of men reach orgasm within 2 minutes after penetration occurs. This fact alone could make women shout and fist bump with their girlfriends, that they’ve got it going on! However, hot we are sexually, the key is to both receive pleasure, and mutually enjoy an orgasm. Extending love-making so that both are able to give AND receive pleasure is what Tantra is all about. 
Self-pleasuring for both men and women  takes approximately 4 minutes to reach the pinnacle of the sex act, orgasm. Using semen retention can allow the man to last longer, without achieving an orgasm so quickly.

How Do We Do It?

Tantra is shifting the focus from purely sexual experience to blend mind, body and spirit. From eye gazing and meditating together before sex, you begin with the intent in mind to connect deeply with your partner, heart-to-heart and soul-to-soul. It is a balance of yin and yang, male and female. 

Shift The Focus

Connecting with each other prior to beginning to make love with your hearts open, looking deeply into your partner’s eyes with an awakened heart. The more open and authentic you can be the better. You are allowing your souls to connect rather than just your sexual parts. Awakening of the kundalini or Shakti (life force) moves energy upward as in the union between Shiva and Shakti.

Moving Energy

Take turns as the receiver and the giver, by touching your partner’s genitals and then placing your hand on their heart chakra at the same time. Focus on moving energy from their genitals into their heart center. As you move sexual energy up into your heart you can circulate it throughout the body, which will enliven and give you more energy to last longer and also live a longer, healthier life.

Stay tuned for more articles on Tantra, what it can do for you and why you want to learn about it.

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