Nowhere you can go that isn’t where you’re meant to be. John Lennon
When you boil life, living and relationships down to one thing, John Lennon’s lyrics written in 1967 are still true today. Without love we are lifeless shells. Love is what heals, gives us purpose and makes life worth living. Love makes everything we experience better. The stars shine brighter, the birds sing, trees come alive, nature and all our experiences are better. Love is what we come to earth for. Without it, we are not living fully.
When we finally come to a place of infinite love, self love and acceptance, we feel love whether we are alone or with a partner. Being with a partner enhances all aspects of life but also brings us deep personal growth. Relationships reflect back to us who we are.
Scientists studied couples at the University of Delaware and the University of Virginia. Of those studied in two separate groups, those newlywed couples who showed affection, flirting, empathy and caring statements were much more likely to weather the storms of life as they inevitably surfaced.
Couples that expressed positive emotion and greater affection were much more likely to exhibit marital satisfaction than those who did not. Affection leads to greater happiness, stability and longevity in the relationship. In fact, affection is critical where couples come
together to build greater intimacy. Feeling love toward your partner is not enough, it needs to be expressed physically and shown to your partner through touch.
Humans need touch. Without touch our cortisol levels can rise. Touch releases oxytocin, the feel good hormones in the body. Whether it is a kiss, a hand squeeze or a hug, everyone needs to be touched. Even getting a massage will relax the body, relieve pain and amp up your immune system.
Taking care of your tactile needs when you live alone can be done through a massage kiosk at the mall. A massage will lower blood pressure, muscles to unclench, a racing heart to slow and stress hormones, like cortisol to drop. The mall massage is safe, comfortable and a great value. If you are not being touched, a massage on a regular basis can keep stress to a minimum and fulfill your need for touch.
A rescue hug
Inside the womb we are cuddled, tight and warm. We hear our mother’s heartbeat and parent’s voices. Once we are removed from this safe warm environment, our need for touch and cuddling does not diminish – even with age. Those who are elderly often become rigid and closed because their need for touch is not met. When we do reach out to
hug, we feel the stiffness rather than the melding of two bodies together. A gentle hand squeeze when we see our elderly parents and active listening can express the love that you feel for them.
Even elderly animals have a tendency to jump when we touch them because we are not giving them the attention we once did. Remembering that even as we get
older and are not as cute as we once were, we still need to be loved, appreciated and cuddled.
Love is not an emotion as one might think. Real love is not affected by change, movement or growth. Real love does not depend on what you can get out of a relationship or games played with other’s souls. Shared interests, hobbies or experiences are wonderful, but they are not what love is. Love is eternal, crossing the barriers of time and even death. Love is not attachment, addiction or dependency. Love is unmovable even with anger, hatred, grief, shame or sadness.
Love is an energy that can be experienced alone. Love is constant and is not restricted to romantic relationships. It can be felt in the hug of a child, your beloved pet leaning on your arm while you type on your computer. Love can be experienced when out in nature. Love is constant and all around you. Self love does not happen overnight. It is a process of letting go of
fear, control, manipulation and judgment. When we judge others, we judge ourselves. In my process of healing my life, and coming into complete self acceptance I became enlightened. It is the fastest way to end suffering. Whether you are wanting to be more successful in business, relationship or just live a happy life, self love is the key to living in joy for the rest of your days. If you are interested in finding out more about my work or your soul’s purpose, having your emotional baggage released, e-mail me and we can set up a discovery session or a clearing. Living with depression, anxiety, fears, emptiness or loneliness? All of those are temporary and can be released in the work I do. E-mail me your questions or concerns or take a courageous step forward towards love.
Testimonial From A Coaching Client 12/14
I met Jennifer at one of her workshops that a friend recommended to me. At that time I was searching, and wanting some help out of my deep depression and anxiety. Keeping in touch, I joined her on line workshops, and eventually her coaching once a week.
One of my earliest coaching sessions with Jennifer, I felt complete trust, like I have never felt with anyone in my ENTIRE LIFE. I told her my deepest darkest secrets, and she welcomed me into her loving space. For this, I will never ever forget, and will be eternally grateful.
She allowed me to be where I was, no rescue, no high expectation – no pat advice that I have heard over and over – not landing anywhere in me that could really grow.
Her advice was simple and doable, small steps to move forward – with kindness, and no judgment allowed me to open up. The meditations helped me see my guides and myself in a new light.
As I grew in compassion and respect for myself as a result from the coaching sessions, vast changes in me occurred.I feel happier, more peaceful, more truly loving now. In both my professional life and personal life, the changes though subtle, were highly significant: I easily am present with people and they sense this. If nothing else occurs, I feel that this is a huge gift, to be able to connect with people so that they feel heard and significant. N.A., Atlanta, GA