Ways We Self Sabotage Our Love Lives

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

When our hearts are broken we say things that create more pain and torture for ourselves. It is easy to blame others for the past. When we continue to believe that things will never change, we are correct. Whatever we believe, we create. Situations will be magnetized to us, for the thoughts that we think as well as the feelings and beliefs that we have. Life, is always working FOR us, rather than against us. Repeating statements that are negative set those negative beliefs in stone. There are ways to change what we think, and believe. We have the ability to move out of these patterns of self torture and self sabotage. 

Take The Leap 

When we constantly put ourselves down, critiquing every thing we do, we create more intense suffering! Make the decision to negate the negative thoughts, replacing them with positive ones instead. Have faith in you! Know that you are already an infinite expression of LOVE. 

It does not serve you to beat yourself up. It only makes you feel bad. You have the choice. Stay the negative course, thinking negatively, or DECIDE to change your thoughts and begin making positive steps toward self love and acceptance. Below are real statements that I have heard people say about themselves, their relationships, and beliefs. These statements are usually spoken with vehemence + emotion = creation! Knowing that we create with our thoughts, and emotions, these will disempower, creating more negative events.

Stop telling yourself the following: 

  1. I won’t ever love another.
  2. I don’t want anybody else.
  3. I won’t ever have love!
  4. I have never had a relationship and I won’t ever have one!
  5. I’m too old for anyone to see a future with me now!
  6. You were my last shot at love, nobody is going to want some broken old man!
  7. I am the worst human ever! I can’t go home again. 
  8. No one wants me.
  9. I am just not good enough for love.
  10. I will always be alone.
  11. I am destined to be alone forever.
  12. I am too ______ for anyone to want me.

All these statements above, keep us stuck in a paradigm of negativity and suffering.

Life doesn’t have to be so hard. We make it difficult by thinking self condemning thoughts about ourselves and others. If we are critical of others, we are critical of ourselves. 

I remember when I felt so bad about myself, that all my thoughts were negative. When I was feeling negative, it was hard to rise up and speak positive things over myself and my life. I remember when I used to compare myself to others. Comparing made me feel less intelligent, attractive and made me feel very unhappy. I don’t do that anymore. I no longer focus on what others think of me. What others think of us, is none of our business. When we compare ourselves to others, we feel less than them. Comparing ourselves to others makes us feel broken, unworthy and inadequate. 

You are unique and different. There is no one else on this planet that looks like you. There is no one on this planet that has your talents, gifts or abilities. There is no one else on this planet that has your life

experience. There is only one you. You are perfect and unique the way you are. Remember to think of yourself as a unique expression of The Divine. There are no mistakes and no errors. How we look at ourselves, is up to us. 

Below are ways to get beyond the past, heal and begin to create positive scripts for yourself, your life and to attract love in. Repeat these statements over and over, it will help you move beyond the deep grooves that have been cut into your brain. New programming needs to come in to overwrite these negative programs. Say these positive affirmations out loud as soon as you awake. Say them again before you go to sleep. This way they will access your unconscious mind.

Positive Affirmations
  1. I am lovable.
  2. I have a purpose here on earth.
  3. I am worthy of love.

  4. I am a beautiful human being.
  5. I am beautiful inside and out.
  6. I am lovable.
  7. I am loving and supportive of myself and my life.
  8. I know that love will come to me when I truly love and accept myself, completely.
  9. I am loving and kind.
  10. I am perfect as I am.
  11. I am a beautiful child of God.
  12. God does not create junk. Therefore I am beautiful.
  13. God does not make mistakes.
  14. I am perfect as I am.
  15. I feel myself filling with light and love as I speak these statements.
  16. I am love.
  17. I am light.
  18. I am love itself.
  19. I am worthy of a loving relationship.
  20. I love and approve of myself.
  21. I am perfect as I am.
  22. I am worth my own time and energy.
  23. I deserve my loving kindness.
  24. I am intelligent.
  25. I am talented.
  26. I am creative.
  27. I am kind.
  28. I am here for a purpose.
  29. The more loving kindness I speak over myself, the more positive I feel.
  30. I choose to love myself unconditionally beginning right now!
Our brain is like a computer. The unconscious has no sense of humor and believes what we tell it. Therefore it is important to only say positive, loving, kind life affirming statements to ourselves. The more loving we become with ourselves, the more open to receiving love we become. We can reprogram our unconscious

mind. Repeating these positive statements when our mind is in neutral allows them to slip past the gatekeeper of the unconscious mind. Our mind is in neutral when we are doing things automatically, like peeling or chopping vegetables, showering, putting on makeup, shaving or driving.

What people are saying about Jennifer:

I met Jennifer at one of her workshops that a friend recommended to me.  At that time I was searching, and wanting some help out of my deep depression and anxiety.
Keeping in touch, I joined her on line workshops, and eventually her coaching once a week.

One of my earliest coaching sessions with Jennifer, I felt complete trust, like I have never felt with anyone in my ENTIRE LIFE.  I told her my deepest darkest secrets, and she welcomed me into her loving space.  For this, I will never ever forget, and will be eternally grateful.    

She allowed me to be where I was, no rescue, no high expectation – no pat advice that I have heard over and over – not landing anywhere in me that could really grow.

Her advice was simple and doable, small steps to move forward – with kindness, and no judgment allowed me to open up.

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The meditations helped me see my guides and myself in a new light.  

As I grew in compassion and respect for myself as a result from the coaching sessions, vast changes in me occurred.I feel happier, more peaceful, more truly loving now.
In both my professional life and personal life, the changes though subtle, were highly significant:  I easily am present with people and they sense this.  If nothing else occurs, I feel that this is a huge gift, to be able to connect with people so that they feel heard and significant. N.A., Atlanta, GA

Contact Jennifer now for questions, or to set up an appointment. 

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