How To Turn On A Woman

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Women think differently than men. They are wired very differently than men. They are also turned on very differently than men. If women are angry with their partner, getting them

into the bedroom can be difficult. If you have pissed her off and want sex, for increased success, you might want to make amends first. A heart-felt apology can be the shoe in. 

Generally women have so many tasks on their mind, that sex takes a back seat. Most women are not motivated by sex. Women need to have the dishes done, the laundry completed, the house tidy and the kids in bed. Sex begins in the mind. If our mind is elsewhere worrying about what has not been completed, getting her body to respond to your advances can be challenging. 

Married Women

Married women are a different kettle of fish. We might have been willing and able to be turned on easily before marriage, social commitments, household tasks and children. After marriage and children, our focus changes. Rather than focusing on a partner,

most women are now focusing, care-taking pets, children and the entire household. Distractions due to stress, work, pressures all take their toll on both parties. Where men can use sex as a stress relief, women are the opposite. Many see sex as another task that needs to be completed. Why?

Women are not usually turned on just by seeing a naked man. They may be able to appreciate a beautiful body, but women need to be appreciated, told they are beautiful, appreciated and understood. Women are slow to warm up. If you rush directly to the target – the vagina you might get your hand slapped or worse, kicked out of bed!

Sex begins in the mind for a woman. Most women need to feel good, clean, sexy, attractive and beautiful. If she doesn’t feel good about her body, she might not want you to see her naked. If you want sex in the evening, begin in the morning with a note, a hug, or a heart-felt complement. Appreciate her, romance her, listen to what she has to say. Make her laugh, understand her. Men who understand the way a woman thinks will have much more success. 


The biggest issue for women is focus. If they have something else on their mind, sex may be next to impossible. If you can help take some of the pressure off by taking care of the children, or other tasks, you might have more success. Women need to have a calm mind. Women want to feel loved, respected and trust their partners to be turned on. 

  1. Tell her she is beautiful. Tell her she smells great! This is one of the single most forgotten phrase for a woman. We love to be told we look beautiful. I had an orgasm from a man telling me this over and over. If you are not telling your woman how wonderful she is, how great she looks and how beautiful she is, you are missing a very important part of getting her aroused. Appreciation for both men and women is a great turn on! We all want to be loved and appreciated!
  2. Kiss her. Long-term relationships often become hum drum. Kissing falls by the wayside. Kissing can turn on both sexes in amazing ways. Cup your hand around her cheek and kiss her with your hand on her face. Whisper her name. Take your time. Use your lips only first. Don’t slobber all over her with a wet tongue. Wait to use your tongue until she is coming towards you. Hold her while you kiss her. 
  3. Romance her. Candles, soft music and gentle scents can enhance any one’s sexual experience. Setting the mood for sex can give your lovemaking an exceptional feel. Music can change both of your moods. Select sexy music from Barry White, to Al Greene, even classical music can be amazing – depending on your selection. 
  4. Change it UP! Adventures, camping trips, vacations can be the greatest way to shift a sexual relationship. Getting away from household chores, phones, television and routine can shift you both. Staying at home, having sex in the same room, same position and at the same time could lead any relationship into the doldrums.
  5. Use your imagination! Think like a woman. Women prefer a slow build and being turned on first before penetration. Make sure you have given her what she needs (20-40 minutes of stimulation to get to an orgasm). 
  6. Find out what she likes. Take it slow, read a sexy book together, or watch a movie that has erotica in it together to open up your horizons. I am not an advocate of pornography as it creates a gap between reality and fantasy. Women are not like the ones in the porno movies. You may wish they were, but they are not. 
Author’s note: I really pissed off a man on Linked In who said I was hateful towards men. I love men. I also love orgasms! Most men I have been with didn’t know what to do to get a woman aroused enough to orgasm. If both sexes make love to our partners the way they want to be everyone will be happier. We can both get what we want in this way.

The women I have interviewed agree. If this article makes you angry perhaps I am triggering you because I hit a nerve. Everyone wants better sex. We all have to do a better job making sex an important rather than cursory event that we gloss over like robots stuck in a rut. Most people are not happy with their sex lives. There is a reason for this. We aren’t talking about what we need, want, or what feels best. Start a conversation today! Make sex and love-making a priority and increase your pleasure. Have some fun with sex. Be loving and kind outside of the bedroom. Appreciate each other. Remember what it was you fell in love with. Joy is in the middle of making love, communing of souls on a deeper level. Making love needs to be sacred, slow and reverent, rather than a heated rush for the big “O!”

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is a love and passion coach. Her books are available on Her radio show ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE on BBM Global is launching! If you have enjoyed this article, share it with a friend. Or perhaps you have a question you would like answered on the air, your name

mentioned. Send Jennifer an e-mail here for questions or to set up your free discovery session to find out if Jennifer’s work is a good fit for you. Jennifer’s focus is self love, the cornerstone for all healing. Most people have some sort of trauma from childhood that triggers issues in adulthood. Now is as good a time as any! Send Jennifer an e-mail now!

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