What Girls Want

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Many women aren’t talking about their dissatisfaction with sex because they don’t want to burst their partner’s bubbles. I know I didn’t. The men I have had sex with seemed compelled to race to the finish line, leaving me wondering what the hell happened? Where is my orgasm? 83% or women are not having orgasms.


When I finally got up the nerve to say something to my husband he was furious with me. His rage kept me in silence. Needless to say, that was our last conversation about sex. The biggest issues in

relationships today are sex and money. My assertion is that when our root chakra is balanced and open, you will find that your issues with money and wealth also begin to vanish. In this article, I will share women’s most private thoughts with me, their requests that they wish their men would just “GET.” 


  1. Stimulate her mind. Women need more than a stiff penis to have a good time. They need to be revered, appreciated and romanced. They need to have their mind turned on. Anticipating a kiss on her neck, the small of her back, can do a lot for a woman. Women get turned on differently than a man. When a woman’s mind is on the house cleaning, children, pets, laundry or the blog they haven’t written, it is difficult to turn off all the racing thoughts. When our minds are filled with thoughts, there is little room for arousal and sex. Give her the time to become fully aroused before you jump on her.
  2. Keep your clothes on! Yup! Women love to be aroused slowly, given time to be turned on. When the clothes come off quickly and you are ready to “ride ’em cowboy” you may be the only one having the fun – guys. Take time to give her the time to anticipate what is to come. Kiss her neck, run your hands down her back, tease her by barely touching her backside, inner thighs and kiss her hands. Kiss her shoulders, knees, backs of the thighs. Wait to make contact with a nipple or clitoris, until she is so excited for you to touch her there that she can’t wait. Allow the sexual tension to build slowly.
  3. With panties on, tease her with a gentle finger just inside the elastic. Brush by her clitoris, listen to her gasp of breath. Allow your touch to tease, excite and arouse her before you begin to stimulate her with a bite to the nipple, or a finger inside the vagina. Remember women are like diesel engines, slow to

    warm up. They need time to adjust to the idea of sex. There mere thought of a pulsing penis doesn’t usually turn on a woman. You have to get her there.  Kiss her through her panties, breathing through them barely, touching her with your breath. 

  4. Massage her tease her, kiss her: hands, arms, ears, feet, toes,

    kiss them.  A woman’s erogenous zones are different than a man’s. See the diagram for the sensitive zones that can turn her on. 

  5. Multi-task! Most women need to be stimulated in multiple places at the same time to become aroused and have an orgasm. Why should you care? If you don’t give her what she needs she will stop caring about sex at all. Which is why I wrote Orgasm For Life. Spend time on her areola, around the nipple, caressing, stimulate her nipple and clitoris at the same time. When you begin to insert a lubricated finger inside her vagina, giver her clitoris some attention at the same time. Most women need to be stimulated in several places at once to orgasm. You can do it! Get creative! Think, “hanging wallpaper.”
  6. Slow down! The best sex is slow sex. Men can last longer. Women can have orgasms when they have the time to be stimulated enough. 
  7. Find her clitoris. The clitoris is the woman’s answer to the male penis. The clitoris has twice, (count ’em) TWICE the number of nerve endings as the penis does. If you aren’t stimulating her to orgasm find her clitoris. This sensitive area at 1:00 looking upwards toward her navel is an exquisitely senstive area. Using a soft pressure and concentric circles, ask what feels best, or have her show you. A tongue can stimulate the clitoris as well. Give her the time she needs. Don’t rush, or tell her to come (I had someone demand I come – I have to say it ended our interaction suddenly with a drop of arousal to zero.)
Remember most women need 20 – 40 minutes of stimulation, (kissing, fingering, oral, g-spot stimulation) to be aroused enough for an orgasm. If you are only spending two minutes on fore-play

you aren’t giving her what she needs. Just because a women is wet, does not mean she is turned on enough for penetration. 75% of women do not orgasm through penetration alone, yet men are continuing to have sex with women in this way. Many women can orgasm more easily when on top. The great thing about this position is that women can maneuver, while their man lies still. When a man has less movement, less speed, he is more able to control his ejaculation and time his climax to when she is coming.

G-Spot is inside the vagina on the upper wall towards the navel

Men prefer direct stimulation on their testicles, pulling, prodding, grabbing sucking and they would be perfectly happy with just that. However both sexes can benefit from whole body stimulation, kissing, touch, different speeds, pressures, blowing, teasing with a feather. Sex is an art form, not a speed sport. Faster does not mean better. In fact, most women would tell you that slow is what they want. When she begins to get turned on, don’t stop, keep it up! Put a blind fold on her and get your feather out. Changing things up may be just what the doctor ordered!

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is a love and passion coach. Her books are available on Amazon.com. Her new book, Happy Here Happy Anywhere is coming out soon! 

If you have enjoyed this article, share it with a friend. Or perhaps you have a question you would like answered. Send Jennifer an e-mail here for questions or to set up your free discovery session to find out if Jennifer’s work is a good fit for you. Jennifer’s focus is self love, the cornerstone for all healing. Most people have some sort of trauma from childhood that triggers issues in adulthood. Now is as good a time as any! E-mail Jennifer.

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