I have been lovingly nudged by one of my avid readers to write more posts for men. Not only will I promise to deliver on this request, but I also have a radio show dedicated to you tonight. I promise you can leave your baseball bat in your trunk, but still bring your woody. Getting what you want, will not require torture, leg-pulling or other manipulation.
Women have misunderstood men, as sure as the reverse is true. We want men to bring home the bacon, make us feel safe, secure, but that is only the beginning. Most women have other expectations of their men. They want a man who can cook, listen, take care of our children, cuddle with us, do housework and still be hard strong and sexy when they want you.
For some men, waiting for an opening to have sex with their partner might mean endless months of rejection. After years without loving tenderness, these men have turned to regular massages from strangers instead of sex and maybe have low self- esteem. Since our sexuality is the core of who we are, not having sex, can make us feel unloved, unwanted and even abused.
Unless there is a physical challenge that makes sex impossible, not having sex with your marriage partner is abusive.
Men Can Multi-Task
Most men can have sex while stressed, three projects on the go at work, laundry whirling in the dryer, and the sprinklers running, their female counterparts are not so adept at multi-tasking while focusing on sex. Understanding that our wiring is entirely different can save both parties frustration, anger and rejection.
I have spoken to countless men who have experienced dry marriages of 30 or 40 years, faithful, but without sex. These men feel rejected, unloved and often depressed about their marriage, which is understandable. Can you imagine being married to someone for 40 years that didn’t want to have sex with you. I couldn’t and didn’t.
When my last husband refused sex with me on an on-going basis, I gave him a choice. “Are you in or out? If you are in, you and I will have a loving relationship.” It turned out he preferred his sex to mine. Like with Caitlyn Jenner, some people come out later in life. Keeping a deep secret such as being attracted to the same sex from your spouse is problematic. You can’t hide it forever.
Women Who Don’t Like Sex
Saying you hate sex, is the same as saying “I hate myself.” Our sexuality is the core of who we are. If you hate sex, you hate yourself. I have encountered those who have had multiple lifetimes in a religious capacity and find sex shameful. This can be cleared.
Women who reject sex often look like this
Where there is a will there is a way. If you don’t care enough about your spouse to have sex with them, why did you marry them in the first place? Sex is a part of a loving relationship.
I have spoken to a few of these women who say, their husband is happy. I doubt that very much. They have even gone on further to tell me, they would be okay if he had an affair, but they doubt that he would. This is classic denial, not the River Nile, but the kind where you stick your head deeply into the sand without caring to see the truth.
We Have A Choice
Having a loving connected relationship is preferable. However, many people have issues that they continue to suppress rather than deal with in their relationship. These issues become a mountain of resistance and separation between you. You have to talk about your issues for them to be resolved. Communication is imperative for a healthy relationship to thrive and grow. Grow? Absolutely! If you aren’t growing together, you are growing apart.
If You Are In A Sexless Relationship:
You have got to have a conversation, one that doesn’t end in anger. If anger is her go-to emotion, she is being passive aggressive to deflect the conversation. I have to say, that the person not having sex could also be male. The same holds true for men who won’t have sex with their women. We have to talk about it. Ask questions. Use words like, I feel…. rather than “you make me feel.”
Sex Is Fun
Men will be so much happier when we relax and have fun with them. Sex doesn’t have to be a duty. It is a pleasure. How do you make it so? Listen to my radio show and keep reading here. The point being, women need to receive pleasure. If they have been doing the giving and not receiving, there could be resentment from her, which I have to admit I have felt myself. If only one person is on the receiving end of the pleasure meter, the one not receiving pleasure will shut the door sooner or later.
My guest tonight is author Nelson John who has written a series of 4 books, What Men Want. These books are short, inexpensive and great guidance for women and men. You won’t want to miss this show. Next week author Paul Joannides of The Guide To Getting It On is my guest next week.
Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is a catalyst love and passion coach and energy healer. She is a coach unlike any other, as she uses her intuitive abilities as an empath, so that she feels what you are experiencing, she opens your Akashic Records, which is healing in itself and has six modalities that she works with for your organic experience. Every coaching session is different, because you are unique. Contact Jennifer for your free discovery session here.