Have you ever noticed how two people can have the same experience, but their enjoyment of the same thing is completely different? Why is that?
Life is a series of experiences tied together with sensations and feelings. Some people complain, where others enjoy. The way we view our world changes how much pleasure or pain we have. Yesterday, I gave a friend a Magnum ice cream bar. We each ate the same thing together. While I ate
my chocolate covered rich ice cream slowly, savoring the deliciousness of it, enjoying eat and every bite, he devoured his quickly and the moment was gone. I was surprised when he said, “Well that was tasty!” I was only half through mine when he was throwing away his wrapper.
I grew up with three brothers. At dinner, my oldest brothers would load up their plates with great heaps of potatoes, meat with all the fixings, then wolf down their food. Everyone else would eat a normal sized serving. Beginning at the same time, my brother’s would be finished before everyone else. It seems as if they barely tasted the food, and they are always hungry. I find this very interesting. Most obese people eat fast and don’t feel full. They are always wanting more. The satisfaction that others feel is missing.
It’s The Small Things
Finding pleasure in small things rather than looking for the big payout, like winning the lottery leaves people wanting. How many people actually win the lottery? When lottery winners do win, they spend their money quickly then are often more miserable after winning. A study was done comparing lottery winners to those who had terrible accidents, lost limbs or became paraplegics. Within six months of losing the use of their whole body, paraplegics had overcome the sadness and depression and were living lives that were productive. The lottery winners, however, often died, were depressed and had more issues after their winning then they did before.
What is interesting to note, my oldest brother who has a beautiful home, is now retired with a great income is still looking to win the lottery. He thinks he will be happy when he does. He isn’t happy living where he lives. He thinks if he moves he will be. If he does move, he will feel the same dissatisfaction because he is the same person. He will show up in his new place feeling just as unhappy as he is now, with his life.
I live a much simpler life, don’t experience longing and am very happy with what I have. I live in the moment, grateful for what I have. If I won the lottery or have millions, the first thing I will do is give it to those who need it. I know that things are not where I find joy, happiness or pleasure.
1. Slow down. When we slow down to enjoy what we are experiencing, savoring the tastes, images or events, look around notice, breathing in we are present in the moment. When we are present in each moment, rather than looking over our shoulder at what just happened or worry about what will happen in the future, we experience greater pleasure and happiness. Rushing through life we miss the good, hurry through pleasure then the moment is gone. Slowing down our breathing helps us to be grounded in the present.
2. Feel. Life offers us so many wonderful ways to sense. We hear, see, touch, smell and taste the moment. When we are not grounded in our body we might barely experience these incredible sensations.
When we are numb, out of our bodies or afraid to feel our emotions we often miss the moment. Sometimes, our past experiences teach us mistrust, fear, and pain. When we dwell on those experiences we can’t move beyond them. Rather than trying to run away from our feelings, we need to feel them fully. What is the emotion of sadness going to do to you? If you stop and allow yourself to feel the feelings fully, they will pass through you. You will get to the other side. When you avoid feeling you will miss the good.
Letting go of the old story, healing and forgiving yourself and others allows you to move beyond the hurt, pain, and suffering. When we fight or resist we prevent healing from happening.
3. Enjoy. When we look for the pleasure, pleasure is what we will find. When we complain all we see and feel is the negative. Most people rush through their morning, getting out the door in a rush. They don’t stop to sit with their animals, meditate before leaving for work and find their life is over before they know it. Life is what we think. If we think of negative experiences, negative experiences is what we draw to us. When we focus on the good, more good is what we draw in.
No matter what we have, being grateful for it, those who love you, the job you have, your children, partner, spouse, animals, health, the more joy you will experience in the moment.
When we rush through a pleasurable experience like sex, it is over in minutes. It leaves us wanting more. We may never feel satisfied with anything when we rush through it. Slow down. Spend time looking into your lovers’ eyes. Touch their face, kiss their mouth. Become the sensual provocateur. Tease, ignite, and intensify the pleasure by heightening your experience, take your pleasure up another notch. Instead of moving into penetrative sex, heighten your excitement by kissing your partner all over their body. Make love-making a marathon instead of a sprint.
Instead of rushing through your meals, conversations or experiences, take the time to savor the
moment and get the most pleasure out of your life. You will be so much happier as a result. Enjoy each moment. Breathe. Slow down and take in the small things. Notice the hummingbird, the flowers, smell the roses. When you do, your life will become pleasure filled rather than pain filled.
I would love to hear about your experience. What did you think about this article? Where do you find pleasure. Please join me on FaceBook. Your thoughts are important to me. If you enjoyed this article, share it with a friend. Sharing is caring.
Much Love to you,
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