Sex Addiction: The Courage To Love

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Anxiety, shame,  guilt, remorse are all feelings that surface with sex addiction. Hours are lost, relationships broken and lives slip away. Sex is the drug of choice. Any type of addiction is due to rejection of the self with self hatred figuring prominently. Sex addicts believe they are in control of their life, when they are not. No one wants to be a sex addict. There is help and light at the end of the tunnel.  


Don’t feel this applies to you? Teens are becoming addicted to porn on the Internet. This is a serious issue. 

Tonight on Sex As Medicine with Devi Ward we jointly interview Paul Ginocchio, creator of the movie, “The Courage To Love.” Paul’s movie details the lives of four individuals who suffered from sex addiction and their stories of recovery.
There are consequences to sex addiction. Acting out can ruin relationships, cause depression and disconnection from the self, and those you love.
Addicted To Own Endorphins
Whether it is pornography, masturbation, or sex with others, sex addiction is an addiction to our own endorphins. Like a drug addict, a trance-like state is reached where nothing matters but getting needs met. Without help, sex addiction can lead to arrests, broken relationships and lost years. Cruising, looking for “Heroine in high heels,” was Paul’s experience.
Like An Eating Disorder
Jay Parker who was arrested finally for exposing himself to two girls, lost his job as a basketball scout, his marriage and his friends. He compared sex addiction to an eating disorder. We have to eat, it is part of life. Sex is a natural part of life. Sex addiction is a distortion, a natural urge twisted into an illness that drives you.
An emotional numbness occurs where there is a lack of heart-connection. There is nothing joyful in sex addiction. Instead it is empty, looking to fill the void from childhood. 
Sweaty palms, hunched over and the anxiety that follows are not good feelings. The feelings of guilt, shame and darkness that surrounds sex addiction creates depression and a sense of hopelessness.

Fear of Intimacy

There may be lots of sex happening, but there is no connection. No real intimacy can exist when you are an addict. People who are addicted to sex cannot allow anyone to see their true self. They are too afraid to let anyone see the darkness that lies beneath the surface. 

Is it possible to masturbate too much? The answer is YES! If you are masturbating several times a day, you are addicted to sex.
In my personal experience sexual trauma was the cause. In over 80% of sex addiction cases, sexual trauma took place in childhood. A lack of validation from parents creates a deep void or emptiness that can’t be filled. An endless desire for more, drives the sex addict. 
Available on

Recovery from addiction is possible. It is far easier to find fault with others than to see our issues. Honesty, vulnerability and awareness are parts of recovery. When we are in our addiction we can’t see that we need help. Self acceptance and self love is the answer. It takes courage to get help. If you are looking for help for your sex addiction or that of a loved one, listen to the show tonight. The movie, The Courage To Love is available for purchase. I watched it twice. It is poignant, and eye-opening.

Our self-esteem takes a beating when we are addicts. I know I was there once. Co-dependency is the need to be in a relationship to feel whole is an addiction. We have a tendency to look at others and say, “I don’t have that issue.” Compassion, understanding, and love

is the key to getting help and helping a loved one who is addicted. The search for love is what I help others with. If you are looking for love and not finding it, I can help. It begins with you. Visit my website here.

Much Love,

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