I love women. I can appreciate beauty in another. I admire a beautiful body, jacket or handbag. I tell women that they are beautiful when I meet them. I didn’t always feel this way about other women. I have been on the receiving end of criticism, jealousy and rancor from women. We begin to truly appreciate others when we accept ourselves as we are. Until we do, we might feel jealous, or less than other women.
Women are powerhouses. Women give life, feed, care for and lovingly nurture children, pets, husbands and all manner of critters our progeny bring home. We create homes out of houses. Women keep households running. They take care of the sick, heal, bathe, clean and keep the laundry up to date.
Don’t get me wrong, women can be bitches. We can be viciously jealous of others, complain, nag and strive for perfection. We say no when we mean yes then wonder why we didn’t say yes afterward. Women are difficult to understand. In fact, for the opposite sex we can be confounding. When upset or angered most women can castrate their men with a piercing look or a simple word. Yes, we can be bitches. But do we have to be?
Power Through Softness
I maintain that women opt for bitchiness because it is scary. We tend to appear more powerful when we are bitching. Often our bitchiness moves mountains. Most men would rather get the job done, than endure another moment of scathing looks or words. Scaring our offspring and lovers does not endear us. In fact, bitchiness can make our men run for the hills, or softer, more nurturing pastures.
There is another way to get our point across or the job done. A smiling face and welcoming hug are certainly more appealing than our arms crossed across our bosom as if to say, “No one shall enter here!”
I know what it feels like to be or act like a bitch. I used to be one. My emotions were out of control. The only female role model I had been imprinted by was my mother. I witnessed her wrath on many occasions. Nagging was a way of life. We all tuned her out. Silence was my mother’s go-to punishment for my father. I am not sure whether he preferred the silent treatment over her bitching wrath? I do know he found a way to tune her out. He found a hobby that kept him busy for hours. His hobby was one that involved winemaking, tasting and bottling. For years, my father retired to the basement where he stirred, watched, sniffed, filtered and tasted his fine wines. Alcohol was his way of avoiding my mother. It soothed his soul, mind and calmed his nerves. It also pissed our matriarch off.
Our negative behavior or unbridled anger only pushes our partners away. Anger is a way of showing disapproval without really conversing about the subject where we object. Anger is avoidance of the truth or emotions. Anger is the only emotion that most of us can experience or express, due to our family of origin. New behaviors must be adopted and learned to move beyond avoidance, bitching and nagging.
Why then do we continue to act in this way, if it doesn’t work? What are other ways of getting our brood to hear us and do our bidding? It is what we want, right? What most of us want is to have others do what we want.
Manipulation As A Maneuver
Getting another to perform a task or do what we want is manipulation. Giving sex as a reward for household chores or duties provided makes sex transactional. We become little more than married prostitutes when we use sex to get what we want.
Over the next few weeks, I will explore a variety of communication styles and the results you can hope to receive. No one wants to be called a bitch. So why would we act like one?
To be continued….
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