Secrets eat away at over 17 million American men every day. One in sex men has a deep secret that never goes away no matter how hard they try. These men have kept the fact that they were molested by a priest, Boy Scout leader, parent or other person of authority. Most men don’t report their abuser and rarely seek the help that they need.
Having been molested myself, I know how negatively we are affected by molestation. Molestation occurs when a person six years older or more encourages, or forces a child to participate in fondling, touching of genitals. Penetration need not occur for serious damage to the pshyche to occur. For those who are married to someone who has been molested there are signs to look for. I have experienced this also, I have the utmost compassion for those who have been molested. Please know I am here to help. Healing these issues can save your marriage.
Signs Of Molestation:
Bonds quickly and then pulls away for no apparent reason.
May reject sex and intimacy later on in the relationship seemingly for no reason.
Fear of intimacy.
Low self-esteem. Feels inadequate and lowly.
Guilt or shame ridden.
Anger that comes out of nowhere.
May be hypervigilant of your children.
Hypermasculine. Into every sport imaginable to prove their masculinity.
Turning off emotion.
Has difficulty expressing vulnerability
Sex may be completely void of emotion or closeness.
Most men do not seek help because it means that they have to admit that they were coerced or forced to do something. It seems weak and unmanly. However, as children especially if we were raised to listen to our elders, we capitulate easily to a person in a position of authority. Fear is a large part of how children were manipulated into molestation. Threats of hurting a siblig or parent are often present.
The first step is to get some help. Keeping these secrets hidden continues to threaten your emotional and physical health and any long-term relationship you are in. People that have been molested often distance themselves from the person closest to them through anger or rejection of sexual and emotional intimacy.
What Can You Do Now?
Read my book; Odyssey Victim To Victory. This book details my journey from secrets and feeling inadequate, depressed and shut down, to no longer having the past define me. Visit my website and read about me.
Set up a discovery session with me to find out if my work is a good fit for you. Healing begins with your willingness to move forward and heal the past. Pain is what drove me to seek help. When your inner pain stops you from having joy, happiness and deep love in your life, you will want to begin to heal. Ignoring these issues does not make them go away. It only keeps intimacy, closeness and real love from your life. I do hope you will get the help that you so deserve.