How To Increase Your Self-Love Quotient For Greater Happiness”

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

You’ve heard it from me, Deepak, Louise Hay, Oprah and countless others. Self-love is the key to a fulfilled and happy life. 


It’s not better sex, it’s not a faster or prettier car, and it certainly isn’t a relationship that will bring you lasting happiness if you aren’t happy with you. To this end, I will share with you what I did to go from batshit crazy, negative and depressed to completely blissfully happy no matter what!

1. Get To Know Yourself. Most people don’t know themselves well. We spend time getting to know a new boyfriend or girlfriend, but don’t focus on what makes us tick, what makes us happy and what we want in our lives. When we begin to focus on what we love about ourselves, what we love to do and what we are passionate about, our path becomes much clearer. 
2. Live Mindfully. Mindful practice brings you into the present moment. Breathing deeply and focusing on what is happening right now will help you to enjoy what is in front of you. I see mothers on their cell phones with babies ignored in grocery carts or strollers crying. If you are with your child, be present with your child. If you are with your family, be present with them. Put cell phones away and turn off the freaking television.  
3. Just Say NO! Don’t be afraid to tell someone that you can’t pick their kids up, or water their plants for three weeks while they are in Europe visiting The Queen. When we don’t have great self-esteem, we tend to say yes far too often accepting shitty projects and jobs that we don’t want just so that people will like us. Face it; not everyone is going to love you or what you say. If you don’t want to do something say NO! You will have more energy for yourself and the things you love.
4. Do Things You Love Daily. If you love to be outside in nature, take a walk every day. Make it part of your routine, no matter what. Get up an hour earlier to take your walk before your kids wake up. Or combine your walk with your dog duties. We spend entirely too much time doing what we don’t love. Instead, make doing what you love a priority. (Of course, after you do your day job and take care of responsibilities). 
5. Practice Self Care. We take care of others first when we want to be loved. When you love yourself, enough you recognize that no one else will take care of your needs. If you have children, what will happen to them if you fall apart, get sick, or worse? Your rest, solitude, and downtime is important. Make sure you get to bed before 11:00 PM, eat properly and get exercise. These are all part of self-care. For those of you out there that forget to pee all day, that is not taking care of your needs. Stop and pee! Take care of yourself, lovingly.
6. Focus On Your Needs Rather Than Wants. I remember taking myself shopping when I felt bad, spending too much money and then being in debt because I felt I DESERVED to buy something new for myself. Refer to number 3. Needs first. What you want probably isn’t going to matter in five days. In fact, wait five days and see if you still have the burning desire for that thing. 

You probably won’t even think about it after five days. Ice cream is something you might want, but don’t need. A new dress is something you might want, but don’t need. A thing won’t fill a void within you. Rationalizing that you deserve something that is going to have a huge cost to it and probably a negative effect as well. Meditate instead. 
7. Guard Your Personal Space And Time. It is better to have real friends that support you rather than drain you. If you have few good friends, you are far better off than having a crowd of people who take advantage or drain your energy. We have all had people drain us financially and also energetically. Your energy is precious. People who share in your successes and support you when things are going well are true friends. Those who are delighted when you fail are those you want to avoid.

8. Have A Daily Spiritual Practice. Gratitude, Forgiveness, Prayer, and Meditation are all things that I began to practice daily. When I did, I felt supported, loved and unafraid. A Daily Spiritual Practice fills the void inside of you; it connects you with Spirit, The Universe and The Love of The Divine (a higher power). A spiritual connection is imperative for deep inner peace and fulfillment.

9. Live With Purpose and Design. What do you want your legacy to be? How do you want to be remembered? When I began to do service work – even in landscaping, I felt like I was making a difference. You don’t have to be a healer to make a difference in

this world. Think about what makes your heart sing, write down a list of those things.

Maybe you only have one or two activities that make you feel fulfilled, how can you make those activities part of your daily life? When you begin to live your life with purpose, you feel you are giving back in some way. Maybe your purpose right now is to raise your children to be healthy, confident and active participating adults. Raising children is a noble purpose. There is no greater gift to the world than to raise purpose-filled, confident adults.

10. Be True To Your Word. Though this item is listed tenth, it should probably be number one on the hit parade. It is one of the most profound things you can do to raise your self-esteem. Saying what you mean and meaning what you say, sounds like such a simple thing. However, when you begin to make commitments and live up to them with consistency, you will find your self-esteem soars.

I had a hard time with commitments. I would make agreements and then go back on them. I couldn’t make up my mind. I found myself agreeing to things I didn’t feel right for me because I couldn’t stand up for myself at the moment. As you become more confident, you will learn how to stand up for your truth and beliefs.

11. Take Responsibility. When you take responsibility for your actions, health and happiness, you will find happiness begins to flow to you. No one can make you happy. No one can be responsible for you or your health but you. Taking responsibility for you is foundational for healthy self-esteem.

12. Stop Telling Your Story and Forgive Everyone. Everyone has a sad story to tell. It could be a nasty ex or abandonment in childhood. Maybe your parents died when you were young. Although your story is a sad tale
until you stop telling it you won’t move beyond the past. You will continue to regurgitate the past dragging it right along with you as you attempt to create something new and different. You can’t move into something better when you keep focusing on the past.

When my life really changed was when I began to do all of these things simultaneously. Begin with one or two steps. Do these two things with consistency. Happiness comes from taking responsibility for oneself, being true to your word, having a spiritual daily practice taking care of yourself and having healthy boundaries. 

Attracting Love

When we are loving with ourselves, we attract others to us that are accepting and loving also. Relationships with others who are filled with self-love are infinitely easier than having a relationship before we fully love ourselves. 

To Make Things Easier

Begin with one step. When you have mastered one step, add another. It took me over thirty years to be in a place of happiness and fulfillment daily. I did it one step at a time. You can too.
Jennifer will be in Atlanta, Georgia at The Inner Space on Friday, June 10th and 11th.
Group Energy Clearing and Akashic Records Reading and Private sessions available on June 11th.


When we lovingly accept ourselves as we are with all our faults and flaws, we have healthy self-esteem. 
Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is the author of the forthcoming book: HAPPY HERE, HAPPY ANYWHERE. 

Find Jennifer’s books on Amazon.


As promised, beginning Monday, May 23rd, I am offering an energy clearing session for eleven lucky people that move quickly for $75.00 off my regular price. $150.00 for a one-hour energy clearing. This offer will last as long as there is space available. First come, first served! Here is my PayPal link and I will get you scheduled. Either phone or Zoom, which is a video platform.

May 23rd until June 6th or until the eleven spaces are filled! Here is the payment link: PayPal

E-mail Jennifer for your appointment or questions


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.