Have you ever noticed that happy people seem to leap through life attracting beautiful experiences to them while those that are unhappy tend to attract people they don’t get along with, challenges and more problems?
Perhaps the best way for me to explain my experience of this phenomenon is to take you back in time to before I was born. I will do so in the course of this article. But first, let’s look at the Scientific data for those with minds that require documented proof.
Remember 95% of thoughts are unconscious meaning unless you govern your conscious mind carefully and use mantras to heal the unconscious mind it is running amok with negativity.
She passed these beliefs on to me while I was in utero, as her mother and grandmother before her passed their fears onto her.
My mother was suspicious, fearful, had a hatred of men and felt like a victim. She felt the world was unsafe and continued to focus on her parents dying. Her focus was on abandonment and not being loved.
As soon as I was born, my mother felt regret. She had hoped for a boy and I was certainly not that. I was unwanted because I was born the wrong sex. I was fearful, felt like a victim, I felt unlovable, constantly vying for the attention of my parents. Interestingly, I was born during a Venus Retrograde a time astrologically speaking, there was no love.
Since my mother felt men only wanted one thing, victimhood was the common thread between us. She rejected my father, in many different ways though he loved her. My mother’s perspective was that she was unloved. Even though my father loved her, she couldn’t feel it. Her focus was on not being loved.
You Create Your Own Reality
I felt unloved. I felt like a victim. I felt guilty and ashamed. I was crippled by my fears.
I created what I focused on.
I thoughts others wouldn’t like me, so they didn’t.
I was afraid of the dark, afraid of what was under my bed and in my closet. I was afraid of my parents. I was afraid no one would like me. I felt the world was unsafe for me, so it wasn’t safe.
My fears of being unloved surfaced with teachers, friends and in the world. I was victimized repeatedly by men and children in the neighborhood.
The Purpose of Trauma
Everyone experiences trauma at some time in their lives. This trauma is the impetus for us to feel joy rather than suffer.
Trauma makes us search for a deeper meaning to life.
We have a survival instinct. Surviving trauma makes us stronger, rather than weak. We rise above the trauma of the past recognizing its purpose is to be the catalyst for our growth, expansion, and enlightenment.
My trauma made me strong. I overcame my suffering. I let go of the past. I recognized the gift in it all. I stopped blaming my parents for my pain.
Avoiding Pain causes us more pain.
Focus on (the feelings) we are trying to avoid instead.
Have you ever played a game where you look for a particular color car on the highway? When you begin to watch only for red cars, you are amazed at how many red cars there are. When you are looking for white cars, all you notice is the white cars. The same holds true for life experiences. What you pay attention to is what you see. Your perspective changes everything.
When you see that life is working for you, rather than against you everything changes. JEM
When We Focus On The Problem
Wherever we give our attention expands even when it is negative. All we can see is where we are currently focusing.
Think about not having enough money to make your house or rent payment. When you go into that feeling of not having enough, you are in lack consciousness. Your focus is on the problem. Or maybe you place your bills in a stack and forget about them, thinking they will go away. Avoiding the bills creates more pain.
You worry about what will happen if you don’t make your payment on time. You conjure up all kinds or scenarios and worry about the domino effect of not making your payment. You might worry about losing your home. What if you get foreclosed on or evicted? What will happen then? How will you work? How can you work if you don’t have a place to live? All these thoughts create more problems down the road.
Instead, Put Your Attention On The Solution
When we focus on the problem, we create more problems. Instead, focus on the solution by asking questions.
- How can I effortlessly and easily have enough to pay my rent with plenty of money leftover?
- How can I easily have enough to pay all my bills on time?
- How can I easily find someone who loves me for who I am?
- How can I easily find a job that I love for the perfect pay?
- I wonder how I can easily and effortlessly find joy being me?
- I wonder how I can make money by being me?
All We Have Is Our WORD
Most of us don’t realize how we create shame and guilt by not keeping our word.
The biggest shift for me came when I began to be in complete integrity. Shame and guilt became a thing of the past.
I did what I said I would do. I kept commitments. I stopped lying to myself and others. I took responsibility for my life, my health and everything I said. I stopped arriving late. I stopped making excuses. I stopped blaming others for what happened. I stopped worrying about what others thoughts of me. I stopped dating men who were in the middle of a divorce. I stopped avoiding my feelings. I felt my emotions fully and allowed them to flow through me.
Raising Awareness Helps Us Create What We Want
I became aware of what I was saying.
I began to notice what I was thinking.
I boldly stepped into responsibility. I stopped trying to make others happy and allowed them to do so for themselves.
Instead of living in fear, I became courageous and fearless!
Instead of focusing on the past, I focused on the positive inviting better experiences in for me.
You Aren’t Exempt
Whether you like it or not, you are creating your own reality. Begin to notice what you are thinking. When you recognize that you are creating from a place of fear (which blocks you) shift your thoughts to something more positively creative.
|Mojave Desert, California|
Why Do We Experience Pain?
We live in a world of contrast. Contrast is necessary to show us what we have or don’t have. If everything was perfect and beautiful all the time, there would be no room for growth. If the sun shone all the time, you wouldn’t recognize that clouds offer shade and the rain feeds the earth and its inhabitants.
Living in the desert it is dry, brown and desolate. Traveling to Georgia or Colorado I see the contrast – the beauty, differences and am thrilled to be experiencing this contrast.
What has your pain taught you? How has your pain helped you grow?
Where do you see the contrast? What does the contrast help you recognize?
When We Believe The World Isn’t Safe
When we believe the world isn’t a safe place we create events that scare us and prove the world isn’t safe.
Abortion and Infant Death
How can a fetus have created its own abortion? A soul that needs a particular type of experience for its growth comes into alignment with the vibration of the experience it needs. Sometimes, what that soul needs to experience is being rejected, unloved or aborted.
- You decide what you want.
- But you continue to focus on what you don’t want.
- You worry about what you don’t want, continuing to focus your thoughts, fears and emotions on what you don’t want.
- You always have a choice and you are choosing to focus on what you don’t want.
- Always control your focus.
- Pay attention to your thoughts.
- When your thoughts begin to stray, steer them back to what you want.
- Choose your thoughts wisely.
- Don’t allow yourself to wallow in self-pity or resentment because you will perpetuate feelings of unhappiness.
- Complaining about your circumstances only highlights and creates more of what you don’t want.
- Remember suffering occurs when you focus on unwanted things.
To book your session with Jennifer while you still can e-mail her at [email protected]
Jennifer is a catalyst healer for healing, love and happiness coach that clears limiting beliefs, blocks and self-sabotage from the past so that you can have the life, love and happiness you desire. A healed healer herself, she helps others overcome anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, guilt, shame, insecurities that block you from having healthy relationships and happiness.
session to see if her work is a good fit for your happiness.
Jennifer is currently working on her third book:
Happy Here, Happy Anywhere:
The Step-By-Step Guide to Overcoming Anxiety, Depression, and Unhappiness Without A Prescription!