9 Questions To Ask Before You Jump Into Bed

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

On-line dating today can be risky. Minimizing the risks takes place in advance. Ask lots of questions and be prepared. Do your Girl Scout leader proud! Be bold and be prepared. Your relationship will be better as a result. Don’t be afraid to ask.

1. Do you have an STD? Getting a regular blood test when dating is something our health teacher would suggest. Asking if your date has had a checkup in the past six months is the second question. If your date has an active HPV, you could be at risk of throat cancer.

2. Do you have herpes? Herpes is the gift that keeps on giving. Once you have it, giving birth can be extremely challenging as babies can be born with herpes. No one wants that. Even though you have already asked about the STD, ask again about herpes. It’s that important. Okay, some people will lie about this one, watch their reaction. Body language can be telling. 

Do you trust them enough to have them in your bed, exchanging bodily fluids? Women who don’t trust their men have difficulty with orgasm.

3. Do you have any problem using a condom? You would be surprised at the stories I could tell you about men who refused condoms and where the relationships ended up. I know of three women who dated men who refused to wear a condom and guess who got pregnant? It wasn’t the guy! A condom isn’t 100% effective against pregnancy or even STDs, but it does reduce the risk of both. Don’t be afraid to ask this question. If the guy says no, give him a pass, because he doesn’t care enough about you to protect you.

4. Are you into KINK? Asking this question could save pain later on. There is nothing like falling in love with someone and finding that you aren’t sexually compatible. I know of several men who like to be dominated but are too afraid to tell their wives of thirty years. Hopefully, you will be honest enough to spill the beans about whether you prefer vanilla or kinky sex, and have a safe word.

What Men Want From Their Women

5. Have you had a vasectomy? If you are a single woman hoping to have children, do you want to fall for someone who can’t bear children? For some, this could be a bonus. Knowing whether a guy has had a “V” is an important fact. 

6. Do you want to have children? For many, this question is obvious on their profile, to be sure, ask. 

7. Do you watch porn? Depending on whether you like porn or not, this could be a deal breaker. Pornography addiction is a big issue and cited as a cause for divorce. Porn reduces the feeling part of the brain, reducing women to objects. A little porn is one thing, porn every day is another. Couples who watch porn together can both get excited by it and use porn as a place to take-off from. 

8. Do you enjoy oral sex? Many a man enjoys oral sex for himself but is reluctant to reciprocate. Women can be excited by oral sex both giving and receiving or turned off by the thought of a blow job. You might want to ask this question before you ah, you know, dive in. (Forgive me, I just had too!)

9. How open to experimenting sexually are you? Whether you are skilled or not knowing whether your soon-to-be lover is interested in trying, new things might make a big difference to whether you want to dedicate time to this relationship or not. 

If you are not interested in a long-term relationship, this question may be less important. For women who want a relationship with their sex, having someone that will learn Tantra or use sex as a method of expanding spiritually together; their response could be a deal breaker.

Sex is a method of communication. If you can’t talk about sex before having it, you might want to ask yourself, why not? 

Sex is better when we can discuss what’s happening, what we desire and what we don’t. If you are mute about the subject of sex, you might feel disempowered by the other person. If you feel disempowered, that brings up another question, why?

Talking about sex can be exciting. Rather than shelving the subject open a discussion. You might find you both get turned on by opening up the door to a discussion about sex. We create intimacy by sharing our deepest fears and secrets. Sex improves when you break down the walls that protect you from being vulnerable.

 is a healer, sex, love, and happiness coach that clears limiting beliefs, blocks, and self-sabotage from the past so that you can have the life, love, and happiness you desire. A healed healer herself, she helps others overcome anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, guilt, shame, insecurities that block you from having healthy relationships and happiness. 

Connect with Jennifer to schedule your free discovery
session to see if her work is a good fit for your happiness. 

Find Jennifer’s books on Amazon.com

Jennifer is currently working on her third book: 

Happy Here, Happy Anywhere:

The Step-By-Step Guide to Overcoming Anxiety, Depression, and Unhappiness Without A Prescription!

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