You, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. ~ Buddha
When we love ourselves everything in our lives becomes easier. Our relationships improve, we become infinitely more happy, successful and have ease in our life. Filling your personal love tank with our love and acceptance will change our lives for the better faster than any amount of money or success will. Until we love ourselves, we won’t feel it when another person does.
Be patient with yourself. You didn’t get here overnight. Loving the self is a daily practice. These 21 steps will provide a guide along your path of self-love. Not sure if you love yourself?
1. Accept yourself the way you are. Loving acceptance means to stop trying to twist yourself around to be something you are not. Recognize you were created the way you are for a reason.
2. Be authentic. Authenticity means that you are truly yourself. Being a chameleon attempting to be what we think another person expects us to be reduces our personal power and drains our energy. Being something other than what you are also will create anxiety. When you are the same with your doctor as you are with the cashier at the grocery store and the homeless person on the street you are authentic. Authenticity gives you strength.
3. Stop comparing. There is no one else like you. When we compare ourselves with another, we feel weak, negative and are often filled with self-hatred. What another person thinks of you isn’t your concern. Dress for yourself. When you feel good about your others, feel it.
4. Validate yourself. Looking for approval from others like our parents, teachers, bosses, clients or strangers reduces our personal power. Instead give value to yourself. When you feel bad, allow yourself to do so, it’s okay. Don’t allow another person to tell you how you should feel about a given situation. You are the only one that knows how you feel.
5. Stop judging. Judging yourself for your thoughts, feelings or the way you look disempowers you. Self-approval is paramount for good self-esteem. Be okay with how you feel rather than condemning yourself for feeling or thinking a certain way. How Your Thoughts Create Disease
6. Trust yourself. Trusting your inner guidance and listening to your intuition is empowering. The more you trust yourself, the more personal power you will have, the stronger you feel. Self-doubt is one of the biggest issues people have that don’t love themselves. If you don’t trust yourself, you end up attracting people who lie, cheat and will steal from you.
7. Nurture yourself. Feeding your soul through activities that feel good, like taking a walk out in nature, a hot bath, meditating, resting when you need to will power you up and soothe you when you feel bad.
8. Allow yourself to feel. Attempting to run away from feelings or emotions will cause you further suffering and pain. Feel what you are feeling fully. Sit with your feelings and breathe deeply. The feelings will pass very soon. Attempting to run away suppresses emotions causes us to feel numb and health issues down the road. A big part of awakening is feeling our emotions fully, rather than running away from them.
9. Be grateful for the big and small things in life. One of the first things I did was to say, “Thank you for my life, ” each morning upon awakening. When we are grateful to be alive, we begin to recognize that every day is a gift, and there are many other things we have to be grateful for. Gratitude opens our heart and raises our vibration.
10. Make a commitment to physical health. Most people don’t commit to being healthy, vibrantly alive and feeling good about life. When you make a personal commitment to yourself, you begin to focus on healthier choices for foods, reducing alcohol, drugs, and exercise for our well-being. Remember your body is sacred. Making a personal commitment to you is paramount for happiness and well-being.
11. Respect yourself. Self-respect is palpable. When we respect ourselves, we make better decisions about what is good for us, who we want in our lives and what we will and won’t tolerate. When we lack self-respect others, disrespect us as well.
12. Know that you are worthy. Most people that don’t love themselves feel unworthy. Unworthiness is one of the first things I clear in a session. When the programs, beliefs, and emotion of unworthiness is cleared, it becomes far easier to recognize self-worth.
13. Know that you are lovable. When we don’t love ourselves, we feel unlovable. Your soul essence is love. You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t have a purpose or reason. You have much to give the world. You are already loved. 14. Speak your truth.Staying mute about how you feel is disempowering. Practice saying what is true for you with compassion towards yourself and others. 15. Take action where you need to. Do what you know needs to be done, without delay. Getting things done helps you feel successful and empowered. Unpack that suitcase! Put away those dishes! Improve the elements of your life that you can. Know what you have control of (yourself) rather than others. 16. Focus on you rather than what others are doing. Most of us focus on what others are doing when we don’t feel good about ourselves and our life, instead look inside. Focus on you. Ask yourself questions: “How does this make me feel?” “How am I being triggered by what this person is saying to me?” “What event does this remind me of from my past?” Asking yourself questions raises our awareness making us a witness in our lives which is powerful for healing the past. 17. Stop trying to fix or change others. When we focus on ourselves (number 16 above) we stop trying to change others. We have no control over another person. Attempting to fix or change others is an avoidance of ourselves. 18. Be gentle and loving with yourself. Notice what is good rather than what is wrong with you. Wherever you focus your attention grows. Emphasize your positive traits and turn your attention away from what you feel needs to be fixed. 18. Stop worrying. Worry is a waste of time and energy. Worry causes anxiety. You are okay as you are. Things always have a way of working out for the best. Worrying doesn’t make anything better. 19. Forgive. Forgive yourself for your past choices rather than continue to beat yourself up. There is no right or wrong. There is no such thing as failure, only gifts, and lessons. Recognize the lesson and move on. 20. Be fearless. Don’t be afraid to be yourself. People will love you for being true to you. 21. Be accountable. Our word is all we have. Taking responsibility for our words, actions and deeds leads to strong character and self-respect. We feel guilt and shame when we make excuses. When we take responsibility for ourselves, our health, happiness and our choices we step into our personal power. Making excuses for yourself is disempowering and makes you a victim. Life isn’t happening to you, it is happening FOR YOU!
Jennifer is a healer, sex, love, and happiness coach that clears limiting beliefs, blocks, and self-sabotage from the past so that you can have the life, love, and happiness you desire. A healed healer herself, she helps others overcome anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, guilt, shame, insecurities that block you from having healthy relationships and happiness.