Why You Need To Know The History Behind Fetishes and Fantasies

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Fantasy or Fetish?

I recently had a question from a reader about fetishes. “Does everyone have a fetish? What is considered normal?” Whatever you and your partner agree to and feel comfortable with is normal for you. 

Believe it or not but many people have fantasies or fetishes. If you are a history buff, you will love this! History details fetishes as early as the 1200’s and strange S&M as early as the first Century BCE. 

Humans have been having fantasies and strange sexual experiences since the beginning of time. We are sexual beings. Men’s brains have a larger portion dedicated to sex than women. It makes sense that men think about sex every 52 seconds.

Thinking outside the box and incorporating excitement into your experiences can make sex more interesting. I caution you to keep sex safe for both parties.

Documented historical references to fetishism and strange sex play on cave walls sex is a part of our world. Ignoring history doesn’t make these things go away. Whether you engage in these events or not, I am providing this historical data in the hopes of educating and saving lives.

A sexual fetish is an obsession with something that doesn’t usually have a sexual association attached. You might enjoy seeing your partner in sexy lingerie or red high heels, but that doesn’t mean you have a fetish. 

Sexual fetishes are more common in men and can be anything from a woman’s underarm to an object. Those with a fetish might hold, rub or taste the object while masturbating or all the way to full-on massage with the object.  Some men are obsessed with a woman’s feet, toes or lingerie. Women might be turned on by tattoos. Having sex with anyone sans ink would be a turnoff for them.

Fantasy is something that you think about while you are having sex that keeps you aroused during your encounter. Fantasies are often those erotic thoughts that turn you on, but that you don’t necessarily have to happen in reality. 

Many people are fearful of telling their partner about their fantasies because they may seem strange or weird. For example, a threesome might get you hot, but the thought of engaging in one, in reality, terrifies you. You may fantasize about someone watching you have sex, but be very shy about being seen naked in front of another person. Revealing your fantasies and desires to your partner may heighten arousal while deepening intimacy at the same time.

Practice Safe Sex

1. Feet 1220 AD. A foot fetishist loves the smell, taste, and texture of feet and would hold, suck, touch, smell or use them to achieve an orgasm. They might also love to smell shoes and anything your feet have been in. It is believed that foot fetishes began due to a fear of getting the plague from sex around 1220 AD. A foot became a safe-second! 

Admiring another’s shoes doesn’t mean you have a foot fetish. An A-list of celebrities has copped a feel or two of a delicious and tantalizing foot from F. Scott Fitzgerald, author of The Great Gatsby, Thomas Hardy,  Cassonova, and even Jay Leno!

2. Sadomasochism 470 BC. Though named after the Marquis de Sade, he didn’t invent it. Characterized by sexual role play of dominance and submission, sadomasochism has been revived and brought to the forefront of our minds with movies like 50 Shades of Gray. Those that are professionals opt for rooms or dungeons where the sex play occurs. Rather than being about penetration it is more about humiliation and domination which is said to stimulate arousal in the submissive. 

An element of dominance can be a part of titillating and exciting even those who aren’t into pain and pleasure. A safe word that is respected by both parties stops sex play that becomes too scary, painful or over-the-top.

The Etruscans were noted for guy-on-guy sex and threesomes including flogging five centuries before the new testament. The Tomb of the Floggings was the earliest depiction of S&M known to man. Wife sharing was also common place. Thinking that our civilization is falling apart with that latest sexual fantasy or porn? Think again! Strange sex acts have been a part of civilization since the beginning of time.

2. Voyeurism.  Watching another person or couple coupling, kissing and having sex is a must for a voyeur. A fantasy for many voyeurisms are depicted in the movie, Eyes Wide Shut, with Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman. Voyeurism was first recognized and chronicled by the Etruscans, where nothing was off limits.

3. Autoerotic Asphyxiation 17th Century. I include this as it is a dangerous dance with death taking the lives of some 500 to 1,000 young men (and a few females) each year who accidentally die from strangling while masturbating. The family often covers up the nature of their child’s death. Occurring as early as age 9, all the way to 77 years old, finding your loved one’s in this way is horrible for family members or hotel staff. 

Parents of teens need to know about scarfing.

Autoerotic asphyxiation deaths are accidental but ruled as suicide – always by hanging with a knife found near the body. People don’t recognize how easy it is to loose consciousness by hanging. The most famous are the Kung Fu star Keith Carradine, Robin Williams is thought to have died similarly. The circumstances surrounding Robin’s death were very similar to Keith Carradine’s. He was in a seated position, like Keith, with a knife nearby. It is understandable that to preserve his memory that his family would not want this to be public knowledge. 

Covering up the statistics does not make this go away. 

Historical evidence of hanged men in the 1600’s dying with erections, even ejaculating at the time of death began a fascination with autoerotic asphyxiation. It was used as a treatment for erectile dysfunction. And we think our medical doctors are strange!

Warning this George Carlin video contains explicit language.

4. Weird Places. Having sex in places other than the bedroom is a fantasy for many. Cars, closets, movie theaters, restaurants, airplane bathrooms, can heighten the excitement due to the fear of being caught. A 68-year old woman and her 49-year old boyfriend were caught having sex in the public square of her retirement community! Where might you ask? Florida! A UK couple was thrown out of their local MacDonald’s for stripping down in the bathroom and making some strange noises for all to hear.

5. Latex. Whether you are a fashionista or not, latex is a big turn on for men and woman alike. Remember Mr. and Mrs. Smith with Angelina Jolie? From latex bras to boots, this is a fetish that is guaranteed to turn on your man. 

6. Strange Porn 16th Century. From furry porn – dressing up in animal costumes to Japanese octopus porn, there seems to be no end to the weird taste for some. Though the tentacle porn appears to have been a recent addition, it’s origins are Japanese late 1500s. The story of The Fisherman’s Wife is not the earliest; interestingly early dildos were found in fishing villages where men were away for extended periods. Sorry, fish porn just doesn’t do it for me! EWW!

7. Sex Toys 4,000 BC. A recent find in Sweden turned up an ancient Stone Age dildo. 4,000 – 6,000 BC people were thinking about sex too! Though the archaeologists hadn’t determined exactly what this hand-carved phallic object was used for, we can only imagine. To think 40,000 years ago people were spending their days carving these things. I wonder how long they had to wait? This dildo gives new meaning to the word hard-on!

8. Bondage. Bondage ranges from being tied up like a Christmas turkey to blindfolding your partner. Being held down, unable to use your arms can excite even the most mundane of pleasure seekers.

Sex is a part of life and has been since the dawn of creation. Having sex in strange and different ways can excite and shift a hum-drum sex life. Even reading erotica together can be a turn-on. I hope you have enjoyed your history lesson today. I would love to hear from you. Did you find it interesting, funny, weird, exciting, or insightful? Join me on FaceBook and comment on the blog.

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Jennifer is a healer, sex, love, and happiness coach that clears limiting beliefs, blocks, and self-sabotage from the past so that you can have the life, love, and happiness you desire. A healed healer herself, she helps others overcome anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, guilt, shame, insecurities that block you from having healthy relationships and happiness. 

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