11 Things To Stop Doing For You To Be Happy

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

It is important to know that in order to be happy we need to let go of negative behaviors that cause us pain, discomfort, and suffering. Once you let go of the shadow light floods into the void, just like magic. 


We are often the cause of our biggest obstacles. JEM


1. Focusing on the past or future.  When we focus on the past we often do so with regret. Regret is negative and is a sign you haven’t forgiven yourself and others for events long ago. 

When we live focused on what might happen or what we want to happen in the future we are not present. 

When we focus on the past and future we lose sight of the magic in this moment. We miss signs, inspiration, hugs, kisses, lovers, possibilities and magic when we focus on anything but right now. 

Wake up being grateful for today. When we recognize what a gift each day is, being present becomes so much easier. 

It is our search for something bigger, better than what we think we have now is what causes us to focus on the past and the future. We regret our past and long for something better in the future, not knowing how much time we have. Each day is a gift. Breathe deeply. 

When you breathe deeply you become present in the now.

I know far too many people who have left the planet without recognizing the joy of the now, wishing and longing for something other than what they had. 

2. Stop trying to please others. When we attempt to please others we are not being authentic. We are longing for others to love us for our acts of kindness. 

Looking for something in return for doing for others is a shadowy pattern grounded in manipulation, it isn’t healthy. Attempting to please others will leave you feeling resentful and angry. Pleasing others does not bring you happiness or fulfillment. Pleasing others is not the same as selfless acts of kindness. 
3. Being mute about your needs and desires. Part of happiness comes from knowing what you want and asking for it from your friends, family, and partners. When we are silent about what we want no one knows that our needs aren’t being met. Practice asking for what you want with those you feel safest with. 
As time goes on you will be able to also ask for what you need and want from those who you are currently afraid of.
4. Neglecting your needs. As an adjunct to number 3, above, not getting enough sleep, eating healthy balanced foods, meditating, exercising and taking time for you will leave you feeling depleted and empty. How can you possibly have anything left to do what you want to do and that brings you joy if you don’t take care of your needs? 
5. Ignoring your inner Guidance. Asking others what you should do, or comparing yourself with others progress is not taking care of yourself. When you take the time to meditate, do yoga, exercise, go within you will have all the guidance you need to make the best decisions and choices for you.
Whenever you use the words “figure out,” you are in your mind not your heart. The best decisions come from your heart rather than your ego-mind.
6. Resisting your emotions and inner shadow. Each of us has a shadow side. Our shadow side seems dark. Darkness is just the end of the spectrum of light. When we resist looking at what is in our shadow we miss incredible insights into what motivates us or stops us. 
I know this darkness very well I have experienced three dark nights of the soul. Each of us has trauma that we have experienced that must be healed for us to experience true unbounded joy

Speaking with a family member last night, she relayed a deep dive into her dark night of the soul that caused a miracle of spontaneous awakening. When she dove straight into the dark she experienced such darkness in her sobbing that Grace rushed in and caused such an awakening to occur that she hasn’t looked back since. The joy that overtook her was far greater than the darkness!

7. Chasing love and happiness. The more we attempt to grasp happiness and love the more that they elude us. We have to recognize all the good that we have now and appreciate it for what it is. Looking for something other than what we have will keep us stuck. 

“If only I had ______” thoughts will keep you stuck and unhappy.

Avoiding feeling what you are feeling right now is holding you back from immense growth. We have to process our feelings fully to be able to feel happiness, otherwise, we are just numb.

8. Fixing others. I could have written a book about this one! I tried to fix everyone from my mother to my husbands until I recognized I was projecting how I felt about myself. 

We have to let go of the thought that we know better for others what is good for them. Once our children become young adults we have to let them go to live their lives without interference from us unless they ask

9. Trying to be perfect. Most of the people I work with feel broken, lost and uncomfortable in their own skin. They usually try to be the perfect wife, mother, practitioner. Perfection is only reserved for Gods. We are perfect the way we are. Knowing that you are whole, worthy, complete as you are and valuable. You wouldn’t be on this planet right now if you didn’t have something wonderful to offer. You are perfect the way you are. Yes, we are all works in progress, till the day we die. 

Stop attempting to be perfect it will keep you from being happy with you.

10. Attempting to control the Universe. Any effort to control others, life, and events will cause you to suffer. Controlling behavior is caused by fears, usually from some childhood trauma where your world and life was beyond your control. 

Perhaps your mother had Borderline Personality Disorder, or was an alcoholic, this trauma can cause you to continue the controlling behavior that was learned in childhood. 

I have found doing mantras to affirm that the world is a safe place help my clients tremendously. Affirmations and mantras are a powerful way to help you overcome mind chatter and controlling behavior.

11. Thinking you can’t have what you dream about. It took me twenty years to finally write the book that my Guides kept urging me to write. Once I did it, doors began to open to greater opportunities and my writing improved significantly. 

Putting off your dreams because your mother or partner says _____ is an excuse. If you can dream it, you can create it. I can help you find the resources and the way to access your gifts to accomplish what you dream about.

I have created a three-part audio series called: Happiness Jumpstart. Each of the three-part audio lasts an hour giving you the steps you need to take to be happy and clears whatever is keeping you stuck. The three-hour total series is just $33.00 and worth every penny. I give deeply from my heart in this very powerful audio seminar. 

Scroll down the page from the link to the purple tab on the right and it will take you to the Paypal checkout

It also gives you the strategies to get to a place of happiness. Part of being happy is letting go of these negative behaviors that keep you trapped in a paradigm that you don’t enjoy. 

Looking a bigger shift? Work privately with me for three months or more to create a powerful shift in your home, work and relationships. I am happy with me, but I wasn’t always. I will show you the ropes, encourage, uplift and love you through the process. I have had clients tell me that I get them more than people who have known them a lifetime. 

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