By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters
Your life sucks, you hate your boss, you hate your life and you wish your ex would get hit by a bus. If this is your life, the good news is that you have the power to change it all. If you keep on doing the same thing over and over, your results will be the same.
I understand. I have been there. I couldn’t have been more miserable in the past if my head was stuck in a toilet! I blamed everyone in my life for my unhappiness. It wasn’t until I recognized that I was the center of my own universe and the cause for all of it, the good, the bad and the ugly, I shifted big time!
I had a client ask me today what I did to change from being miserable and unhappy to blissfully happy with my life, my work, and my world? The following are the steps I took to change my mindset and my life.
1. I stopped blaming everyone. I began to look at the past events (even the abuse and molestation) as a gift and the catalyst for me to grow and evolve. Trauma happens to us all. How we look at the past is what shifts our mindset.
If we continue to blame others for the way we feel, we will feel depressed, angry and resentful. When we take responsibility for our health, happiness and our life everything becomes better. It may seem a tough pill to swallow, but we contracted for these events to occur so that we would be pushed, prodded and forced to evolve. Some people continue to complain about their lives and never move past the pain and suffering. As Einstein says, they are insane. Bliss is just on the other side.
2. I took responsibility for my happiness. I finally recognized that no one can make me happy or unhappy. Instead of being angry with the way others behaved, I looked inside to see what I did that may have caused their behavior. I stopped using alcohol or prescription medicines. I healed all my addictions through self-love.
3. I listened to what I told myself and what I said out loud. If I beat myself up unconsciously, I would catch myself and shift my thoughts to something positive. I became my own cheerleader.
4. I did my best. Instead of doing things half-assed, I did my best. I took my time rather than rushing through projects. I found I made fewer errors and caused fewer problems for myself when I slowed down.
5. I stopped trying to be perfect. There is such a thing as good enough. I strived for my best, rather than perfection.
6. I began to breathe deeply and consciously. One of the things that I noticed is that when I had low self-esteem I was often barely breathing. Breathing deeply affirmed life. I was giving my permission to be bigger and more powerful by breathing deeply.
7. I showed up. To be successful we need to commit to ourselves. When we commit to ourselves, we show up for appointments, we don’t cancel at the last minute, which causes us to feel bad.
8. I was true to my word. Being honest all the time wasn’t easy at first. I found I told myself and others white lies. Life is so much easier when we stick to the truth when we do there is much less to remember. We know what we told others because we told the truth. When we tell stories and lies we have to keep track of what we told to whom. We cause less worry and anxiety for ourselves when we are completely honest.
9. I stopped being late. When we have been abused or molested we often have unconscious patterns of control. We attempt to control our environment and aren’t even aware of it much of the time. Being late is one way that people with PTSD attempt to control the universe. Control comes from fear.
10. I became fearless. I used to be afraid of the dark. I used to be afraid of public speaking, meeting new people or doing something for the first time. As my confidence rose and I became clear energetically, fears dissolved naturally.
11. I stopped accepting disrespect and abuse. When we don’t respect ourselves, we don’t recognize when we are being disrespected. If we have suffered trauma as a child abuse is part of our programming. As we begin to heal the past we realize that abuse doesn’t have to be a part of our reality any longer. The better we feel about ourselves, the stronger we become and the less accepting of poor treatment we are.
12. I began to love being alone with me. When I was codependent, I had to have someone in my life. If I didn’t have a man, I was on the hunt for one or felt desperately lonely. I no longer feel alone or lonely no matter where I am or who I am with. I enjoy my company so much that I have a good time no matter what I am doing.
13. I began to live simply without attachment. I have given up all my belongings three times. In letting go of so many of my material possessions I also let go of the past. Furniture no longer reminds me of an ex-husband who is no longer alive or a friend that has passed on. The things I have I love, but they don’t define me and I could let them all go in a heart beat.
14. I know myself well and surround myself with loving people who are interested in growing and evolving. I continue to learn and grow daily.
15. I have a daily spiritual practice of meditation, mantras, dancing and nature. My spiritual practice keeps me grounded and fed.
16. I eat slowly and prayerfully. I don’t watch scary movies or anything that will upset me while I eat.
17. I practice mindfulness in all I do. Even preparing my taxes, is a mindful event.
18. I love life and live each day as if it is my last. I don’t place too much emphasis on wealth or financial gain, and always have enough to pay my bills and eat well. Money isn’t what brings us happiness.
19. I celebrate life daily. I do my best to be kind to others and offer those in need help whenever I can.
20. I perform healing work that I love on people to assist them in improving their lives. I know the work I am doing has an impact on the collective consciousness.
21. I am grateful for everything I have including my life. Each day I am grateful for being alive. I don’t wish my life was different or that I had anything other than what I have. I love my life.
Loving ourselves is the greatest gift we can give ourselves, our families and the world. If you need assistance in making your life one of joy, contact me right now, why wait another second? I did it for me and I certainly can help you do it too! Everything is sweeter when we love and accept ourselves.
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