Do You Make Everyone Else’s Happiness Your Responsibility?

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

I remember Christmas when my children were little. I was careful to buy equal priced gifts for each child. No matter how hard I tried, my oldest son always felt disappointed. Even when I spent more on him, he felt disappointed, as if I could never give him enough. 

 

I felt my stomach sink each year as the presents were unwrapped and the bows and ribbons picked up and thrown away. I made my son’s happiness my responsibility. I used to be so concerned about what others thought and how they felt about me

 
When we put conditions on our happiness, we block our ability to be happy. Sometimes we are self-destructive and don’t even know it, which leads to even more challenges in our lives. 

When we make statements like the following:
 
  • I’ll be happy when ______________(I’m in a relationship, am at the perfect weight, have the perfect job, have _____ money, move to a different location.
  • We’ll be happy when we’re married.
  • We’ll be happy when we have a (or another) baby.
  • I’ll be happy when all my family is together.
  • I’ll be happy when I’m retired.
  • I’ll be happy when I can have sex.
….. we block our happiness.
 
Happiness comes from you, not an outside circumstance. When we don’t love ourselves completely, we place conditions on our happiness. We make other’s happiness our responsibility. No amount of presents will fill someone up that is running on empty. Love has to come from within to fill us up and make us feel loved.
 
The Truth
 
No one can else make us happy. Happiness doesn’t come from material things like a house, new car or clothes. Material things bring us fleeting rushes, but not permanent happiness. A relationship might bring excitement to you at first, but if you aren’t happy with you first, it can bring you more pain.
 
Thinking that making others happy will bring you happiness is putting their happiness ahead of yours. Each person is responsible for being happy with themselves. Happiness comes from being happy with who we are as we are.
 
How Do We Get Past This?
 
I understand, I really do. For half of my life, I was miserable with low self-esteem, anxiety, depression and a slew of failed relationships. Because I didn’t respect myself, others didn’t respect me either. I attracted men who wouldn’t value me because I didn’t value myself. I didn’t love me and lived in denial of that fact, so the men I loved cheated. I kept attracting men who were emotionally unavailable because I was also. It was far easier to point out the other person’s flaws and faults than to see my own.
 
Since I grew up with criticism in my household, I was critical of myself and others. It wasn’t until I was told how negative I was that I began to see how crippling my thoughts and words to myself were. It took an outsider to make me aware of how I was creating my world. 
 
The Magic of Self Love
 
Our outer world is a magical mirror that reflects our innermost unconscious thoughts back to us. Until we begin to awaken, we don’t notice how much damage we create to ourselves with the words and thoughts we think. 
 
How I Work With You
 
There are several ways I can help you to move beyond anxiety, depression, and unhappiness. Energy work, healing your field and removing the patterns and blocks to love, or hypnotherapy sessions. In my coaching sessions, I use all of my tool boxes, of The Akashic Records, coaching, intuition, healing, energy and hypnotherapy. In two hypnotherapy sessions, I can help you permanently change the way you feel about yourself. Hypnotherapy is a powerful healing modality that reprograms the unconscious mind to think in positive instead of negative ways. 
 
Beliefs
 
Our beliefs created from early childhood traumatic events govern our adult life unless we change them. Beliefs could be:
 
  • I am unlovable
  • I am unworthy
  • I am not valuable
  • I am not heard
  • I am not respected
  • I am not worth loving
  • No one will ever love me
  • People will reject me
 
Begin Today With A Mantra To Heal Your Mind
 
I am strong, powerful, harmonious, loving and happy!
 
I am lovable
I am worthy
I am loved
I am safe
I am secure
 
 

We can only make ourselves happy. Working on our inner self is the key to being happy with our outer world. I wish you the happiest of holidays whether you celebrate Kwanza, Christmas, Hannuka or Hajj, and so much love!

Work with Jennifer to find the love inside of you so that you can have the relationship of your dreams. Whether you are currently in a relationship or not, Jennifer will help you find the love wherever you are helping you shift your perspective to be happy and fulfilled.
I love you!
Jennifer

10 Common Mistakes Scientifically Proven To Prevent Happiness and Health

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