If you are single looking for a relationship, there are two mindsets. The first one is where we sit at home and hopefully dream and pray for an attractive man to fall out of the sky into our laps, and we will live happily ever after. The second and more grounded perspective is that if we want love we have to go for it.
Don’t get me wrong, I am a firm believer in the Law of Attraction even in the dating world. We get what we think and focus on. We also attract what we are. What if that opportunity for that perfect person for you presents itself and he doesn’t ask for your number? We have to take matters into our own hands and make the first move.
1. Men can be shy and afraid of rejection. Men have been the sole risk taker for eons. Men have historically asked for a first date, asked for our hand in marriage. However, times have changed. We’ve changed. Men can be afraid of us women.
Seriously, we women can be pretty scary at times. In fact, how many times have we yelled at a guy for whistling, ogling or making a move on us? Men don’t know what women want.
Asking a woman for a date, or to marry him all have a huge risk of rejection. While it is a scary thing for men to ask a woman out, taking a risk yourself can be rewarded. No matter your age, asking a guy out on a date can be the best thing you ever did.
Case in point: I attended a New Year’s party with a friend. I met many people at the party, but one man stood out head and shoulders above the rest. I gave him my card after talking to him for two hours (which should have given him a clue I was interested), and he never bothered to call. He was a really nice man but had some deep insecurities. I took my experience on New Year’s Eve as a lesson. If I like someone, I need to let them know it. Otherwise, I would feel like I missed an opportunity and would feel regret. I wrote about regret in Orgasm For Life.
The more we live our life with regret, the more regrettable moments we have. JEM
2. Sometimes men are totally clueless and don’t pick up on our tossing our hair, intent interest in their every word or our cool demeanor which is meant to draw them in because we are so so hot! Making the first move can be the only way you get a second chance with someone you meet. Don’t expect a man to understand or pick up on your queues. Many men are oblivious to body language.
3. Golden Opportunities don’t come around every day. When you are presented with an opportunity, take the risk as there are only two ways it can go, he’ll say yes, or he’ll say no. If you never ask you may leave the party, gathering or grocery store and never see him again. Take the risk rather than miss out on the love of a lifetime.
4. There is always a risk in love. Those events in our life that are monumental and life changing don’t happen every day. Whether it is publishing your first book, a blog, starting a new business or telling your family you are gay, we have to risk to get what we really want. To have love we have to step out of our little box of comfort and risk everything. We have to risk someone seeing us completely naked and authentic. We have to risk someone not loving us to have someone love us like we’ve never been loved before.
Playing it safe isn’t going to get you that amazing jaw-dropping and heart-stopping butterflies or incredible sex, deep connection and bliss of being with a person who exceeds your expectations on all levels.
To have love we have to risk it all.
5. Better to live with a bruised ego than to miss your Golden Opportunity that may only come once in a lifetime. Don’t live your life with regret because of some old rule book about what women shouldn’t do. Regret is a terrible thing. Regret is what we feel after we see someone amazing, handsome, intelligent, funny, sexy, talented and then leave without letting him know, “I’d love to have coffee or tea with you some time and just share stories.”
When we don’t reach for and grab that brass ring, the next time another opportunity might present itself like this one could be never.
I deserve it! Yes I do! I am worth it! Yes I am! I am loveable! Oh HELL YES!