As an observer of life, I watch men and women. I watch couples interact as well as single people. Recently, I have been astounded at the absence of mindfulness in the men I have encountered. Two men, let doors slam in my face as I entered the buildings after them. I talked to those men and this is what I found.
The second one was married. He made excuses. It was his cell phone, his computer, texting…. I asked him if he treated his wife with such disregard he said sheepishly, “No.” I know this can’t be true. I asked if they were still having sex? He looked surprised at my question. I told him if he was so absent-minded and disconnected during his day, he was most likely missing the boat with his sexual encounters as well.
Sex for women is an emotional experience, but it begins in the mind. We can’t have sex with our men when you are being an ass, or have forgotten our birthday, anniversary or are just plain disconnected. Kiss your partner. Act like you care. Be present. Tell her or him how beautiful they are – often.
- Breathe Deeply. The fastest way to get back into your body and get grounded is to breathe deeply. Most people are barely breathing. When you breathe shallowly, you are not affirming life. Affirm life. Breathe in slowly. Exhale slowly and completely. Feel the aliveness in your body when you do. There is nothing to be afraid of. This is you. Breathe in the love. Breathe in the present. Breathe in life.
- Silence. Sit is complete silence twice a day beginning with 10 minutes. You don’t have to sit in the Lotus position, cross-legged. Sit up straight. Breathe. Turn your eyes upward towards the ceiling to shut down the mind chatter. Then close them. With your eyelids shut, turn your eyeballs upwards towards your hairline. This will keep your mind quiet. Shut off your television. Shut off your cell phone. “Oh my God! Shut off the cell phone, what if someone wants to reach me?” They will call back or leave a message. It is okay. Many people are afraid to be alone with themselves in quiet. I promise you, your life will improve when you begin to revel in the silence every day.
- Connect. Go outside, walk out in nature. Connect with the earth. Nature, plants, trees, birds will help you recognize your
own Divinity within. Walk barefoot. Touch or hug a tree. Ask the tree to take away your burdens. Then say thank you when it does. Trees have a consciousness and will communicate with you. They love it when we talk to them. Sounds crazy? I certainly don’t care what others think of me, you shouldn’t either.
- Notice. Begin to notice what you are thinking, saying and feeling. Noticing is called raising your awareness. Do your best to stay positive, think positively. As with anything new, it takes practice to train your brain to be positive. When you do it
consistently, you will feel happier, life will be easier. We create with our thoughts. Make your world a better place by thinking lovingly about you and everyone around you.
- Feel Your Feelings Fully. Most of us try to run away from our feelings. We do this with exercise, work, sex, alcohol, drugs, spending and food. Running away from our feelings keeps us stuck in denial and trapped in the past. We have to feel our feelings fully, sitting with what we have coming up and allow the feelings to pass through us. Running away is avoidance of reality, life and what is. I know I did this for years. I was an expert at avoidance. You cannot be fully present for sex, love or any part of a relationship if you cannot be present with yourself and feel fully.
When we are disconnected from ourselves, we are also disconnected from our partners. Our conversations are shallow and meaningless. Sex takes on a cursory note – lifeless as if going through the motions. We don’t show up for our kids fully present, we don’t work to our best ability and we don’t succeed in life when we are
not fully present.
Living life to the fullest means turning all the lights on, igniting our soul, living in our passion – fully alive in every breath. I want this for you. Living in a state of gratitude for what we have now allows us to appreciate life more, it is how I live my life.
When we are not in our bodies, we are afraid of who we are. We are afraid of feeling our emotions fully. We shy away from deep connections and eye contact. We are not being true to ourselves or our partners when we are disconnected from ourselves. If you liked this article, please comment below, or share it with a friend. I appreciate you being here. I love you! Thank you to all of you have been following me and reading my blogs. To the Russian people, our ancestors are from a similar family tree.
If you have struggled with relationships and life and are tired of going it alone, Jennifer will give you the support, impetus, and tools to support your journey and empower you along the way. You will find your passion when you work with Jennifer. Jennifer is a gifted catalyst, who’s voice heals. She uses six different modalities to help her clients clear, shift and eliminate baggage, depression, sadness, suicide programs and addictions. Her books are available on Amazon.com