Do You Expect Too Much From Internet Dating?

Internet dating can be fun. Why am I hearing groans? I have some suggestions for you super sleuths out there looking for the perfect mate or soul mate. Once we shift our attitude and perspective we can look at dating as research. Research? Yes, research.

First of all, we think we know what we want, but do we really want someone who is an exact clone of ourselves? I know I don’t. We want someone who will stretch us, make us better than we previously were. Dating is a process of discovery not only about ourselves but about our potential dates. You might think that you aren’t attracted to someone until the final kiss good night and then whammo! We can fall in love with anyone if we decide. Here are some truths that we have to face to enjoy the dating process.

  1. No one is going to be perfect, no matter how much we might want a “perfect” match.
  2. Think of dating as research. Yup, it’s research into what you like and don’t like. If you think of dating as research it won’t feel like such a drag.
  3. Don’t expect to find Mr. or Ms. Right on your first, second or even tenth date. It may take 50 dates before you do.
  4.  We have to flirt.
  5. We have to look sexy.
  6. We have to try new things.
  7. We can’t make assumptions about other people from the way they look.
  8. Expect that some people won’t respond.
  9. Expect that you will encounter false profiles, it’s a fact of life that there are scammers on dating sites.
  10. Expect that most men will want to have sex with you. Men want to feel a connection through sex. Women want to feel a connection before we have sex. We can find a stalemate exists between what we want and what men want. We are wired differently. Men just aren’t women in a masculine body, they have different desires and motivations than women do.
  11. Expect men to be different than us women.
  12. Expect to spend some money on gas and a few coffees and drinks.
  13. Expect to spend some time wading through profiles, responding to texts and messages before you find enough spark to have a date.
  14. Some people will ghost you and just fade away without a sound leaving you to wonder what the hell happened? It’s okay. Just say, “NEXT!”
  15. Know that you are enough and that if you keep at it you are moving energy showing the universe you are serious. A man or woman might just sit down next to you on a plane, or in a movie that sees your beautiful nature.
  16. Don’t give up, love is so worth it!
  17. Expect to share quite a few kisses and hugs some of which you might enjoy very much!

How To Find The Best Matches

We have to have an idea of what we are looking for. Do you know your deal breakers? Will you date someone who has dogs and cats, when you are allergic or hate them? I suggest you don’t. Don’t date someone that has characteristics you hate. If you don’t drink, don’t date someone a second time who has a double martini on the first date. Sometimes, we have to go out with a few to narrow our parameters. However, narrowing parameters can also cut down prospects. Speaking of prospects, dating is like panning for gold. We might find some dirt here and some rocks there, but eventually we will find gold. My recommendation is to have fun with it, and be open to the possibility of meeting someone elsewhere, while you are on the Internet dating road. Go to meetup groups and join a tennis league or bowling league. Get out of your comfort zone and change your focus. Love is just around the corner but you won’t find it sitting in your living room every night.

Don’t ever give up on love. We are meant to be partnered. Our attitude is what makes dating fun. Maybe just maybe you might decide like I have to write a dating book that makes people laugh at all the crazy things that can go wrong, and also right along the way. Love is what lights us up. Love is what makes life worth living. Get out there and write your profile and do it on a few different sites for the best opportunities.

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