No matter how it happens the pain of betrayal is brutal. Okay, Kevin Hart didn’t cheat with his wife’s best friend, but he did cheat on his pregnant wife. He has admitted his mistake, but the damage has been done.
If the other party is our best friend, the pain is doubled. We feel rejected, unattractive, overweight, and even ugly. Our self-esteem suffers and we have difficulty getting out of bed. If we have children to care for, they may be the only people that we feel the slightest bit of motivation toward. Cheating is never easy. In fact, the wounding that occurs from infidelity crushes our self-esteem and makes us wonder why we are even alive.
I have been there. I know what it feels like to have my husband cheat and lie about it. I also know how trying to forgive someone that has hurt us so deeply challenges us on the deepest level. When betrayal happened to me, it wasn’t just lying, cheating and the fact that he didn’t want me anymore; he was also gay.
We feel rejected, angry, abandoned emotionally and we may even feel deep resentment and hatred towards our partner. All the emotions that we feel are very real. At some point, we have to pick ourselves up and move on, but how do we? I cried for three months afterward. I know what you are going through. I did, however, let go enough to drive him to his car that was impounded at the courthouse the day of our divorce. I forgave him that fast. Why? Because I did it for me. I knew I deserved better and so do you. I can help you get there and find love that works for you when you are ready.
The following guide will help you heal from the pain of betrayal:
- Know that you deserve to be loved.
- Someone cheats because they don’t feel good about themselves and are attempting to prove something to them.
- We attract cheaters because in some way we lie and cheat ourselves.
- Cheating doesn’t mean you aren’t attractive, beautiful or worthy.
- You are worthy.
- You are enough.
- Focus on yourself rather than the story of what occurred. Yes, it happened. I’m sorry that you experienced such pain and suffering. How you respond is your choice. When we keep repeating the same painful story we bring the past into our future.
- Revenge doesn’t make you feel any better.
- Allow yourself to let go of shame and guilt.
- No one can make us feel bad about ourselves unless we ALLOW IT. Choose something different.
- Spend time doing what makes you feel good about you. If that means listening to happy music, then do it. If it means dancing or going to the gym, get yourself up off the couch or out of your bed and do what brings you joy.
- You have cried enough tears. It’s time to put away the tissues and let the story go.
- Move out of self-pity. Self-pity is a very low vibration and doesn’t help you heal.
- You are not a victim. Somehow, some way, there is something out there that is better for you.
- There is a silver lining. Look for it. Find it and keep reminding yourself that there is a gift and a lesson.
- What did you learn from this experience? Did you allow another person to govern how you felt about you? Did you give too much to them and not enough to you?
- How can you find a way to turn this situation around and grow from this experience? Write in your journal about what you want that is different than what you had.
- Write 10 affirmations and say them each day.
- Listen to my podcasts every day and receive a free energy clearing. It will allow you to let go of sadness, grief, shame, and so much guilt. One woman whose husband cheated plugged her headphones in every night and listened so she could fall asleep easily. Not only did it help her ease her pain, sadness, and depression – her crown chakra began to open!
- Listen to my 11-minute audio recording of positive, loving affirmations and repeat them daily. If you only have two minutes, I’ve got you covered, here you go.
- Do what brings you joy. If going to the gym is what makes you feel better, do it. If dancing is what will get you out of your funk, crank up the tunes and dance. Moving your body will help to release emotions and negativity.
- Soak in Epsom salts to clear your negative energy and sadness. It will help you feel better. I have a great article about releasing in the tub I recommend.
- Do mantras like “I LOVE ME,” or “I AM ENOUGH,” “I AM SAFE, I AM SECURE.” in the background of your mind throughout the day. These mantras need to be played over and over for thirty or more days and will reprogram your unconscious mind. When I began doing mantras in 2007 on a regular basis, (every day for months) my mind chatter stopped completely. Mantras work. The mantra in the above link is a very powerful name of The Divine and will shift you, allowing you to feel loved.
- I’ll gift you with the first audio of my Infinite Love program so you can learn about yourself on a very deep level, shifting your self-sabotage and programming from childhood. Most of us attracted cheaters because somewhere in our past we didn’t feel good enough. The truth is that this belief that governs us isn’t supporting us. We need to reprogram it. We can’t-do it ourselves.
- Work with me privately and I will help you to overcome the depression, anxiety, anger, fear, abandonment, and feelings of not being good enough. This is the work I did to heal myself. What I do works. Each session you will feel better than the one before. Before long, you will be like my client Amy and have miracles show up and a loving man who is committed.
- Let go of the hate of men programs. Yes, you have them. I know you do. I had them too. I work with people in three ways, monthly, three-months or six-month packages. Ask me.