Sometimes our memory of past events is unclear. For those who can’t remember why they feel unloved or hurt there is a way to heal the past and overcome the pain and suffering even without the memory.
Children have tender open hearts. Like little sponges we absorb and learn from our environment and parents who model behavior for us. We can be upset by a look, neglect, being ignored not receiving the hugs or nurturing we needed and also by being criticized.
With his permission, I will share my client’s story and the experience he had healing his past. Lawrence is a relatively new client who came to me wanting to create a deeper connection and greater intimacy with his female partner. We worked on the tender inner child that was continuing to show up wounded in his committed relationship. Within a few sessions, Lawrence began to feel calmer. His mind chatter ceased and he was even able to spend a day with this estranged father after a five-year absence. We cleared the root cause of Lawrence’s issues in two different ways which ensured his emotional recovery. Instead of feeling abandoned and abused Lawrence felt loved and accepted and held compassion for his father.
We went back in time to the greatest trauma that he could remember. In one session Lawrence was able to talk about the event without emotion, the triggers gone. Once the event no longer held a charge for him, he was able to invite his father to spend an entire afternoon on his boat enjoying each other’s company. He said it was the most enjoyable time he had spent with his father in years.
It is a tremendous relief to no longer feel hurt or damaged by an event. We feel free of the suffering that the original trauma caused. Once the root cause is eliminated we can move through our lives without being constantly reminded of something sad or horrible and instead feel free and happy. Lawrence found his communication with his significant other was no longer emotionally charged and was able to speak his truth instead of stuffing his needs deep inside. Intimacy began to deepen for him and his female partner. Instead of hiding how he felt he was easily able to discuss his feelings.
Instead of spending a lifetime in suffering attempting to cope with the triggers within a relationship having the past healed allows us to move forward without the suffering finding joy in each moment rather. There is tremendous freedom from our emotional pain when we stop dragging the past into our tomorrow.
Lawrence’s comments to me afterward:
“What you tell me is always spot on! My life is so much better without all that past pain! I am able to see things more clearly without my hurt being front and center constantly!”