Overcoming Despair Healing Narcissistic Abuse

A narcissistic mother crosses our wires from birth regarding what love is leading to despair, insecurity, instability, codependency, emotional unavailability, and a filter that prevents us from seeing the truth in our mother.

We may seek validation outside of ourselves for a lifetime. We may attract narcissistic relationships, we may suffer from an inability to bond with our partners. Why? Early on when our little brains were still developing we had a mother that failed to nurture. From day one we felt unloved and worked diligently toward that end by attempting to make our mothers happy. We thought if we loved her enough, she would love us back.

Traits of A Narcissistic Mother

She Did The Best She Could

Our Inability to fill our mother’s cup left us feeling unworthy, and not good enough. We worked diligently to please our mother while she projected her anger as well as dissatisfaction at us instead of being unconditionally loving and accepting.

It’s Not Your Fault

We are hardwired for love. Our little hearts longed for bonding and acceptance. A smile, a sweet look, a soothing voice that never came. Instead, our mother lacked compassion and empathy using guilt and manipulation to get her needs met.

A narcissistic mother is incapable of bonding, connecting, or loving deeply which causes us to have our wires crossed. We may spend a lifetime trying to find validation through our mothers that never comes, which leads to despair, suffering, and a plethora of psychological issues that can plague us our entire lives if we do nothing to overcome them.

Your Mother Might Be A Narccisist if

  • you feel inadequate
  • you have low self-esteem
  • you have (or had) anxiety, depression, or intense fear and worries
  • you feel guilty and often shamed
  • you were blamed for your trauma
  • you feel isolated and out of balance
  • you lack self-respect
  • speaking up for yourself is very challenging (you feel like you are mute)
  • you have difficulty bonding
  • you have intimacy issues
  • you feel lost or no sense of identity
  • you feel or have felt emotionally numb
  • you attract narcissists and don’t understand why

The truth is that our narcissistic mother had her personal trauma that led to her psychological issues. She didn’t ask to be a narcissist. It happened due to the trauma she endured. Which is where our compassion comes in.

Your Relationship Can Heal

After working on myself for over three decades, my relationship with my mom has healed. It took courage, effort, and a never-give-up attitude. We speak on the phone nearly every day. Our relationship is now one of deep understanding and love. It is possible. I can help you find the way. This video is of my mother and I took at her home in Canada.

Scapegoat or Golden Child?

Our mothers created a sibling that like her is deeply broken, but accepted because they became a narcissist too. You may also discover that your sibling that is a narcissist also has a child that is a narcissist. They cannot help being more closely bonded to the fellow narcissist. They understand one another better than the sensitivity of the empath.

Perhaps you became the scapegoat, the one who bore the brunt of the blame, disregard, and disrespect. You lost yourself only to discover decades later that through the process of unbecoming you are a beautiful tender soul that deserves to be loved.

No matter the source of the trauma we need to heal it to be happy. Whether your mother is here or passed on, we need to heal to be happy with ourselves and our lives.

Trauma is the forcing function that leads to our discomfort. When the pain becomes too great, we find someone to help us overcome the past and let go of the pain. When we do, we feel lighter, we become free. I call this process UNBECOMING. {My Happiness Jumpstart three-part program allows you to begin this process on your own.}

Let GO

Letting go of the past isn’t easy as our brains try to make sense of what occurred, rolling thoughts around and ’round in our minds. The more we think, the deeper the grooves become of unrest pain, and suffering. If we wait too long, our body tells us through illness there is something amiss. These warning signs become louder and louder over time. Ignore the signs long enough and you may discover breast cancer, thyroid issues, or lung problems. Some people end up with Rheumatoid Arthritis or diabetes. All these issues come from the emotions we were unable to release on our own,

It took me over thirty years to heal the issues I created after childhood trauma. Fibromyalgia, Epstein Barr, anxiety, depression, sinus infections, pneumonia, cancer, you name it, I had it. Now those days are behind me and I help you discover the inner peace, self-love and acceptance that leads to a vibrantly healthy life of happiness and ease.

Your Inner Child Deserves Your Love

As we heal the past we find that we step into the ease of the flow of life. Life is beautiful as we become okay with whatever is. We cannot change the world outside of us without changing the world within.

You may not have the patience to wait thirty-five years to find inner peace and happiness. That’s where I come in. I know the ropes, I understand where you’ve been and can teach you the tools to change the programming of your mind and help heal your tender heart. Book your FREE DISCOVERY SESSION NOW!

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