How Do I Love Myself?

Self-love is the foundation for happy relationships and a happy life. When we don’t love ourselves, we tend to look outside ourselves, often people-pleasing, to manipulate others to show us kindness and love.

People-pleasing is a form of self-abandonment. When we attempt to make others happy, we end up in misery, wondering what went wrong.

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters
Jennifer Elizabeth Masters in Santa Barbara with dog, Karma, June, 2013

 

Let Me Count The Ways…..

If love is what makes the world go ’round why are so many people miserable, lonely and depressed? 

Over the years I have done thousands of readings and clearings for clients. The subject that continues to come up for my clients repeatedly is love. How to find it, how to keep it and why it continues to elude them? Lack of love, fear of loss, and insecurity are all components of a lack of SELF LOVE. What most people don’t realize is that financial lack is also a direct result of a lack of Self Love. When you love yourself completely you magnetize all manner of wonderful things to you, including money and people who will love you also. When we don’t love ourselves completely we attract others that have similar traits. Being in a relationship with someone that does not love and accept themselves completely means that they will not love and accept you either. This type of relationship more often than not results in codependency, addictive love, and abuse, rather than true love. Which is why so many people are unhappy in the relationships that they are in.

Is true love possible? ABSOLUTELY! Not by magic or waving a wand. Digging deep and healing the past, forgiving those who you feel hurt you, especially family members. When we heal the past we also heal our present and future. Letting go of concerns about what others think about you releases you from judgment and self recrimination. What others think of us is none of our business. 

How then can we attract people who will be honest, monogamous, kind, compassionate and love us for who we are? The answer is more simple than one might think.

We have to be the love that we wish to have. Loving and accepting ourselves completely, right now is the key. Not when we have the perfect job, or are the perfect weight, right now no matter what. We will never be perfect, but accepting ourselves as we are rather than expecting perfection allows us to be human, warts and all. The more secure we are as an imperfect individual the better. Being comfortable in our own skin and loving ourselves unconditionally allows us room to love others unconditionally. 

What are the key components to loving and accepting ourselves unconditionally?
How do I love myself? Let me count the ways……..
  1. Stay positive. Use positive affirmations to access the unconscious mind. Use these affirmations while your mind is in neutral (in the shower, driving, doing your makeup or peeling vegetables). Use something simple like: I LOVE ME.
  2. Be Aware of your thoughts and words. Notice what you think.
  3. Notice how your world is a reflection of you. As within, so without. As above, so below. If you are angry you will attract others who are angry also.
  4. Take care of yourself. Get enough rest and eat healthy food.
  5. Be kind to yourself rather than beating yourself up with your words and thoughts.
  6. Stop complaining. It only makes you feel bad about yourself and magnifies what isn’t going well.
  7. Focus on yourself. Don’t point fingers at others or blame.
  8. Don’t focus on the issues and drama of others.
  9. Recognize that you create your own reality with your thoughts, words and deeds. Whatever you think, say or do comes back to you. 
  10. Be kind to others. (see #5)
  11. Love without attachment. 
  12. Don’t have expectations of others.
  13. Let go of control, manipulation, perfectionism.
  14. Meditate daily. Regular spiritual practice helps connect you to your Higher Self or God self. 
  15. Live in the moment. 
  16. Let go of the past. Stop living in the future. Meditation helps with this.
  17. Forgive everyone. Do the Ho’oponopono Prayer to do so.
  18. Get to know yourself. Shocking, I know, but most people don’t have a clue what they like, want or don’t want.
  19. Do what you love.
  20. Have fun. Let yourself laugh out loud.
  21. Get outside and exercise. Walking outside will clear your energy. Do it often.
  22. Sing, dance and play. 
  23. Allow yourself to feel. Allowing your emotions to flow through you rather than wallowing in pain or avoiding pain is the healthier option.
  24. Keep stress to a minimum.
  25. Breathe deeply. Shallow breathing is a sign of low self esteem. You deserve every breath you take. BREATE DEEPLY!
  26. Get your energy cleared.  Clear patterns from past relationships and family issues.
Praise for Jennifer:

Thank you! I feel so much better. Today, something good happened to me, something that I wanted to happen last week but for some reason, it just wont happen. It seems like there was something blocking it. But today, it happened and I feel so great and positive. I hope the next days will be good too. Edward Nadir

Aaaaw THANK YOU for your help Jennifer! Your an amazing woman – very loving and inspiring! Love & Light to you & your family, especially your wonder dog karma! Beautiful family! Brittany Takai

Dear Jennifer, I waited few days to make sure the feeling stays..have to tell you: I had a pain on my left chest for the last 8 months. we couldnt find any explanation except stress and bad emotions. the morning I got your email the pain was gone and today its still the same. I use acupuncture for a long time so it may helped also but still the timing is really amazing! Thank you for the cleaning and for the good words. all the best- Hagit  

Just to give you an idea of how much you have meant to me, two months ago I quit drinking ANY alcohol(I wasn’t a heavy drinker), including gargling with Listerine, cold turkey and haven’t been back–I have absolutely no physical addiction now, tho I still miss the social aspects of drinking. Anonymous for privacy

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is a healed healer. She is a Master Energy healer, hypnotherapist, and certified Self Love coach. She has been where you are. Beginning her life as a codependent and finding love alluded her at every corner. She is now confident, secure and healed herself of depression, anxiety and fear. Her one-on-ne sessions are powerful. She is a channel and intuitive coach. With the ability to step out of the way she quickly finds the root of your issues so that healing takes place quickly. 
 

 

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