5 Ways To Create A Deeper Connection By Being Present

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Distractions are everywhere. There’s music playing, the television in the background and our PDAs to mess with, text messages coming in and phone calls to answer. In this day and age, we have to disconnect from those distractions and give others our full attention. When we give into distractions, we can leave others feeling unloved, unheard while we feel scattered.

I am currently visiting my adult off-spring in Colorado. I have a lot going on, a client in a healing crisis another about to be deposed that needs my help with a legal case, a visit to my daughter’s culinary school restaurant. I want to give each person my all when I am with them. How can we do this with so much going on?

When we are thinking of something else or attempting to answer texts or e-mails when we are with others, they feel ignored and unappreciated. If we are making love with our partner but focused on other tasks, our partner will feel it. Life is too short to leave our loved ones feeling ignored or unloved. Multitasking makes you emotionally unavailable.

We miss details, won’t notice a person’s body language or facial expression when we are doing too many things. How can we

simplify our lives to be more present with ourselves, others and loved ones?

  1. Make eye contact when someone is speaking to you. When we make eye contact with the one we are with, they feel heard. 
  2. Respond to the conversation. When you comment to another person, they feel you understand them. Understanding another leads to a deeper quality within our relationships and a closer bond. 
  3. Focus your attention. We are all looking for attention from another person when we are on the phone with them, or experiencing an in-person conversation. When you focus your attention on another they feel it; we develop trust when we are heard and understood.
  4. Listen actively. When we focus on what to say next, you are in your ego. Instead, focus only on what the other is saying. When they complete their story take a moment to consider a question to ask for more clarity. When you focus on what you want to say while the other is talking,  your presence is missing.
  5. Don’t judge. When we are in judgment, we are closing our mind to the infinite. We are multi-dimensional beings. Be open to a new idea, different options, and possibilities. Not everything has to be the way you want or thinks things should be. You might be surprised at the doors that open when you drop the judgment of others.

Mindful practices deepen with daily meditation. When we meditate daily, we slow our thoughts down and create a deeper connection with ourselves. Being present in each moment means you notice your feelings and emotions. Breathing in fully will allow you to be more present with each breath and ground you. I highly recommend taking even ten minutes a day to sit in silence and just breathe. 

You don’t have to be any particular religion to benefit from meditation. When you do, everything in your life becomes a meditation from walking to peeling vegetables, doing your makeup shaving or having sex. A life of presence opens more bliss and joy than one of distraction; I promise you.

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All Rights Reserved 2016               © JENNIFER ELIZABETH MASTERS
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