When we begin to date after a breakup, our past hurts remain inside our cellular memory. Emotions of rejection, betrayal, love unreceived, abandonment, anger and even resentment can surface in a new love when there is no reason. We always have choices, selecting the right partner sometimes means going beyond our comfort zone.
The risk is required to experience love again. Sometimes a very beneficial partner shows up, but we reject them due to our patterns from the past, judgment or fear. Let me share my story.
If you have been visiting my blog daily you probably already know my story. I will spare you the painful details. I only mention what is germane to this story. As a child, I was molested many times by four different men.
The first trauma occurred when I was five walking home from school when a neighbor invited me in for candy. Yup, the old candy and little dog trick. He had a Pug. To this day, I can’t connect with little Pugs. Though I have done almost thirty-five years of work on abuse, forgiveness work; Comet cleanser and Pugs hold a powerful memory of trauma and memory for me.
Each even we have that is traumatic creates patterns and blocks in our cellular memory. Sexual trauma freezes in the cells creating blocks from fear.
The programs created could mean we keep cycling back to those who have addictive personalities, are alcoholics or abusers. That was the case for me. Unless you were a rageaholic, abuser or alcoholic, or child of an alcoholic, forget it! I wasn’t attracted.
My mother had a psychic reading done years ago where the woman told my mother that if there were 50 guys in a room, I would pick the asshole every time! That was my programming.
Clearing Old Patterns And Programming
Fast forward: I did therapy. I went to a hypnotherapist. I became a hypnotherapist. I had energy clearing done. I became a master at energy healing. I cleared myself almost every day for twelve years. I cleared till the cows came home. I perfected this work by doing it on myself.
Behavior Has To Change
Till I began to choose differently, nothing changed. I had to step outside of my comfort zone to someone kind, loving, gentle that felt weird to me energetically because it was different than what I was surrounded by as a child. My current relationship is healthy, balanced and loving. As my resistance came up, I was on the verge of rejecting him several times because it felt so unfamiliar. I always gave away the men who were most loving, because I was used to addictive or abusive behavior. Though the programs were gone, I had to change my behavior. I had to CHOOSE DIFFERENTLY.
One of my clients who has graduated from my program is a producer in Hollywood. She is a beautiful, loving woman. Her father was an alcoholic and emotionally unavailable.
She habitually attracted deadbeats without income, that lied, cheated, were addicted to drugs or alcohol and mooched from her – like her father. It wasn’t until I coached her to go beyond her comfort zone and encouraged her to date a man that was kind, loving and healthy did she have a healthy balanced relationship.
Like Grooves In A Record
Our programming creates grooves in our brain like on an old vinyl record. When we keep repeating programs over and over and can’t seem to change, we have to reprogram our minds for healthy, balanced, loving relationships. We have to love ourselves enough to choose differently. The grooves deepen each time we repeat a pattern. It takes a lot of effort to go beyond old programming and do create healthy patterns to change the past.
We Need Help
Changing behavior is what I help people do. I offer encouragement, support, and energy clearings of past patterns so that new healthy patterns become dominant programming.
Our Fear From The Past
As we step into new behavior self-sabotaging thoughts, come up telling you “they aren’t good for you. You need to end this.”It can be quite a fight to resist ditching the good for the old familiar and unhealthy patterns.
It Happened To Me
I had my resistance to come up once I became vulnerable with my partner. I wanted to ditch him because it felt unfamiliar and uncomfortable. I resisted the temptation and walked myself through my old patterns. I saw my pattern of rejecting those who were good for me and opted for the bad boy or abuser.
We Need Help
To move beyond old patterns, we need someone who is grounded and loving to assist us. We need someone to talk us off the ledge when we feel we are in unfamiliar territory. Our unconscious programming tells us the new and unfamiliar is bad, when it’s not.
New Horizons and Opportunities For Love
When we open to new opportunities and change direction for ourselves, we can receive the love that is healthy and balanced. If you have patterns of attracting the same type time and again, this is the work I do. We can’t do it alone because we opt for the old rather than the unfamiliar. When ourfamily of origin was dysfunctional, we choose the dysfunctional every time.
As promised, beginning Monday, May 23rd, I am offering eleven lucky people that move quickly an energy session for $75.00 off my regular price. $150.00 for a one-hour energy clearing. This offer will last as long as there is space available. First come, first served! Here is my PayPal link and I will get you scheduled. Either phone or Zoom, which is a video platform. May 23rd until June 6th or until the eleven spaces are filled! Here is the payment link:PayPal