By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters
LOVE IS…….patient, love is kind. It has no envy, nor it boasts itself and it is never proud.
Love is one of the most talked about subjects, yet so difficult to define. Can you feel love without being with another person? It is possible to have love for a platonic friend? Is it possible to love someone without jumping into bed with them? Is it possible that long after death and divorce that we can still love these people?
True Love comes from within. Until we feel complete love and acceptance for ourselves true love will continue to allude us. We will attract relationship after relationship that will be empty, abusive and unfulfilling. When we don’t love ourselves completely we have low self esteem and tend towards negative expressions of love like addiction, jealousy, envy and unrequited love.
The answer is YES! You can feel love and be alone. Your heart can be so filled and overflowing with the feeling of love and not be in a romantic relationship. Not only is it possible to be in love with someone and not have consummated the relationship, but it is recommended if you want to begin a healthy balanced relationship. Loving someone after they die is not only possible but millions of people do it. Even after divorce, love does not end. Once the anger and resentment dissipates, the underlying feeling is love. Once connected in love, it does not stop. You cannot turn it off. The love still remains.
How you feel about yourself is what you attract
If you don’t love and accept yourself completely you will attract others that don’t love and accept you completely. They will try to change you. You will not be your authentic self. You will instead be the chameleon changing yourself to please your partner. When you change yourself for someone else you end up feeling empty, resentful and angry. Your partner will wonder why all of the sudden the person they initially fell in love with is no longer there. You can’t keep up a phony persona forever.
Longing To Be Filled Leaves You Empty
When you don’t love yourself completely you will not feel full, complete and confident. Looking for someone else to fill you, steady you and balance you will net you an incomplete person. Instead you will attract someone else who is coming from a half empty place looking for the other to fill them up. Two half full people does not attract a perfect relationship.
You Have To BE THE LOVE
I didn’t understand these concepts until I loved myself completely. Looking back at the men I attracted and how my relationships prior to self love and self acceptance felt, I recognize that loving me should have been my first priority. Until I loved me with all my warts and faults I could not completely RECEIVE LOVE. I felt empty and broken. I felt that I did not deserve love, not consciously, but unconsciously. I looked for ways to sabotage my relationships. I picked fights because I felt unworthy of being loved. I ran away because I was in fear of love. I dared men to love me. I could not feel their love deeply and receive it because I didn’t love and accept myself.
It has taken me over 30 years of struggle, pain, depression and introspection to finally love and accept myself. Until I completely loved and accepted myself I blamed my partners for my unhappiness. I looked outside of myself for fulfillment and happiness. I was lonely even in a relationship. Loving and accepting myself has changed all areas of my life. From my relationships with my mother, my children and my ability to be fully present for my clients. Creativity flows, I am fully present and able to process emotions easily. Instead of wallowing in self pity and sadness for days, my emotions flow and move, the way they were meant to. I have been where you are. I am not perfect. I know I never will be perfect. I am very happy with me the way I am. This expression of happiness extends to everyone I come into contact with. People can feel it. There is nothing fake or phony about me. I an authentically me. My heart is open and I am able to express myself on a deep intimate level. This means I can share myself without fear. I am always going to be a work in progress. We all are. This is what I have learned about love.
You Have To Get To Know YOU
Most of us put the cart before the horse. We are very quick to learn about someone else, but rarely do we invest this amount of time in ourselves. Before you can love another, you have to really get to know who you are. When we meet a potential partner, what is the first thing that we do? We get to know them on an intimate level. We get to know what they want, what they like, what they don’t want. We have to do this for ourselves before we can authentically be ourselves. Getting to know ourselves makes us more available for someone else. The more intimately we know ourselves, the better able we are to have intimacy in our romantic relationships.
To have the love we want we have to BE THE LOVE. That means we have to completely love and accept ourselves as we are. It does not mean we have to be perfect, it just means that we lovingly accept all our imperfections as part of the whole package.
Jennifer is a certified life, love and relationship coach and master energy healer. She has been where you are and understands what you are going through. One of her greatest gifts is to cut to the root of each individuals issues quickly. If you have not had success with love to date, isn’t it time to make a shift? Are you ready to experience love on the deepest of levels? They key to having the love you want is self love. Jennifer is a master at helping you get there. Her intuition is uncanny. Her compassion and sense of humor and ability to elicit our deepest fears and clear them is amazing. She offers private, group and video coaching.Work with me