By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters
Want More Joy?
How about laughter with sex? Women and men want to be happy, joy-filled and have more pleasure in their lives.
How do we do this? Communication, trust and authenticity are the foundation for a happier relationship. When communication is good outside of the bedroom, it is carried over into the bedroom.
Men need sex to have intimacy. Women need to have intimacy to have sex. I asked God while filling up my gas tank recently, “Why did you create us so differently?” The response surprised me. “If both men and women did not have different libido and sexual motivation, what do you think you would be doing ALL THE TIME!” I had a vision of a couple making love with wild abandon in the bedroom with three children crying and screaming and pulling at their mother’s arm hanging over the side of the bed……. “Mommy, when are you and Daddy going to be done, because we are hungry!”
If men and women were matched in desire and sexual motivation, we would spend our days wildly, dreamily and passionately devouring our lover’s. We would find anything less than love-making boring, and hum-drum. Work? What work? Dishes left in the sink, scattered on counter-tops and half eaten meals would sit on our tables, while we focused on our desire. Our children would go hungry, dirty and unsupervised. Our world would be in total chaos. I understand where God was coming from when he created us so differently. Someone had to be the one to say, “No, I have to take the kids to karate.” Or stop and feed the family instead of spending the day with our heels up in the air pleasuring one another.
We are wired differently. Not only do men think differently, but they come from a very different place when they think about sex. Women, on the other hand have many requirements to feel in the mood for sex.
Men can have sex when stressed. Men can have sex when there are dishes piled up in the sink and the laundry isn’t done. Men can even have sex when the sheets are dirty. Women on the other hand, need to be relaxed, present, stress-free, feel clean, loved, adored, romanced and have clean sheets to have sex.
Sex is so much more fun when you are in the flow. Rather than being focused on the technical aspect of sex, to be in the flow. Talking about what you like, and don’t like outside of the bedroom helps tremendously. Getting to know one another, first before we jump into bed together is important also. Knowing someone well can build trust and creates a connection so that sex is more enjoyable and fulfilling. A deep love and connection creates better sex, better love and deeper intimacy.
When two complete strangers have sex, it can be awkward and mechanical. Lies are often told to get the other into bed. Wouldn’t you rather have sincerity between you?
If you are a man and don’t understand women, or if you are a woman and don’t understand why your sex life isn’t better, listen to this fun-filled and informative interview with Coach Deb Bailey.
Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is a self love and sex coach. She helps women heal from dysfunction and sexual trauma. If you have codependent issues, look outside of yourself for love or have addiction issues, Jennifer can assist you with all of these issues. Jennifer feels that: When you love yourself and enjoy being alone with you, you will attract a partner who also loves and accepts you. Coming to a relationship already complete raises the vibration of the relationship to a higher level.