Kissing is a form of touch. It is intimate and brings the two of you close physically. A kiss cannot be the first form of touch in a relationship. Begin with a shoulder touch, hand holding or some less invasive form of touching first.
Sadly in many long-term relationships, kissing goes by the wayside. Kissing is a great way to begin the road back to intimacy and sex, but certainly not the first step. An embrace, caress, handholding are inroads to the more intimate moment of a kiss.
|Sexy, light flicks of the tongue|
Many people think that a sensual kiss involves deep tonguing and loads of saliva. I have had many first kisses with men who immediately jam their tongue down your throat thinking that this is a turn-on. It’s not. For first kisses too much tongue and saliva can be the difference between a one date wonder or going onto a second date and having sex.
Gagging on a sloppy tongue is far from sexy. This is a sign that their love-making will be sloppy and over too fast. Most women prefer how a sensual kiss makes us feel; sexy, alive and passionate. The space between the kiss, the anticipation of the next move, the smell of your lover’s breath and skin. Hopefully both clean, freshly showered. Not reeking of cologne or strong perfume. Be natural. Be yourself. Allow yourself to explore your own sensuality as well as your partner’s. Light tongue touch, rather than flat wide and too wet. A kiss is an exploration of what each other likes, who we really are. Sexual beings at our very core.
The Lips Come First
Touching her mouth with your tongue first is a turn-off. Lips need to come together first. The guy needs to move forward first, with the woman meeting his mouth. Kissing matches where you are in your process. You might go from zero to 60 in seconds, moving into deep kissing rapidly. Or you might be slower to be turned on, and his kiss is just barely turning on your element. A light nibble of the upper or lower lip with yours, a brush of your lips over theirs. No licking! You are not a Golden Retriever or a lizard!
The Ladies Are Getting Bored
It’s The Small Things That Matter
Kissing Other Body Parts
Women and men have many body parts that can be turned on with a kiss. Our cheeks, neck, fingers, hands, feet, inner thighs, stomach, are all erroneous zones to explore with kisses. Making love is not just about jamming a penis into a vagina. It is an all over body experience. Most women need between 20 to 40 minutes of play before they are ready to have an orgasm. Give it to her, kissing, turning her on, gently, slowly, rather than all in a rush, only to disappoint her, yet again. Your kiss tells her about what you’ve got and what is to come, yes pun intended.
- Fresh breath, natural scent. Clean and fresh is far better than a huge waft of cologne that could be a turn off (even if you like it).
- Make eye contact first. Look at your partner’s face, their mouth and into their eyes before you move in for a kiss.
- Move in slowly. Breathe in your partner’s scent. Breath, skin, and pheromones are all part of the experience. Sensuality is not about rushing. It is all about taking things slowly, being deliberate, teasing and anticipation. Notice your partner’s eyes, are they open to a kiss?
- Look your partner in the eyes and maybe just touch noses together bringing your faces together for a few seconds. The art of kissing is slow at first, building and then slowing again.
- Lean in and pause.
- One lip, upper or lower, first, with soft, moist but not wet lips. Soft full mouth without any tongue. Pause. Allow your partner to kiss you back. Don’t force yourself on them; they might back off.
- Some areas of the lips are more sensitive than others. Did you know that there is a chakra (energy center) right below the bottom lip that excites a woman? Explore what turns your partner on by trying different areas. Kiss along the sides of their mouth, then move to the middle.
- Don’t use tongue until they open their mouth. This is the signal that your partner is okay to move deeper with you.
- Watch and listen. Notice how your partner is breathing, or the sounds they are making which will let you know if what you are doing is turning them on or off. If their breathing becomes rapid, or they begin to moan, you know you are onto a good thing.
- There are so many ways to kiss. Learn some new moves. Watch some old sexy movies, like 9 and 1/2 Weeks, with Kim Basinger. Against All Odds, with Rachel Ward. Porn is not the place to find good kissing. Pornography separates you from yourself and your partner. It is not the way real people couple. (More on porn in another article).
There are great videos on kissing here: no porn, wholesome kissing to teach. Sweet Video on How To Kiss
I have included a sexy clip from a movie with Antonio Banderas, sexy badass, and Angelina Jolie. Watch and witness, listen to her words. Watch the interplay of her eyes on Antonio’s face. Eye contact, flirting with the eyes and a very sensual kiss.
Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is the author of Orgasm For Life, a guide for no holds barred sex. She writes from personal experience rather than book-learning. Jennifer is life, sex, and relationship coach with a difference. Compassionate, witty, and gets to the root of the issue quickly. She is a certified life coach, hypnotherapist, Master Energy Healer, and ego-less. Since
2012, she has been living the dream, happy, never lonely and fulfilled. She can help you do the same. Her private e-mail to ask questions or set up your private discovery session to see if her work is a good fit for you is:[email protected]
Working with Jennifer can calm your mind, and help you release and heal the following issues.
- low self-esteem
- sexual dysfunction