By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters
Living a spiritual life has created such joy for me. People ask me what I do that makes me so happy with my life every day while many people complain about not being happy with their lives. Some are even disinterested in sex. My assertion is that many people are disconnected from themselves, their partners and their issues. Avoidance has become a way of life for many. If you want to set your heart, life and relationship on fire, read this article completely and make some changes.
Life throws us curve balls, challenges and lots of changes. The way we navigate our individual journey changes over time. After we have experienced different types of loss, financial hardship, the death of loved ones and life-threatening illness, we begin to make changes in the way we live our life. The more wasteful we are with our energy, time and talents, the less joy and fulfilment we experience. Here are 15 ways people fritter their precious energy and time away. Changing these can return to you life-force, joy and even that elusive happiness.
1. Minimize television. The average person will waste nine years of their life sitting in front of the “boob tube.” There is a reason that phrase was coined. We sit in a vegetative state of avoidance and disconnection while watching television or movies. There is no greater time waster than watching television, not to mention the negative impact many of the shows have on our psyche. While sitting on the couch, there is little connection, conversation, touching or hugging going on. If sex happens while the t.v. is on, it is a quick disconnected blow-job or pure friction sex without meaning. Is this what you want for your relationship? Instead, spend time in face-to-face conversation with loved ones. Eat at the dinner table with the television off. Don’t have a television in your bedroom. Instead get outside in nature as much as possible, connect with the earth.
The Truth Is In The Statistics
Number of Americans who say they watch too much television: 49%. Number of Americans who watch t.v. while eating dinner: 67%. Number of videos rented daily in the US: 6 million. The average youth spends 900 hours in school, 1,200 hours watching television and witnesses 150,000 violent acts by age 18. Gives you something to think about when the rate of violence continues to escalate. More Telling Statistics About Television
The number of troops killed in Afghanistan and Iraq between 2001 and 2012 was 6,488. The number of women killed by current or ex-male partners during 2001 and 2012 was 11,766, nearly double killed through domestic violence than in war. Violence on television is part of our societal experience. Watching violence, diminishes the harshness and reality of these acts, by gradually numbing us. Television is an energy drain and a large source of fear and negativity for many. If you must watch T.V., make it happy and fun rather than violent or fear-based news or programming, which is really scary.
2. Be Present. There is nothing more important than giving your full attention to what is happening right now. Being present means making eye contact, focusing on what is being said and keeping your attention on this moment and the person whom you are with.
There is nothing more disrespectful than to be on a date with someone, or visiting with a loved one and be texting or talking to someone else on your phone. I experienced this recently with a friend. He kept glancing at his phone during our meal. Even glancing at your phone when you receive a text takes you out of the present moment and is disrespectful to the person you are with. Using your cell phone, answering the phone while with your loved one is classic avoidance. If you can’t be present with those you love, you can’t be present with yourself. Be polite. Be respectful. Turn your phone off or to silent when with another human being. Take time during the day to shut everything off. We each need quiet, solitude or to commune with nature without distractions for our soul.
Children are with us such a short time. They learn by our example. If you spend 50% of your time doing other things when your children are with you, you will find they won’t want to spend time
with you when you want to. Be present with your partner, your children, your family when you are with them. There is plenty of time to talk to those who want to talk to you when you are not physically with loved ones. Find another time to call them back.
Most of us barely remember only having a land-line. When we left the house, the phone rang and no one answered it. Now we have a phone with us in the bathroom, dressing room, car, even in the grocery store. For most of us, there are few times we walk out of our home without it. Most people leave their phone on all the time. There is an energy emitted by the cell phone and television that is not healthy. Turn your phone off at night. Consider turning the phone to silent during dinner, love-making, visits or conversations. When you do, the people you are with will feel appreciated, respected and loved.
Texting while driving is a side-effect of cell phone use. Most of us have looked at our phone while driving the car. Even glancing down for a minute could cause a fatal accident. One of my clients recently dropped an apple, bent down to pick it up and totaled her car. Fortunately, she is safe, it could have been deadly. Being present will shift your reality faster than anything on this list.
3. Reduce Social Media. Although many people use social media to promote business, connect with long-lost friends; spending more than an hour or two a day on FaceBook, Twitter, Linked In, Pinterest, etc. will make you frazzled, disconnected from yourself, real family and true friends. Those people you post your latest meal or vacation to don’t care particularly about what you are doing or saying. They have their own issues to deal with. Social media is one of the fastest ways to disconnect yourself from source energy and your High Self. Instead, pick up the phone and call your friends. Have a meaningful conversation about each other’s lives. Ask questions. Or better yet, visit your friends and family in person so that they can see your eyes, feel your hugs and know you truly care. Connect by phone or in person with someone you care about every day.
4. Stop Regretting The Past or Focusing On The Future. When we focus on the past or future we can’t possibly be present in our lives. When we are not present we won’t be happy either. We miss the good things while focusing on something that has either gone already or may never happen.
5. Speak up For Yourself. Most of us prefer to live in peace and harmony. When a situation arises where you give in to what others want to avoid conflict, you are not living your truth. True we sometimes have to compromise with people we love, if you are the one doing all the compromising, you are not living in your truth, you don’t have personal boundaries nor are you being authentic.
6. Take The Higher Road. Avoid complaining, or negative thinking. When we complain, it is as damaging and negative as
gossiping. Talking negatively about others, or your life drags you down. Look at the good in your life. Where is the silver lining? What are you learning from your experience? Know that your life is getting better and better everyday. Repeat this mantra: Every day my life gets better and better! When you focus on your life getting better it will!
7. Stop Comparing. Everyone is different. You are unique and beautiful in your own right. See your own beauty. Love who you are and what you have. Don’t look at others and think that they are thinner, prettier or smarter. There will always be someone that appears to have a better life. It does not mean they do. Know that you are special and be the best you that you can be! Every time that you compare yourself with another, you separate from Source energy and love.
8. Keep Your Attitude High and Your Critisicm Low. Your attitude creates your reality. Your attitude can shift your world. If you feel life is unfair it will be. Instead know that you will do everything in your power to be positive, think healthy positive thoughts, and not beat yourself or others up either in your mind or with your words.
9. Have Faith. Faith means you know the universe/God/Source has your back. Everything you think connects with other similar thoughts and reverberates out into the universe bringing more of what you are thinking back to you. Every thought you think is like a prayer. You can either be in faith or live in fear. You can’t be in both energies at the same time. Worry comes from fear, or lack of faith. MANTRA: “The universe always has my back!”
10. Love yourself. This really needs to be number one on the hit parade. Without self love we feel like a victim. We feel that life isn’t fair, that everyone is out to get us. If you are always trying to fix or control others you don’t love you completely. Read my first book, Odyssey Victim To Victory, it is my life story. It will help you move out of fear, and recognize you are not a victim.
11. Forgive Everyone Starting With YOU! You don’t need to have a conversation with each person to forgive them. Forgiveness is for you, not the other person. Remember non-forgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. I recommend the Ho’oponopono Prayer to do this work. It is simple, powerful and painless. Always begin with you when doing healing work.
12. Be Accountable. Sounds like work? Maybe it is. Being accountable for what you say, means you are true to your word,
without excuses. Say what you mean, and mean what you say. Speak your truth. Be honest. When someone asks you why you were late, tell the truth, rather than make excuses. When you are honest, authentic, and love yourself, guilt goes out the window. You tell the truth about your actions and man/woman up.
13. Take Responsibility. When we take responsibility for our life, health and actions we stop thinking of ourselves as a victim. We don’t blame others for situations in our lives. Instead we take responsibility. We recognize that something inside of us caused the
situation to occur. When we have a reaction to an outside stimulus, it is our problem, no one made us react a certain way. We can’t blame others for our emtions or responses to what they did or said. We no longer look to be rescued. When we move out of victimhood, we become co-creators with The Divine. We recognize our own inner power. We align ourselves with our Divinity. When we recognize and take responsibility for our lives we become emotionally mature.
14. Commitment. Your commitment to yourself, to God, the Universe and others deepens your experience of life. Being committed to be a good parent, a spiritual being, a loving partner requires discipline. Honoring your commitments is all about your word. At the end of your life, your word and honoring your commitments to yourself and others is all we really have. Commitment is honoring yourself and others. You may commit to yourself to meditate every day. You may commit to create a business that serves humanity in some way. There are many ways to commit. When I committed to serve The Divine, I had no idea what or how things would change in my life. But change they did. My life became infinitely more meaningful and purposed filled. With that fulfillment came deeper happiness.
15. Set An Intention. When we set an intention for our life, our purpose and each day, we are placing a blueprint over our world. We are stating that we are creating our day with a certain focus. Intend to live each day as a loving, accepting, being. Or intend to see the beauty in all things as you go about your day.With intention comes clarity. Focusing on what we want with clarity allows you to make
your dreams come true. When we set an intention for our life, it needs to be clear, focused and positive. Setting an intention for your day can change the outcome. Rather than allowing things to just unfold in chaos an intention helps to set the tone for your day and life.
If you begin to consistently make these changes in your life, you will find your relationships improve, you will become happier and more peacefilled. If you want a leg up and some accountability, contact me so I can partner with you. I will compassionately kick you in the butt, ever so gently!
You can hear Jennifer on Straight Up Sex Talk with Linzi Levinson. This show was all about our beautiful men! Erectile dysfunction is the subject. From the causes to cures. You won’t want to miss listening to hear how you can prevent and cure erectile dysfuncion. Thank you to Linzi who is the most gracious of guest and the consumate professional radio hosts. Or on Jennifer’s show: All You Need Is Love heard on Tune In and BBM Global LIVE on Thursday nights at 8:00 PM EST/5:00 PM PST. The archive should be up in a few days after the last recording.