When we are young and our heart’s are pure, we have the ability to open up easily and allow someone in. As we experience hurt, betrayal, abandonment, lying, cheating or abuse, we begin to shut our hearts down. When our hearts are closed we begin to turn away opportunities to experience wide-eyed wonder and amazement, because we are so afraid of being hurt.
The older we get, if we have lived fully, we may have lost count of the number of painful experiences in relationships we have had. If we were put down, emotionally abandoned or betrayed these experiences jade us. Friends and family can also betray us and cause us painful experiences. Our tendency is to only allow someone in so far, protecting our hearts from further hurt. The problem is that we are not loving fully and we certainly are not thriving.
I know first-hand what betrayal, rejection and abuse can do. Each time someone puts you down, a little love is chipped away. Over time, you may feel that there is no love left. Sometimes we become hardened or sceptical that anyone could really love us, without hurting our hearts. Many married people stay together, but separate from their spouses, living an almost robotic existence. Married, but not loving each other.
All You Have To Do Is Choose
All it takes is one person with the desire to repair the relationship, or get assistance from an outside source, like me. Remember you can’t solve a problem with the same mind-set that created it. Having an outsider guide the two of you through the process of forgiveness and letting go of the past, you can move into the present.
Wounded People Hurt Others
When we are hurting we cause pain to those closest to us. We lash out – even react emotionally to those that love us. Those who are closest seem to get hit the hardest. Sometimes, we are actually daring someone to love us.
There was love there once. It is still there, under the hurt, the painful words, bleached clothing or damaged hearts. Our relationships are all about us. Our partners reflect back to us what is going on inside us. If we have conflict in our relationships, it is not
that we are a victim. We have internal conflict. We are at war with ourselves. Believe me, I have years of personal experience with internal conflict. My relationships involved warring, arguing and unrest. I did not recognize that I had an internal battle raging within me.
We Attract What We Are
If we are in fear, we attract relationships where we will find many things to be afraid of. If we are afraid of anger, we will attract partners who rage and yell. If we have low self esteem, we will attract others who may be addicted, lie or cheat on us, or abuse us in some way, because we feel unworthy of love.
Love Takes Risk
To love fully, you have to allow yourself to risk everything. I recently met a man who wanted to date me, but wouldn’t tell me his last name. He had been wounded and had something to hide. You can’t fall in love if you won’t allow someone to know who you are. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable takes courage, but is so worth it when love arrives on your doorstep. Without vulnerability you are not allowing the opportunities in the universe in. You are saying a very clear, “No, not yet.” When you do, love will allude you.
Take The First Step
Hire me to coach you through becoming vulnerable and allowing love in. I will lovingly and compassionately guide you through processes that will heal your damaged beautiful heart and lead you back to the love that you truly are. Your radiance will shine through again, as you connect with your True Self. I love you already! Allow your light to shine, stand up and be all you truly are. You already have what you need inside you. I just help you remember.
Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is the author or Orgasm For Life, Odyssey Victim To Victory and a new book which shall remain a secret for now. She guides you lovingly to see the truth of who you are so that you can allow love to flow and your radiance to shine. When you lovingly accept yourself the way you are, everything in the world is brighter, people will be attracted to you because you radiate love back to them. You will find joy living in the present.