When The Pain Becomes Too Great

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

My daughter in grief after her father’s death

Pain is a part of life. Pain can be a physical experience, it can also be emotional. We feel pain when we have a break-up or divorce. We can try to hide our miser, but it shows up on our faces. We experience pain when we have a loss of a loved one through death. Sometimes the emotional pain is so great that it causes a block in our heart, which can cause us physical pain or a heart attack. Yes, a broken heart can result in a heart attack.

When we experience emotional pain, we can suffer. Suffering comes from attempting to avoid pain. Turning away, running away does not net a positive result. Avoidance of pain is what creates our suffering. 

Sometimes we have a family secret locked away inside of us. We don’t want to tell anyone, for fear of rejection or worse; perhaps abandonment. Keeping deep secrets inside creates a fracture in our soul. Secrets tear us apart. Secrets destroy trust. Holding onto a deep secret can also cause us to become ill. The energy of the secret held inside can bring up fear or anxiety. 

Keeping a secret locked away from someone close to us keeps us from experiencing deep intimacy. Many of us have a fear of intimacy because we are afraid we won’t be loved and excepted if others knew who we truly are, or the truth of our past.

Releasing The Pain

Part of our healing is letting the secret out into the light. Talking about what we are experiencing can be a form of release. Last night I discussed my past pain that I experienced in my past on my radio show, and more energy surfaced for me to heal and let go. Crying is a form of release. Making love can be a way to move our energy, if we can be raw, open and completely vulnerable. Often this openness changes our relationship for the better, resulting in a deeper intimacy or closeness. Intimacy deepens our bond of love.

We can’t expect another to take our pain away, it is not possible. No one can fix us. Looking to be rescued makes you a victim. You are not a victim. Owning your pain, expressing it, through journaling, or speaking about it can help it move. 

One thing I will tell you, letting it go, by feeling it completely, allowing it to flow through you is the best way. If we choose to stuff it back inside when it is attempting to come up, it will cause you issues. It could return with a vengeance when you least expect it.


There is no timetable for healing grief. Everyone has their own experience. If we have lost a child, the emotions we feel are intense because we often blame ourselves thinking we could have done more. We feel it is wrong for a child to die before their parents. Guilt can make

grief more intense. Guilt and shame are the lowest vibrational emotions we can experience. Try not to stay there. Forgive yourself. 

Three years later, my daughter is still processing the loss of her father. It took me about three years to get over the loss of my lover, John Armbruster. The fact that he died right after sex made his death infinitely more intense for me. The manner by which someone dies can impact us strongly. When someone dies in what appears to be untimely, that can feel very troubling and challenging, especially when the person is young. 

My father transitioned over 26 years ago. I still think about him, but the pain is gone. The love remains the same, (thank you Gavin Rossdale or Bush).

Writing Love Letters

Writing a love letter to ourselves, or our loved one can shift our energy and help to release our pain. Whether our loved one is still on the planet, or not, writing a letter can help you release emotion.  


Asking questions can help you move your energy. Following are a few to get you started.

Ask what was the gift that this person gave you? What lesson did their death teach you? There is always a silver lining. We just have to look for it. Asking questions often gets you to the bottom of your pain. Did you do all you could do? What could you have done differently? Would it have made a difference?

Are You Your Own Perpetrator? 

When we feel like a victim, we often beat ourselves up. Judgment and self-criticism is not productive. Stop beating yourself up and ask questions instead. You will feel better. I promise. Your energy will move and you will feel more whole.

Pain can be an incredible motivator. It certainly was for me. Pain was what spurred me onto healing my past emotional trauma from abuse. It took a long time for me because it was before coaching; I did my healing alone. I tried many different things till I found the best combination for moving energy quickly. Through my personal work, I developed a program to help people heal quickly.

Learning hypnotherapy and energy healing helped me release trapped emotions, blocks depression, and anxiety. Now I use these

modalities along with the Akashic Records to help people release their emotions, blocks and limiting beliefs with greater speed and ease. The Akashic Records help as I channel information from The Ascended Masters about what your core issues are. 

Why Are We Here?

The bottom line is, you are here to heal, grow and evolve. In the process of growing, giving back to the universe makes you feel purposeful, and fulfilled. When we are fulfilled we live in joy. We feel we are doing something for the good of all, rather than for selfishness. Evolution is our soul purpose. Recognizing who you truly are, being authentic, vulnerable, loving and accepting is the goal. 

Loving you is what will bring you peace, total acceptance and draw wonderful experiences to you. When you do, you will be in full bloom, firing on all cylinders. I await your phone call to be an emissary of light for your growth. 

With all the love that I AM,



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