If you are looking for a Soul Mate relationship, you will want to read this all the way to the end. If you are looking for a committed Soul Mate relationship, getting a guy to commit to you will take this!
Historically, there have been songs written, movies created and thousands of books about the differences between men and women’s needs. Sometimes, the translation is lost or we just don’t get it. Men here is your chance. I told you I would support you! Women this is for you. If you are in a relationship with a man, looking for love or considering dating you need to look within. Can you give your man what he needs? A supportive relationship involves each of us giving our lover what THEY need. Men may have difficulty vocalizing what they need. I am their advocate here.
Men want companionship. They want someone they can let down with, enjoy a bottle of wine, dinner, sunset, sunrise and share the experiences they wish to discuss with you. Men want a lover they can be themselves with.
What Is Companionship?
In a woman’s words, it means friendship. Of course, your man doesn’t want you to burp and fart like the men they might have a beer with, but if you’ve got ’em smoke ’em! Donald Sutherland has countless stories about his wife of forty years farting when they first met. He married her and has stayed with her throughout her expulsions and loved her anyway. That is part of, but not all of companionship. It is accepting their natural state, without derision, criticism, and complaint.
Companionship means someone you love to share your life with, sunsets, travel, and all of life. A companion is someone you want to be with because they understand you and love you anyway.
Men Want Acceptance
Women think they are helping a man by critiquing their words, spelling, actions and even thoughts. We are not helping we are criticizing. Unconditional love is required for a loving. supportive relationship. If you complain about your man’s work, actions, ineptness you are tearing down his self-esteem, not raising him up and supporting him. Put the shoe on the other foot, would you feel he was helping you if he told you your sweater made you look like your grandmother? Would you feel loved and accepted if he told you your dinner sucked and he would rather have eaten at McDonald’s? No, you wouldn’t. So don’t do it to him.
Men Want to Be Appreciated
I remember being young and stupid, yes, I look back and see how I missed the mark. I was married to a handsome, intelligent man who worked very hard to support our family. He travelled a lot in his work, was away quite a lot, leaving me with our children. But he was doing what he thought a man should do – making money. He made a lot of money over the years. I even married him because I knew he was going places. I didn’t appreciate his long hours, dedication to our family through his work. Be careful what you wish for you just might get it, I did!
The fact that he missed us while he was away and wanted nothing more than to be home with us. He loved gold and I resented this time away from us. Yet, after giving so much to his work-life, he needed to cut loose in a sport he loved. I didn’t get it. I divorced this man who gave me everything material I ever dreamed of. We were wealthy by today’s standards. Was our marriage perfect? No, it wasn’t because I didn’t love myself. I didn’t appreciate what I had. I blamed him for my unhappiness. I didn’t appreciate him for what he did or was doing to support us. When was the last time you told your man that you thought he was an amazing lover? Do you appreciate the fact that he never misses your birthday? Or do you focus on the fact that he doesn’t buy you what you wanted?
Appreciation means to be grateful to our men for their handiwork and their efforts to bring home the bacon, or fix something. Men take care of fixing issues. It is what they do. It is what they are wired for. Thanking them for painting the doors, windows, fixing the leak in the bathroom vent on the roof, or cleaning the gutters. Appreciation means saying thank you without criticism. Just because the task wasn’t completed to our satisfaction is no reason not to give gratitude with love. Women need to give up having things done our way all the time. Seeking perfection in everything will lead to an unhappy relationship beginning with you. Sometimes we need to just say “Thank you for doing that, I really appreciate you.”
Men want to be respected. If you don’t respect your man, your relationship is dead in the water. You won’t have deep intimacy or the expanded love that you could have. Without respect, men will feel less than they are. A lack of respect will kill a loving relationship faster than anything. If you don’t respect yourself, you won’t respect anyone else either. Women who have low self-esteem often don’t respect themselves and need to work on this for their personal happiness and growth. It was one of my issues also. I didn’t even recognize that I didn’t respect myself. Often disrespect for the self comes from childhood trauma or molestation. (Call me or e-mail for this one!) What does disrespect look like? When we disrespect our men, we basically emasculate them. Yes, we cut off their balls with our words or criticism. Then we wonder why they are so gutless?! We need to revere our men. Yes, and they need to do the same for us. Women are responsible for how the relationship travels. We set the ground rules. Include healthy respect or you will be very sorry. The tone you request something or deliver a question speaks volumes. It is not necessarily your words but the tone that needs to be even, and loving. Cut the bitchiness or sounding like you are a Demon-seed. Remember you will win many more rounds with honey rather than vinegar. Play your cards with some wisdom. SEX With A Capital “S!” Men are wired to express themselves sexually. Without regular sex, their balls feel like they will explode (so I am told). Pressure builds every few days without ejaculation and they need to express this urge through sex. Women don’t understand this because we don’t have testicles. Sex is a natural expression of our humanness and sexuality. Sex is a part of a loving relationship. Without sex, there is no intimacy. Sex opens men’s hearts to express their deepest emotions, desires and brings them closer to us. When women refuse sex or don’t want it, their men feel rejected, unloved and unappreciated. Part of being a man is the ability to lovingly pleasure their partner. Men show their love for us in many ways, the biggest though expression for most men is sexual. It is where men feel like men. Taking sex away from men creates derision, separation and shuts men down. Sex is the greatest expression of our appreciation for them, their commitment and what they do for us. Put all these together and you will get your man to commit to you. Leave off any one of these critical components and you will miss out on his greatness and deepest love. I would love to hear what men think. Please write me an e-mail or message me on FaceBook. How accurate is this for your situation?
Don’t forget this Wednesday for the last live class of Manifesting Money and Men. You don’t want to miss all the secrets I share about manifesting and Co-Creating your fabulous life and love!