3 Ways We Unconsciously Turn Love Away

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

I have just returned from San Jose and a powerful three-day retreat with 700 of my closest friends:  healers and entrepreneurs. We committed to growing and shed our crap. I cried, I resisted, and I shifted my perspective in so many ways. 

When we are open to receive new perspectives, opportunities present themselves. I even posed for photos with an Iowa farm league hockey team! I have stepped up my game and opened my heart a little more. Opening my heart further is allowing me to be more vulnerable with my clients and in my writing. We will get back to my Orgasm For Life Book tomorrow.


Being vulnerable means that we allow others to see us authentically. When we are vulnerable, we become more open to expressing our deepest truth. Opening the door of my heart is allowing me to reveal all that has changed in my perspective through a willingness to look at my shit! One of the issues I looked at this past weekend is my fear of men leaving me by dying. 

If a past event has been traumatic, we often hold that trauma in our cells without realizing it. The emotions of horror, terror, and fear stay within our cells. Consciously releasing trapped emotions from our bodies shifts the energy we emit. We attract what we are.

After enjoying our second date at the beach, we said our goodbyes in the parking lot. As he got into his vehicle, I turned toward my car thinking briefly, “I wonder if I’ll see him again?” The thought passed through me quickly. I didn’t recognize the emotion that powered the thought. With a very slight turn of my head to the left, I felt a CRUNCH! My shoulder and neck seized up and was completely frozen. I was in immediate physical pain.  The physical manifestation of my emotions = PAIN! I knew I had created it. I had to pay attention to see what this was about for me.

My unconscious belief that all men die or leave was coming up with a vengeance. I have had two men die and three cheated. One event could leave someone scarred. Two deaths and three cheaters left me feeling untrusting of myself when it comes to choosing men. I listen carefully and watch to see if actions align. When words and actions are not congruent, it is a big sign that they aren’t honest. The man I am dating had very similar core values to mine. He is authentic, honest and vulnerable.

I felt that my past experiences led to me being insecure in ways I hadn’t been before. I had to step into the void and take a risk. If I didn’t, I knew there wasn’t a chance of finding love.

My shoulder and neck seizing up immediately after my date left were a sign I was beginning to feel something, and it scared the heck out of my body! Shoulders are all about our ability to carry out our experiences joyously. Neck problems are about refusing to see other sides of a question. Stubbornness and inflexibility are both issues related to the neck. Who me? Who’s calling me stubborn? I thought I was pretty flexible. Maybe my body knows differently.

My shoulder began to heal while in San Jose. As I approached our third date, I noticed my shoulder was getting tighter and more painful. My body was telling me about my unconscious beliefs. Each time we were getting together, my shoulder seized up. Four times is a charm, right? I had fear stuck in my body from the death of these two

men. I found a man who was lovely, spiritual, kind, mindful, gentle, strong and tall. There was great potential here. Our age difference was my issue not his. I was afraid he would leave me or die. I am currently clearing this trapped emotion from my cells. Recognizing the problem is the first step. Awareness shifts everything.

3 Ways We Turn Love Away
  1. Thinking you will never find anyone that will accept you.
  2. Thinking you aren’t good enough, young enough, pretty enough. ENOUGH! YOU ARE ENOUGH!
  3. Making false judgments about what other people think about you. Oh yes, you do! We believe others are having certain thoughts about us: “You think I’m too old for you. You think I’m too fat! You think I’m not your type.” Making a false assumption ruins our chances at finding lasting love. Assuming is a form of self-sabotage.
To be completely honest with you, I began dating a delightful man 17 years my junior. I talked about the elephant in the room on our first date. He said he was fine with it. I brought it up on our second date. He said, “I think you are beautiful!” He went on to say he found me to be a hottie. I had to recognize that my feelings were my feelings. I was projecting my insecurity (yes, I felt insecure about our age difference) on him. It was false. I have let it go! Own your crap and get out of your way!

Don’t blame someone else for what you feel about you. In answer to your burning question: yes, we are still dating. We aren’t rushing anything; we are allowing a friendship to grow and are building a foundation from the ground up. Sex too soon places the emphasis on the physical and diminishes a connection on a soul level. It can also show a lack

of respect for each other and creates a false impression of trust. How can you have trust when you don’t know the other person? Trust is built in small increments a little at a time. Once you trust each other, an opening occurs, then love-making becomes soulful, reverent and sacred. That is what I want. What do you want? 

We All Have Issues
When we commit to grow and evolve, we turn our reflection inward toward ourselves. Resistance to notice what is going on inside ourselves causes us to blame others for our circumstances even our unhappiness. If we aren’t growing and evolving, we are dying.

How Can You Lovingly Accept All Of You?

Everyone has shadow selves. Our shadow self is the darkest parts of ourselves we would rather ignore. It could be old behavior, hoarding, blame, not accepting responsibility or emotions we haven’t dealt with and released. Turning our focus inward and looking at ourselves with a soft focus is what my work is all about. When we look at our dark side, we shed light on it. With light and awareness, we begin to shift. We let go of old beliefs. We can be open to healing modalities to release energy and allow our truest version of ourselves to emerge:
  1. Drop the baseball bat. Stop beating the crap out of yourself.
  2. Let go of the magnifying glass. Focusing on your faults and flaws makes them bigger. Instead, lovingly accept ALL OF YOU! Focusing on your flaws isn’t helping you; it is hurting you. See the good in you!
  3. Soften your gaze. Look at yourself with eyes of love. Treat yourself as if you are your lover. 
  4. Everything happens for a reason. Let go of the past. It served you well. It brought you to this place. It taught you a lesson. It made you who you are. It gave you a book or two to write. 
  5. Be grateful for everything you have. Gratitude for the lessons, the pain, the sorrow, and the suffering is a way to accept yourself lovingly.
  6. Let go. Holding onto old hurts makes us sick. If you can’t let go on your own, hire a loving coach that has been where you are. We can’t do this alone. It took me 30 years of searching, healing and deep introspection to become happy with me as I am – alone or with a partner. I can shorten the time it takes to get you there because I have been where you are. I know what works and what doesn’t.
What You Are At Your Core

The soul essence of each and every individual on this planet is LOVE. Yes, my friends, everyone has love at their core. Our life circumstances, hurt, fears, anxiety all load us up with a pile of crap that doesn’t serve us and bogs us down. I would love to partner with you to empower you to find the love within so that you too can live each day in harmony, happiness and love! 

If this article helped you,  please share it with a friend. Sharing is caring! If you are ready to take your life, relationship, or self-esteem to the next level, book your FREE discovery session right now! 



Aphrodite Effect is all about the effect of LOVE on all that we do. Venus was the Greek Goddess of love. She was an ageless beauty, powerful, strong, respected, sexual and knew who she was. She loved herself



fearlessly. Love gives us power, ageless beauty and deep connection. Set up your FREE discovery session with me here. [email protected]




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