Our mothers are the first experience of love in our lives, causing us to work on the issue of loving our entire lifetime. Many of us didn’t get what we wanted, just what we needed and therefore have a great deal to heal with our mothers and the idea of what love is and where it comes from.
Before I dive into the very deep subject of mother-love, I want to wish all of you who are mothers a Happy Mother’s Day! Today is the day where we are allowed to indulge in the decadent (waistline be gone!), bask in the glory (stop laughing!) and remember the day we gave birth to those little bundles of joy (bouncing poop-machines!) Yes, you could have had several trips to the French Riviera on the money spent on our children. Yet we chose to forgo the luxury trips and spa lifestyle to raise healthy adults.
I remember attempting to save my marriage to Bill with a planned child. Thankfully, David has grown to be a handsome, well-adjusted and happy man, mostly due to his strong character. Having a child as we all know will not save a marriage, and is the last thing we want to be doing when our marriage is on the skids. Babies do grow up, which is a good thing, but can you remember the way your newborn infant smelled? I do. Nothing compares to the smell of a brand new babe all snuggled up to your breast.
I remember each birth with great detail. Now if you can ask your mother if she does?
Why Do We Struggle So With Our Mothers?
Our mother may be the bane of our existence. We may run hot and frigid in our relationships with our them. Is it any wonder? Our mothers are the ones who are supposed to nurture, teach, admonish, praise, raise, mold. With all that a mother has to do it is no wonder that our relationships are a challenge and may take our entire lifetime to come to terms with. Babies don’t come with lesson books or guides. We all make mistakes when it comes to raising our children. We are not perfect and certainly works in progress. We need to forgive ourselves AND our mothers for what they did and struggled with themselves — self-love.
Compassion always helps when we struggle to love someone else. We have to remember that what we see in our mothers is also hidden within ourselves. We can’t possibly come out of a womb without some sort of impact or imprint from the point of the first contact. Our mothers have the greatest influence on us above any teacher, lover or husband.
Like the Rolling Stones song, “You don’t always get what you wa—-ant, you get what you need!
Days Of Our Lives
Yes, our relationships with both our children and mothers can run like an 80’s television soap opera. We might enjoy the wash, rinse, repeat cycle for decades wondering if anything will ever change. As we begin to lovingly accept ourselves we magically also begin to recognize that our mother really did love us, even if she had an Ozzie Osbourn way of showing it! Like Burger King, She did it her way!
Enjoy this video I recorded last year with my mother, she will be 97 this July. She didn’t feel like dressing up or putting makeup on for this video, as it was very hot and she doesn’t like heat. My mother to this day has a killer wardrobe that would make the best Fashionista green with envy!
Happy Mother’s Day to you. Enjoy your day and remember this too shall pass. Every day we learn more about ourselves and our mothers. Loving them as they are where they are is the best course of action. Remember they gave you what you needed to involve not what you Wa-aaaaanted! I love you! Enjoy your day you are beautiful the way you are!
Are you wondering how you can navigate these changes alone? You don’t have to. It took me over thirty years to come to a place of loving acceptance for myself without a coach. You have my learning, wisdom, and experience to fall back on, enjoy a thirty-minute FREE discovery session or get on my calendar to have a private session with me. I would love to help you design your life on your terms to achieve success and happiness in all areas of your life, like me.