“A Sufi mystic who had always remained happy was asked…. For seventy years people had watched him, he had never been found sad. One day they asked him, ‘What is the secret of your happiness?’ He said, ‘There is no secret. Every morning when I wake up, I meditate for five minutes and I say to myself, ‘Listen, now there are two possibilities: you can be miserable, or you can be blissful. Choose.’ And I always choose to be blissful.’Osho
Jennifer at the Grand Canyon, 2013
For years I looked for happiness in my relationship, work and my family. I kept coming up empty. It was not until I looked within that I found it permanently.
Life is what we make it. Why not make it a happy one. We know that happiness means we will live longer, being angry resentful and perfectionistic shortens our lives. Women are notorious for looking outside – for a man to complete them and make them happy. Many after 5, 10 or 20 years come up empty, blaming their husband for their unhappiness.
I did it! I searched from one man to the next, looking for that unbridled passion for living. No one can give that to you. It is your gift. It is your courage to live fully, your desire to be fulfilled, your passion to experience life to the fullest that brings it to you.
I remember when I was first married to Bill Gates, living in Maryland with our first son, Adam. It was all I had ever dreamed about, yet I was not happy. I had a perfect, healthy son, I was married to a handsome, intelligent man who had a great career and promising future, yet I was not satisfied with my life. I felt empty inside. I felt that something was missing. I thought it was that I missed my family in Canada. Yet, when they came to visit, although it was fun, pleasant and wonderful to have them there, I was still empty inside.
There was a point at which I recognized after 3 marriages failed, that the happiness I was looking for was a choice. I recognized that I was responsible for it. I decided then and there that I would choose to be happy. I would stop looking for it, stop searching outside of me and just be. I became happy with me. It was not instantaneous, but little by little, I learned that I needed to be happy with myself to be happy. I had to learn how to love me, no matter how I felt, how I looked or who I was married to – or not.
I began to fall in love with me. I looked within, asking myself questions. What made me happy. When did I feel the best. When did I feel satisfied. I began to let go of trying to be the perfect little girl my mother wanted. I let go of other’s expectations of me. I became my own person. I was no longer a people pleaser, trying to make others happy by lying about who I was. I began to shine my light brightly. Instead of worrying about how small others felt near my light, that was up to them to take care of. Other’s feelings were no longer my responsibility.
Jennifer in Georgia
I did what I loved. I became a Master Gardener. I formed my own landscaping company, because I was passionate about gardening and plants. I did it for 11 years until it no longer held that passion any longer. I studied and learned about Metaphysics, hypnotherapy, energy medicine, Traditional Chinese Medicine and began to study to be a life coach. I took time to learn and grow. I spent time alone. I began to be a better parent, mother, friend. I lived in the present instead of the past or the future. I loved being me. I recognized I was not perfect, but that was okay. I knew what my faults and flaws were, but did not focus energy on them. Instead I focused on the good, the fun, the bliss. I focused on what made me feel good.
I meditated every day. I began to teach meditation to others. I awakened fully. I experienced life to the fullest. I moved beyond my fears of everything. I became fearless!
I am an adventurer. I love life, I enjoy travel, I love to garden. I was born in Toronto, as a flight attendant for Air Canada I was transferred to Montreal. I moved to Maryland, London, England, Maryland again, Atlanta, Georgia, Boulder, Colorado, and now the desert of California. No moss has grown under my feet. I love adventure. It makes me feel alive. I love to meet new people, and share experiences, teaching what I have learned. Still I have heard from those recently on a fabulous whirlwind book tour, that when they returned home, they were still them, sadly they said.
I find joy in the simplest of things. A hot cup of coffee or tea, brings me pleasure. I get up early so I don’t have to rush. I enjoy my solitude. Each morning, I walk my dogs out alone in the desert. This sets the tone for the rest of my day. I find peace inside myself. Walking is a form of meditation for me. I talk to God in the desert. I am alone, without any distractions to take me away from my experience. I leave my cell phone in my car, as it distracts and detracts from my experience. When I am writing I turn the phone on silent. This way, my writing brings me joy, peace and things flow better through me. When I am with a client, I give them my full attention. I am not on FaceBook, or Linked In, or writing my blog. I am fully present with them. My clients feel it.
When you are happy to be alive, loving yourself fully – it does not matter where you are, you are happy. It does not matter who you are with, you are happy. It does not matter what you are doing – it could be the most dull and mindless task, but you are still there, so you are happy!
No one outside of you can bring it or give it to you. It does not grow on trees, or on money, for that can die and be lost. It is not in a car, motorcycle, lover, although all of those new and wonderful things can excite you in various ways, but they don’t make you happy.
If you are on an Internet site writing in your profile, “Looking for someone to make me happy,” you will be looking a very long time. What Are The 3 Keys, You Ask?
Be Present in the NOW
Focus on the positive
Love yourself – first, last and always.
Tonight, I will go into each of these in detail. How to let go of the past, forgive and love anyway. How to focus on the positive and create from love. You won’t want to miss the super charged hour of Love, joy and Bliss!
Join me tonight for my weekly podcast. Tonight’s subject is “3 Keys to Happiness. Join me. You will be glad you did. Invite your friends, spread the word….. happiness is an inside job!
3 Keys To Happiness
(605) 475-4000 Pin 939401#
5:00 PM PST or 8:00 PM EST
The best hour you spend today with yourself
Playback after the show is
(605) 475-4099 Pin 939401#
Jennifer is the author of the forthcoming book: Orgasm For Life. She is a hypnotherapist, Master Energy Healer, channel, Mystic, intuitive life, love and sex coach. She has a knack for cutting to the root of your issues quickly, compassionately with a directness and honesty rarely found in a practitioner.