Online dating is everywhere. There are thousands of sites to choose from. From Match.com, Zoosk, or E-Harmony as paid sites, Plenty of Fish, Adult Friend Finder, are any of them safe? There are pitfalls meeting on-line.
Strange Masked People
My recent experience with Match.com earlier this year was eye opening. I signed up for a three month membership. After three weeks on line, I closed down my profile and ended my membership. Find out why.
I spent hours creating a profile of myself. It was clear, honest and forthright. I was not looking for marriage, but wanted someone I could trust and enjoy spending time with. I was not interested in a hook-up, or “hang-out.” I wanted to take my time and get to know someone, slowly.
Though I set my profile for people within 250 miles, I had men messaging me from across the country. I had people tell me they would move to wherever I was. I knew that was not a good idea. Pressure to choose or make a decision can cause you to make a snap decision and choose the wrong person. When someone will move across the country without even knowing you, you have to wonder about their life there.
Being Intuitive Has Advantages
I sense energy. I can tell the difference in an e-mail from the “voice” of one person and the “voice” or energy of a different person.
The people that wanted to “chat” immediately were masked and fake. They immediately wanted to move to private e-mailing rather than staying on the site. Often the excuse was that they didn’t want to discuss what they did for a living on the dating site. If someone can’t tell you what they do for a living, you have to question why they would want to shift you to private e-mailing.
I found out that this was because they had fake profiles which would be shut down within days. The responses came from several different people, from several different e-mail addresses. I already sensed that there were different energies and more than one person responding. The photos were of models from catalogues and Internet sites. One such photo was a picture of a gentleman clad in a business suit, carrying a brief case.
Your Time Is Precious
Taking matters into your own hands can mean you have instant dates. Are the dates you have going to be meaningful, or a waste of your precious time?
We have a tendency to accept dates from people on the Internet because we have spent money on the dating site. We want to get our money’s worth. Unless the person has similar interests to you, don’t bother. If you aren’t a Harley riding Bess, don’t date a man with a Harley! You will not be happy when he asks you out on a road trip.
Dating takes time and energy. Meeting in person allows eye contact, a chance to feel the other person’s energy and get a sense of whether they are authentic or not. You can make eye contact and watch facial expressions. You can see if they are intent on what you are saying or checking their cell phone or texting while you talk.
On the Internet, you see a photo, but cannot be certain this photo is of the actual person, or a better looking cousin. It is easy to hide the truth on the Internet.
Even profiles lie. If someone says they are an occasional smoker, they could be a chain-smoking chimney. You have to read between the lines. To one person, two drinks a night could be “a social drinker.” To a health and fitness nut, this could spell alcoholic. The truth can be stretched easily on the Internet for each person’s purposes.
Lies, I Tell You! Lies!
There are many ways to lie and hide on the Internet. The photo you see could be 15 years old, and 50 pounds lighter that their current state. I met a man in person who had pictured himself in a tuxedo 20 years earlier when he still had hair! He was completely bald in person.
Both sexes post photos of themselves when they were younger and lighter. When you meet someone in person, there is no mistake. You see them as they are. They cannot hide how they look.
What You Are Telling The Universe
Signing up for on-line dating if you believe in the law of attraction does not support you. What you are telling God and The Universe is “I don’t believe that you can do your job! I am going to step in and show you how it’s done! I know better than YOU!”
Instead, I trust that The Divine will bring me who I am supposed to date, by putting that the person on my path. They will show up like there is a light bulb, or halow around them. Just like when I was doing landscaping, a glow was placed around the object I would need to complete the job. The Universe will send you exactly what you need, rather than what YOU think you want.
Where Can I Meet Someone?
Everyone buys gasoline for their car and groceries to eat. We shop at Costco, Publix, Albertson’s King Supers or Walmart. Noticing the people around you in line or in the produce department can open a door for you. Be open. Look up. Notice who is walking beside you, or in line ahead of you in line. Talk to people in the store. When someone walks past you two or three times, maybe you need to ask them a question. Open up the lines of communication.
If you don’t leave your house or apartment, of course there will be no opportunity to meet someone. Why not frequent the places you have interest in, like art galleries, zoos, coffee houses, or even a library? Look around you when you are getting gas for your car.
When you trust yourself you will also trust The Universe and The Divine. The Universe will never lie to you. Your body will never lie to you. Notice the signs and sounds your body gives to you when you meet someone. Does your heart go pitter patter, or does your stomach drop as in: Oh Oh? Faith requires that you let go of fear.
You Attract What You Are
An important Universal Law, you attract what you are. If you are indecisive, you will attract someone who will force you to make decisions. If you are in fear, you will attract someone who will victimize you or cheat on you. If you are in denial of who you are, you will attract someone who will lie to you.
Be The Love
To have love, you have to give it. The person you must give it to first is you. Start loving yourself today. When we are filled with self love, we attract someone who will accept us, rather than attempt to change us, because we accept ourselves. Coming to the table already filled means your relationship will be healthy, balanced, rather than based on neediness and emptiness. When we are looking for someone to fill us up, our relationship will eventually fail. No one can make us happy, but us. A relationship will bring you joy, and peace, when you already have peace within.
Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is a life, love and sex coach. She has been codependent, and needy. Jennifer understands what it feels like and can help you recover. She is a gifted healer and coach, getting to the root of your personal issues quickly. She is the author or Orgasm For Life a book to increase intimacy, understanding and communication so that your relationship becomes more connected. With trust, respect and authenticity sex is better and love expands.