By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters
SAD = Single Awareness Day
Although Valentine’s Day is fast approaching, millions of singles wonder if they will be alone forever? Pressure to find a date, mate or friend with benefits can build around February 14th. We don’t have to be SAD. We can focus on the fact that we are all alone, wallow in self pity, or celebrate that we are alone! We can have a wonderful day knowing we are not dependent on another to tell us we are wonderful, beautiful and/or LOVED! There are great ways to enjoy being alone. Let’s look at them one by one.
I LOVE MY SOLITUDE!
Think of being alone from a positive mindset, following are the benefits to being alone:
- there is no one to pick up after, no dirty underwear on your bedroom or bathroom floor to pick up with tweezers
- you don’t have to clean razor shavings out of your bathroom sink, or mascara off the basin
- you don’t sit down on the toilet and fall in, when they forgot to put the seat back down!
- you can leave the dirty dishes in the sink
- you can be grungy if you wish and not shower
- you don’t have to wear makeup, or shave for guys
- you don’t have to go to the gym and attempt to keep up with your partner
- you can eat what you want and not be concerned about the 1/2 pound of Godiva chocolate you consumed after dinner!
- you can meditate, or veg out and watch chick flicks, or action adventures all night long!
- you can listen to your music and not be concerned about whether “HE/SHE” likes or approves of your nerdy choices
- you don’t have to wear your contacts or do your hair – who cares, right? You might feel better though if you take a shower, do your hair and look gorgeous for YOU!
- you can go out with the girls (or guys) and enjoy a fun night without worrying about whether your date will get too drunk to have sex later
- you don’t have to spend money on a card, or gift
- you can stay at home and masturbate, at least this way you will be sure to have an orgasm, unlike your friends! This one is A BONUS!
Alone is not a bad place to be. Most of us don’t take the time to really sink in and look at what we really want. It is easy to say what we DON’T WANT, but focusing on that only draws more of those we don’t want who want to “fix,” control or change us.
Time To Take Stock
When we have the opportunity to spend time alone, don’t be afraid to sink inside and see yourself the way you really are. We need to look at ourselves without judgment, recrimination or shame. When we do we can analyze our past; the good, the bad and the wonderful. Sometimes, we recognize the ones we let get away and wished we didn’t. Other times we are grateful
we got away with our lives and psyches in tact, however difficult the repair and regrouping was afterward. There are ways to provide yourself with some self care, so that you enjoy the day, as you would any other day. When REAL love comes, it will be here in a flash, but you have to nurture and love yourself first.
I have lots of suggestions for the single person that wishes they had someone to love. My assertion is that you already do. It is YOU! If you are not kind and loving to you, how on earth can you ever expect another to be? When we constantly focus on being alone, alone is all we will ever be. Instead feeling that we already are love and have love in our lives, radiating that love outwards makes us a magnet for more good and better relationships. Below are two ways you can change up the way you feel about solitude for Valentine’s Day.
- Bathe in chocolate, or hot water, whichever is easier to come by.
- Light candles, play music that makes you feel happy.
- Crank up the music have a glass of wine and dance to your heart’s content!
- Buy yourself some fresh veggies and something delicious at the grocery store. Prepare yourself a romantic dinner, just the way you like it!
- Watch a movie you have been meaning to see.
- Call a friend that makes you feel good or is alone also. Sending some love to another can help you feel better about your life and situation.
- Call your mother, cousin, brother or relative that is also alone over Valentine’s Day. Your phone call might just make them AND you feel better for the connection.
- Join some single friends for bowling, a movie or dancing. You can have lots of fun as a single person. Many guys don’t like to dance. Here’s your chance to do what you love.
- Buy yourself a box of your favorite chocolates or your favorite dessert. Mine are Ferrero Roche and Tiramisu. I always buy myself something chocolate for Valentine’s Day. That way I get what I want.
- Go to the gym. Working out always makes us feel better about ourselves.
- Take a road trip to a place you have been meaning to visit.
- Do a favorite activity that you can never seem to get anyone to do with you. Enjoy it to the fullest. Climb a mountain, go for a hike, a mountain bike ride, or a run. Swim at the club, take a sauna, pamper yourself.
- Visit a friend you haven’t seen in a while that loves you.
- Do what you love. When we do what we love we nurture our soul. Often we spend so much time giving to others and doing what they want that we get lost.
- Be kind to yourself. You are worthy of love. You are lovable. You are beautiful. Expand on this feeling. The more you love you, the easier it is for someone else to do the same.
Make a List of 100 – And Prepare
Most of us can quickly tell someone what we know we don’t want in our lives. Focusing on what you truly want and writing it down will bring it much closer to being a reality than just wondering about it. I have a process I walk my clients through usually by the fourth or fifth week of practicing self love through loving thoughts
and mantras, energy clearings and catalyst work their list manifests
their heart’s desire. The fact that you have focused on him or her, written down 100 criteria for you love, then doing the following manifestation exercise brings success in over 90% of those who spend the time to do the whole exercise completely.
- Write a list of 100 criteria that you want in your Beloved. Don’t short cut and write down only 30. Thing about your desires. Make it detailed. Short, tall, stocky, intelligent, witty, faithful/monogamous, water sign, blue eyes, successful, loves dogs, cat lover, bird lover, adventurer, loves to travel, likes to read, enlightened, self actualized, talented, spiritual, loving, generous, gay, straight, fit, healthy, creative, musical, sings, prays, meditates, polite, mannerly….. great buns of steel…. you know!
- Take that wonderful list of 100 and boil it down to 10 must haves. Yes sir! Why did I ask you to focus on 100 only to boil it down to 10? Because the Universe will pay attention to your list of 100, determine what is the best for you and bring you that. You want to boil it down to the 10 must haves so that you know what you really and truly desire in a partner.
- Envision your Beloved. Feel what your life would be like with them in your life. Envision lying next to them in bed, making love, holding each other, the way that they smell and feel. Feel how different your life would be, how happy you would be to have them. Don’t focus on a specific person – let that go. Your person could be someone you already know, or not…. then make a prayer to God, The Universe, the sun, moon or stars…. something like this, “I am open and ready to receive my Beloved partner. I know that miracles happen every day and I am ready to receive mine in perfect timing.”
- Let it go! Yes, you could do a vision board. Vision boards are wonderful for manifesting your desires. Look at your vision board every day and expand your heart. Feel the joy of having the love in your life. Say a prayer of thank you every day for the love in your life. (The worst thing you can do is have a mantra….. “I am always alone….. why am I always alone. I will probably never have anyone who loves me.” When you do, you attract more of being alone.
Clean out your closet. Make room for your partner in your home. If your closet is stuffed to the gills, you don’t have room for someone in your life. Read my post on Feng Shui for the bedroom to manifest a partner. Make sure you have two bedside tables, one on
either side of the bed.
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Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is an author, inspirational speaker, radio host, sex, love and relationship coach with a focus on fearless love. She assists men and women to work through issues of trust, respect, acceptance, forgiveness. Working with Jennifer will bring love of life to you. She is an expert at orgasm, confidence, self love, worthiness, enlightenment, self actualization and spiritual living. Why? She has healed the following in herself and now lives joyously every day:
depression, anxiety, insomnia, worry, Fibromyalgia, low self esteem, negativity, sexual dysfunction, sexual trauma, feeling broken, lost, afraid…. E-mail her to have your free discovery session or to work through an issue JenniferElizabethMasters@gmail.com You can find her books on Amazon: Here