I Can’t Go For That! (No Can Do)

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

with the help of Darryl Hall and John Oates

When two people agree, anything goes, as long as no one gets hurt. When one person is pushed beyond their comfort zone, you might draw the line at threesomes, swinging or 50 Shades of Gray, S and M.

Firing up passion in the bedroom can include dressing up, playing board games, role playing and getting creative about where and when you have sex. Doing exciting things that are out of the norm, for you can excite you both. 

Even taking a roller coaster ride with your loved one, can mimic the adrenaline rush present at the beginning of your relationship. This roller coaster ride, will awaken and reignite the passion for each other.
Most men love oral sex. Yet, I hear men complain that they don’t or rarely ever get it. Women like oral sex too for the most part, but

complain also about their men not reciprocating. So what gives?

Get Out Of Your Head
Some women have issues with oral. They don’t like the taste, smell or the closeness of the genital contact. My suggestion is to always begin with a clean from the shower body and a freshly cleaned mouth, breath and teeth. I have heard women in posts say it doesn’t bother a guy if you spit. Although, that is not true. Most men find it offensive and feel a lack of acceptance by their partner. These are issues rarely spoken about between a couple. Men’s biggest complaint is that oral sex just stops after marriage.
Yet, when you are intimate oral sex is part of intimacy. Maybe one or both of you could use a hypno session with me, or an NLP programming session to get beyond the limiting beliefs about it being dirty or disgusting. When you love someone, you want to please them. Whether it is oral, anal, or a combination of everything. Trying new things may get you to move beyond what you THINK is normal. Normal people the world over perform oral sex. It is a loving act. For many women, it is the only way they can come. I have great guidance in my book, Orgasm For Life, about how to overcome the gag reflex and exactly how to perform oral well, for both men and women.
Depending on the trust between a couple, how daring a couple might be, having a threesome (English for menage a trois) can open the door to some incredible excitement. Although the flip side is that there may be some things you don’t want to bring into your bedroom. Here are possible scenarios you might not have considered about a menage a trois. 
  1. One person may get jealous or feel left out.
  2. If you are the second and your partner really hits it off with the new guy/gal, you could get really jealous. On the radio sex show I was a weekly guest on, a caller talked about an experience he wanted to have with his girlfriend. He felt completely inadequate next to the new guy and took himself out of the equation. He rolled over, pretending to sleep, while the other two had amazing sex. Needless to say, he was sorry he ever brought up the subject. They never moved beyond the feeling of his being betrayed and abandoned, even though it was his idea.
  3. Once you open the door, it might become a must have, unless you decide this is a one time event.
  4. A threesome can certainly turn the one in the middle on. What about the other partner?
  5. Watching can be a turn on for both of you.
  6. Emotions of betrayal, abandonment, intense jealousy could surface that don’t go away, unless you are well prepared, deeply bonded and emotionally mature.

Trying New Things
My recommendation is to try to improve on your skills. Ask your partner what really turns them on about the way you touch them? Talk about your experiences in the bedroom – outside the bedroom. Once you have your clothes off, no one should be telling anyone what a terrible job the other is doing. When we are naked, we are extremely vulnerable. Be kind, loving and appreciative. Give a complement, then ask for a change of pressure, speed or type of touch or tongue you would like. Being critical will not work. 
You would be surprised at how many long-time married couples engage in swinging. Politicians, famous celebrities and regular working class people have been know to partake in this switcheroo in the bedroom. Swinging clubs exist in the smallest of towns. Key clubs, where keys go into a community bowl, are selected then the couples pair off. Orgees, toga parties, you name it, with or without drugs, but usually lots of alcohol. 
Sex can become dull after years of being together, unless you get creative. There are many ways to change things up and fire up the passion. There are many suggestions below as well as in my book. Swinging is not for everyone. If BOTH parties agree, that is one thing. However, if one person is more engaged, enamored with the idea, separation or divorce can result. Jealousy, hurt feelings can leave the wounded party alone, and the one who suggested it, sorry. 
Get my book, Orgasm For Life, as I have tons of ideas that don’t involve swinging, three somes or orgees for those who have more mundane or private

sexual fantasies. Here are a few…..

  • buy some really sexy lingerie
  • create a treasure hunt, with clues
  • buy a rubber sheet and use lots of coconut oil or olive oil for a big and amazing change
  • act out some of your deepest fantasies
  • buy a board game for sex
  • play dirty scrabble
  • add some toys, vibrator and lots of massage techniques
  • go downtown to a hotel, buy a wig, dress up, or naked under a trench coat, pretend you just met and don’t know each other’s name
  • instead of undressing yourself, undress each other
  • rip his shirt off
  • rip off her underwear
  • have sex in the back seat of your truck or car
  • go out for dinner and tell him you aren’t wearing any underwear…. watch just how fast he finishes his dinner and whisks you off to get at you
  • repeat an event that you enjoyed when you first met – sexy movie, sex on the couch, or in the kitchen
  • read erotica out loud… there is some in my book

The lyrics of I Can’t Go For That!

Use my body
now you want my soul
I’ll do anything that you want me to
I’ll do almost anything that you want me to….
But I can’t go for that!
No Can DO!

About Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

My goal is to help you have the relationship that you desire, rather than settling for mediocre. I believe that each person has the capacity to move beyond limiting beliefs and fears to create the relationship of their dreams, they just don’t know how.  You can contact Jennifer for a discovery session: JenniferElizabethMasters@gmail.com

I help women find the love they are looking for by helping them recognize their beauty, radiance and what they already have within them. I just help you remember. Through my catalyst coaching energy clearings, NLP and helping you focus on being gentle and kind to yourself, you begin to think differently. You begin to feel different. Although, all that has changed is your perspective and a few mantras, meditations and energy clearings. I give you the tools to look at life and yourself differently. Then the man of your dreams shows us, usually right in front of YOU!  I help you focus with clarity, discovering what you truly want. Most people don’t have a clue. 


Today, I love myself fearlessly. Yes, I live every day happily in joy, without fear, anxiety, worry loneliness or depression. YES, I can help you do the same. I help men with issues of ED, self love, boundaries and passion. 

In the past, I have been unhappy and miserable in marriage and out. On a spiritual path since 1970.  I traveled to India, then Bali in 2011. I experienced a series of events that led to my awakening and self actualization. These events help my clients, as I am focused on them, rather than myself. My focus in my life coaching and energy healing practice is to keep marriages and relationships together. I have learned what it takes for a healthy relationship to succeed. I do this for all of humanity. Love is what is missing in most marriages. We blame, nitpick, critique our partners, when what we need is compassionate understanding and more love, rather than less!


Traditional therapy did not work for me. I knew there had to be another way. My sense was that it ends more marriages than it saves. This is due to the fact that old hurts are brought up repeatedly, keeping both parties in complaint mode. When the focus is on the negative and old issues, moving forward, shifting behavior is next to impossible. One party ends up being wrong.  Patterns, beliefs or programming that don’t serve are not cleared. There is often no change in behavior. Staying the same, does not bring healing. We have to shift our thoughts, release old patterning or programs as well as communication style for healing to occur. Shifting thoughts and patterns is where the magic comes in of my work. If you are serious about being happy, making your marriage work, becoming enlightened, or discovering your path, Jennifer is your woman. Experienced, compassionate, understanding, committed to your healing, she will drill to the center of the issue, without blame, condemnation or judgment. She has been where you are and understands what it feels like to have:

low self esteem
lack of clarity
sexual dysfunction
sex addiction
loneliness (even within a marriage)
feeling broken
All of these are just some of the issues Jennifer has healed in her own life. Enlightened in 2012, she is a catalyst for your healing, through her Divine connection. No religion, or beliefs required. Just pure love and understanding.

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